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Goals for Reform & Events in Syracuse - Your FEEDBACK

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From: Webmaster (webmaster@kids-right.org)
Date: Thu Nov 07 2002 - 12:47:55 EST


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Good People & People of Faith,

This message contains info on:

1. Our Goals for reform - your FEEDBACK
2. Your FEEDBACK - events in Syracuse...


1. Our Goals for reform - your thoughts.
---------------------------------------
We had a large number of replies, if these trigger any of your own
thoughts, please let us know...

--- Rich Eichinger <contact@AKidsRight.Org>

> A Kids' Right - To be with Your Mom & Dad
> Kids need both parents
> Equal parents

> A fundamental right to parent your child An equal opportunity to
> parent your children, chose who educates and socializes them

> A "fundamental right" to parent cannot be "infringed" without a
> "compelling state interest" determined by "strict scrutiny" The
> precious right to parent must be protected by strict scrutiny

> We hold our right to parent above all others' right to parent,
> especially the government's right to parent, and we hold our other
> parent's right to parent equal to our parent's right to parent.

> A fundamental right to parent includes the right to choose who
> educates and socializes your own children, and to provide care, to
> nurture your inherent relationship and to control your children.

 > Every child has 2 and only 2 parents, not more, not less; unless
 > modified by law, or death, or adoption.  A compelling state
 > interest determined by strict scrutiny shall be the standard used
 > in any state action to terminate a right to parent

 > A parenting plan is the exclusive right of parents, government
 > interference in parenting must adhere strictly to constitutional
 > rights to privacy, equal protection, due process and freedom from
 > unnecessarily unlawful infringement


--- "Katy's" <burtons@enter.net>

> Do you have any stipulations regarding unwed parents, women who get
> pregnant to only have a baby and not a mate, and fathers who don't
> even know that they have children?

> I also think a family mediator would be of invaluable help in such
> proceedings where a conflict arises over a decision regarding the
> child.  I think one should be required for a term after a divorce or
> birth in an unwed situation rather than parenting classes that
> adults can sleep through.  Later on though I think the mediator
> should be available (for a small fee to prevent abuse) to handle the
> small conflicts such as "can little Jonny get a tattoo at 13 years
> old or not."

> The marriage classes are a great idea except for in the unwed
> situations.  I would hope that family management and law classes
> could be offered in the junior high and high school classes so that
> children could know what they are getting into.

> The stipulation regarding one parent moving away from the other is
> very important.  I have seen several examples of parents
> intentionally moving away from the other parent to get the children
> away from the other adult.  One even quit her well paying job and
> went on welfare just to do it.  I would really appreciate a response
> regarding the unwed parent issue or if you know of a different link
> that addresses that problem.

.. the issue of being wed/unwed should not matter in the relationship
with the kids.  With an understanding that both parents are sharing
equal time with the parents, I think there is a valuable role for
mediators/"family" court judges to help settle the minor disputes you
mention where the answer does not affect the parents contact with the
child.  The only time "family" court can reduce your contact with your
children is if you are convicted of a Felony against your kids in a
criminal court (unfit to parent).


--- Elissica Epperson <elissica1@aol.com>

> Comments:: I was a ward of the department of children's services for
> 12 years and I have a true survivor story I would like to share with
> all whom are willing to listen to change the "system" it is in the
> wrong. Removing small children from their home. I have been moved 34
> times in the last 4 years. I really have the personal strive to help
> other people and change the system..


---  Dexter Braithwaite <dexterbi@aol.com>

> I visited the courts today to amend child support payments I am
> obligated to pay because I recently lost my job. The judge says to
> me that I should be setting an example, I was irresponsible for
> losing my job, and the payments will be added up in arrears until I
> am able to find a job. I explained that I was a teacher and would
> not be able to work until next September, as well as the fact that I
> have no income coming in. She replied to me too bad and to write my
> congressman to change the laws.


--- Bill and Alyce Tyree <enufisenuf@centurytel.net>

> Please be sure that there is plain language in the Act that covers
> ALL parent/child relationships.  Specifically, the separating of
> parents from their children by CPS/DSS for months on end because of
> delay after delay.  And that TPR (Terminate Parental Rights) cannot
> be done without the standard of beyond a reasonable doubt and a jury
> trial.  Also, it would be best if the family courts have proceedings
> with juries to determine decision rather than Judge's if any of the
> parents so desire


---  patriachatex@webtv.net (Robert Stevens)

> Good points!!  One and all.  I and probably everyone involved in the
> Family Law Reform Movement, knows that once the reforms pass, that
> those who oppose them will do everything in their power to try and
> stop us!

