[AKidsRight.Org] Your FEEDBACK: on vision, imagery, sacrifice & reform.

webmaster@AKidsRight.org

Good People & People of Faith:

This message is dedicated to your FEEDBACK over recent
messages regarding vision, imagery, sacrifice & reform:

1. Your FEEDBACK - Using Chalk to create imagery.
2. Your FEEDBACK - Vision of reform?
3. Your FEEDBACK - Working for reform.
4. Your FEEDBACK - Who do you stand with?
5. Your FEEDBACK - NonViolent Action, how?

It is a good collection of different perspectives.

1. Your FEEDBACK - Using Chalk to create imagery.
------------------------------------------------
Complete message at:
http://www.kids-right.org/archive/archive2005/0021.html
Event Background:
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/actionc_syr

--- Eric <FIRM@FIRMncp.com>              "Good idea"

> John, come this May or June, I intend to be there with you.

> Eric
> Equality is not a difficult concept.
> http://www.FIRMncp.com/  (re-opening soon)

--- Dan <dandan@dump.com>                "Bad idea"

> No offense, but I think what you're thinking of doing this time is
> going to damage our cause more than it helps it.

--- "Barbara C. Johnson" <barbaracjohnson@worldnet.att.net>

> John, you are fantastic.  I'm going to be in the middle of a trial
> on March 31st.  One of these days -- maybe, maybe in June -- your
> schedule and mine will match.  I wish you the greatest success.

--- John Buethe <MadMenUnited@aol.com>   "Good idea"

> Just a quick note to say I am behind your efforts.  If I were in
> your area I would be there with you.

> I am sure there are many of us who can't be there and also who
> don't take the time to let you know we are behind you as often as
> we should.  I expect there are hundreds who support you for each
> one who tells you so.

> You are not alone and we do appreciate your efforts. 

--- Robert Kearns <r1949k@nb.net>        "Lack of involvement"

> John, I have been trying to change the custody system for the last
> eight and a half years.  I have had numerous protests in front of
> the Blair County Courthouse located in Blair County Pennsylvania
> and always advertised the protests in advance for people with like
> situations to come and air their grievances.  Never could I arouse
> more than one person at any given protest to attend.  I find it
> very sad that people are "afraid" to make a stand for their
> children, but would rally by the tens of thousands if government
> would threaten to ban entertainment, a sporting event or close
> down the Yankee Stadium for example.

> Robert Kennedy said," Every time we turn our heads the other way
> when we see the law flouted-when we tolerate what we know to be
> wrong-when we close our eyes and ears to the corrupt because we
> are too busy, or too frightened-when we fail to speak up and speak
> out-we strike a blow against freedom and decency and justice."

... The one thing that gives me a lot of confidence is that
segregation was the same way (and in many ways worse).  It went on
for so many years and was just 'tolerated' -- then within about 10
years, everything turned upside down.  I think it can happen with
Family Rights the same way.

--- Chuck Evans <CDavis382@aol.com>     "Severe consequences"

> While I do not agree with the results you are getting and will not
> get since there is NO groundswell of public outcry and/or interest
> other than by the aggrieved parents and grandparents who have been
> subjected to state custody divorce machinery-you have attempted to
> bring light to a situation by putting yourself in front of your
> lawmaker (sadly she (H. Clinton) is the wrong one to pursue and in
> all likelihood will never lift a finger for noncustodial parents'
> plights since public support goes against the generalized women's
> issues that she requires for her groundswell political support),
> Ibelieve that your intent to deface property 9erasable or not)
> goes against your original statement.

What does it say about our movement if someone who wants to be our
President feels we can be ignored?  I'm sure you know what a shrewd
politician she is, and the fact that she feels safe in not
responding may tell us what a little 'blip' family law reform is on
the political radar?

> This type of behavior, while probably nothing more damaging than
> writing with chalk on the sidewalks, will negatively impact your
> passive stance, since you have publicly stated that your intent to
> do so will probably have "criminal" implications. Intent is
> required to prove a criminal mindset. Your admission that it is
> probably wrong meets intent.

> That was my first and foremost thought when I read your comments.
> Since they left you alone last time...Go back to writing on the
> sidewalks-maybe get some local artists from the local art
> college/schools to do muralistic chalk drawings of the effects of
> custody divorce on a nice sunny day before the federal courthouse
> opens-get the media to cover the "artwork". Keep your eye on the
> prize.

You have some good comments there and I like to think I had
considered that.  It will certainly be a 'slam/dunk' prosecution and
I worry about diluting the message, but I think the primary focus
remains clear.  Is this parent writing "I LOVE YOU DOM - Senator
Clinton Help Us!" on the wall of a Federal Building to deface and
with selfish criminal intent?

I will be writing small and using chalk, so 'damage' will be almost
nonexistent.  The greater dilemma I was facing was their willingness
to tolerate any type of chalk writing in the Federal Plaza and my
inability to get a good group of parents there. I would have loved
to do as you say and get some media coverage of a group of us
leaving artwork for our kids -- but the folks just didn't show.  I
failed in getting them to turn out (although I'm quite glad Cathy
Hughes showed up for one event).

So, we need to keep the ball rolling.  I am trying to keep my eye on
the prize and our method is NonViolent Action, and that involves the
willingness to make personal sacrifice.  Am I a 100% sure of what I
will be doing Thursday, no -- but I am quite comfortable with it.

Again, many thanks for the message.  I think a lot of people have
similar thoughts to yours.

--- Mike <mikec@saveaparent.org>       "Make the sacrifice"

> EXACTLY John, Thank you for writing this post.  I have faced
> similar feedback as you... During the build up to a recent rally,
> I posted some things about some supplies I had found which would
> help in the chalk-it-up campaigns. The replies I received were
> "don't do it... you'll end up being arrested".  It seems the
> majority of people are too scared about getting arrested for
> something they *believe* in.

Yes, most people associate being in 'jail' with 'criminals'.  Let's
try to remember what the essence of criminal behavior is,
'selfishness'.  I have been arrested many times, convicted a few
times, and spent some time in jail -- but I am not a criminal.

Again, I am willing to sacrifice my freedom to show the belief I
have in our GREAT right to be a parent, by risking jail to carry a
picture of my child, or to write "I LOVE YOU" to my child -- any
person can see the difference.

> My view is, if you TRULY believe in the cause, you will do
> WHATEVER it takes to make the change we are looking for. You John,
> are exactly that person, and I thank you, my children thank you,
> for standing up in this way.  I didn't over exert my effort to get
> to the rally, because I had visitation with my daughter at the
> time... and