> Recall history, when the Civil Rights Act of 1964 passed, that many
> of the old bigots tried everything imaginable to resist the change.
> It took many battles and many court cases.  It still took years to
> put an end to the bias and bigotry.

> My concern is that when a major reform does pass, that those who
> rallied to make it a reality will slack off.  To combat this , those
> who support the reform need to be ready for the second step of the
> process.  The second step would be to solidify the gains.  We would
> likely have to work as hard to keep the reforms and to expand them,
> as we did to make them a reality.

> Our supporters need to be aware of just who will " lose out" under
> the reforms and what tactics they will employ .  The lawyers will
> lose out.  The " child welfare system" will lose out The prejudice
> old judges will lose out and some of the women will lose out too.

> The questions posed do help.  We need to have good answer for them
> and we need a policy that publicly states what we ultimately hope to
> accomplish.  People will support it, because it is a just and holy
> cause.  People want to on the side of the " Good Guy"!!

> http://community.webtv.net/patriachatex/TheNonCustodial


--- Aaron Burr <liberty1@citlink.net>

> Please note that in California, we are a "joint custody" state.
> (All fathers who now inhabit our prisons [of which they are many]
> are the result of "joint custody").  We have a word for "joint
> custody" in this state, it's called: PRISON INMATES.

> We also have laws within both the Family Code, Civil Code and
> Welfare and Institutions Code which sound very reasonable.  In fact,
> there are even codes within them to stop child support altogether!
> There are also "codes" which mandate that custody will be given to
> the parent who promises to assure continuing contact with the
> children...blah, blah, blah--ad infinitum, ad nauseam.  There are
> codes to modify child support for dads having problems paying it.
> There are codes for fairness, and justice within the family court.
> There are even laws which intimate that "equity" and fairness will
> preside within our courts.

> But it factually doesn't happen.  None of these things do.  I cannot
> tell you how many fathers have made pleaded requests for the
> "judges" just to obey the law.  I cannot show you how many fathers
> have been totally exasperated in reading the law, then watching the
> judge totally dismantle the father's life, in direct opposition to
> his own law.  Like one study from a Father's Rights group stated,
> our courts are so diseased, that now they actually turn to the
> mother and ask if they want the father incarcerated.  The
> perversions of these courts are just that simple.



2. Your FEEDBACK - events in Syracuse.
-------------------------------------
We got quite a spectrum of remarks this week regarding John Murtari's
efforts (http://www.AKidsRight.Org/actionc_syr)

---- Robert Muchnick <director@childrensjustice.org>

> Put your efforts into something which can do some good. Banging on
> Hillary Clinton's door is utterly useless. The Feds have absolutely
> NO jurisdiction over family law issues.

> Risking your freedom over this is not about YOU, it's about your
> obsession with YOUR own situation.  You cannot change a thing with
> this obsessive action with Hillary Clinton.  It's a STATES's RIGHTS
> ISSUE! Read the Ninth and Tenth Amendments.


---- ROBERT LASHEFF <dadstillherealways@yahoo.com>

> GENTLEMEN; READING YOUR BYLINE IS ONE OF THE FEW SOURCES LEFT TO ME
> FOR ANY HOPE AND I AM SINCERELY GREAT FULL, HOWEVER AM AFRAID THAT I
> HAVE SPENT FAR TO MUCH TIME IN COURT FIGHTING THIS TYRANNICAL SYSTEM
> AND IT HAS TAKEN ITS TOLL I AM LOOKING AT ANOTHER HOSPITALIZATION
> AND I AM UNCERTAIN OF THE OUTCOME. PLEASE KEEP UP THE INCREDIBLE
> GOOD WORK AND MYBE SOMEDAY" GOD WILLING" THIS WILL ALL BE A BAD
> MEMORY.  FEELING VERY ALONE EVEN THOUGH I KNOW BETTER.  .  GOD
> SPEED!

> TO WHOM EVER IT MAY CONCERN; THE TIME HAS COME, THE DAY I HAVE
> FOUGHT SO HARD TO PREVENT HAS ARRIVED . I HAVE BEEN FOUND IN
> CONTEMPT FOR NOT APPEARING FOR A COURT STATUS HEARING ,AS I WAS IN A
> V.A.HOSPITAL TRYING ONCE AGAIN TO ADDRESS THE SEVERE STRESS WHICH
> HAS AGGRAVATED EXISTING PHYSICAL PROBLEMS , MY ATTORNEY IF THATS
> WHAT YOU CALL HIM HAS DROPPED MY CASE, I AM VERY BEHIND ON MY CHILD
> SUPPORT, I AM UNEMPLOYED AND DESTITUTE ,THEY HAVE TAKEN MY DAUGHTERS
> AWAY FROM ME ,WITHOUT EVEN A HEARING OR ANY CLEAR ACCUSATION AND
> DRIVEN THEM INTO POVERTY IN THE SOLE CUSTODY OF DISTURBED MOTHER ,
> ALL MOST EVERY MOTION I HAVE PRESENTED TO THIS COURT HAS BEEN
> DENIED. AND NOW I AM BEING THREATENED WITH SIX MONTHS IN JAIL A LEG
> BAND AND A MASSIVE FINE. TO BE DECIDED AT A HEARING ON THE
> THIRTEENTH OF THIS MONTH .

> I AM HARD PRESSED TO FIND EMPLOYMENT DUE TO MY AGE ,MY HEALTH AND A
> POOR JOB MARKET. I HAVE TURNED TO EVERY CONCEIVABLE SOURCE FOR HELP
> IN THIS FIGHT ONLY TO BE SLAPPED IN THE FACE .I HAVE RUN OUT OF
> OPTIONS AND TIME ,THE PAIN IS TO GREAT. I WILL NOT BE JAILED
> THEREFORE I MUST BRAKE MY PROMISE TO MY LITTLE ONES.DEAR ELIZABETH
> AND ABIGAIL MY LIFE, MY HEART I INTEND TO TRY AND PRESS FORWARD
> UNTIL THE 12TH ,BUT I WILL NOT BE JAILED! FORGIVE ME MY CHILDREN I
> TRIED. BUT I HAVE LOST ALL HOPE. GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. LOVE
> DADDY***

Sorry to hear what is happening, I can appreciate your situation after
doing 6 months in Jail in similar circumstances, but keep your Faith
in a loving God and certainly don't give up -- because then your kids
certainly won't have you.  When I was jailed for support it hurt a
lot, I missed a summer vacation with my Son and Christmas, it was
awful. But I learned to work for change and that is why right now I
am willing to be arrested for peacefully being outside Senator
Clinton's office to get an answer about fixing the system.

I encourage you to give a hard look at the NonViolent Action part
of our web site, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil_back.htm -- I know
you have written before and we need people willing to get involved.

John Murtari


----  Timothy Himes <baldurkhan@hotmail.com>

> Oh my god..... That's what i can say to all of these stories and
> things that are going on. You have my support in your case and i
> hope that sooner or later, something will break for you in a good
> way.  I myself and also in a predicament, much like the other
> fathers that have written and subscribed to this list. It is also my
> firm belief that the courts of teh United States of America, our
> home of free and land of the brave, is corrupt in ways that are
> unimaginable. Everything is based around teh almighty dollar and
> not the all mighty.

> I am not religious, nor do i hold specific beliefs that could be
> called Christian, Baptist, or what have you but i do believe
> this. "All it takes for evil to prevail, is for the good to do
> nothing."  You are fighting for all of us and you have my respect.


---  "Addison Tollen" <TOLLENA@wyeth.com>

> John, keep up your efforts!! You have tons of unspoken support. I
> recently spoke with a person running for State rep. They asked me if
> I was going to vote for him. I asked what his stand on Family court
> reform was. They didn't know, so 2 hours later the person running,
> Carl Cherkin from Pa. called. I told him the issues. He's not an
> ex-lawyer, which is paramount for me, as I will not vote for a
> lawyer(we know why). He's committed to helping our cause should he
> be elected. But, who knows, they all tell you what you want to hear
> anyway.

> Curious, has Clintons office ever given a reason as to why they
> don't want to meet?? It seems so simple, just meet with you and you
> won't have to be there anymore. Not that you'll go away....just
> wondering. Good luck!! Keep up the fight!!


---  Ron Pfitzner (RPfitzner@aol.com) - [Ron is an Air Force buddy of John, he is
currently
                                    an airline pilot.]

> If I could turn serious for a moment, I've been thinking about your
> upcoming sentencing and just have to wonder if there isn't some
> better way to further your cause.  I know that you are a man of your
> convictions and are perfectly willing to accept a jail term if that
> is what it takes to make a difference, but I just wonder if in the
> end it actually will make a difference.  It seems to me as a casual
> observer that although your goal is Family Law Reform, your current
> situation is a result of your intent to exercise your rights under
> the First Amendment.  While First Amendment rights are certainly
> important, the exercise thereof actually seems to hinder what it is
> you are really trying to accomplish.  While we have the right "to
> petion the Government for a redress of grievances", I think you are
> discovering that the process by which this is done is not as
> straightforward as one would like to believe.

> In most areas of legislation, there are two opposing sides with
> various resources to further their particular viewpoint.
> Unfortunately, I think in your case your largest opponent is
> indifference.  The only people for whom your cause is meaningful are
> those who feel wronged by the existing system.  Unfortunately again,
> this constitutes only a small segment of the general population and
> tends to get lost against the backdrop of "more relevant"
> legislation.  The good news is that you should find a friendly ear,
> there should be little opposition to actually achieving your goal.

> I'm not in any way suggesting that your cause is not just or your
> motives are not pure.  I'm just wondering if your current tactics
> are achieving the desired results.  If they aren't, then maybe it's
> time to explore some new alternatives.  You are in a better position
> to know than I am.  If you've already considered all the
> alternatives and still feel your way is best, then know that I wish
> you success and as always will keep you in my prayers.  I hope
> you'll take these comments in the spirit of friendship in which they
> are offered.  Ron


I appreciate the advice, and I can't say my mind hasn't had some of
those same thoughts.  The idea of being "convicted" in a US District
court is sort of spooky and I've got some bad feelings about what
could happen and some of the "worst case scenarios" are pretty bad
(and like you say, not enough people may care).

But way back when all this started I thought long and hard about what
I was going to do (and prayed long and hard). Some long days and
nights at the monastery also.  What happened to Dom and I was terribly
wrong and I have come to know people that had it so much worse then
me.  Things need to change.

I really don't know if anything I do will really make a political
difference, but I feel a duty to try as hard as I can.  I know that by
keeping Faith and keeping the effort "positive", it has made it
possible for me to continue as long as I have.  The goal for this
effort was to get a personal meeting between Senator Clinton and
parents hurt by the system.  I still think that is achievable, I still
have faith that it can happen.

All it would take is some type of major news story and things could
change over night. I'm sure Senator Clinton would meet with us.  I
admit, it would be a lot easier if more people were involved, but you
have got to start somewhere. People could also be ready to join me at
any time.

I still have a good feeling about all this (especially when I feel
confident in my faith).  Good things are going to happen here,
although I admit I don't know when or how.

Thanks for the message, I'm answering it on Monday morning, and in
about 3 more hours I will be back in the Federal Building again and
maybe jail a little later.  I've had my doubts and I guess this gave
me a good personal review of why I should continue.

John

[Below is Ron's response]

> Hope you are not getting acquainted with a new "roommate" as I write
> these words.  Let me begin with a confession.  I have not had the
> opportunity to review all the material on your web site.  I don't
> know if Family Law falls under the umbrella of the federal courts or
> the state courts.  I don't understand how the process all works.

> What I do understand is that Senator Clinton and her staff have
> absolutely no interest in your particular issue.  I also understand
> that there are 534 other members of Congress, each with the ability
> to initiate legislation of the sort you seek.  While Senator Clinton
> may not have an ideal home life, your concerns are not her concerns.

> I guess what I was trying to suggest in my previous message is that
> given the state of families today, perhaps one of the other 534 has
> had some experience with the current Family Law system and may be
> more receptive to your ideas.  I've got to believe that someone in
> your group at least "knows someone that knows someone" and can help
> you pursue a more "viable" path.  Your legacy to Dom will be to
> prevent what happened to you two from happening to other parents
> and their children whether Senator Clinton chooses to be a part of
> that process or not.


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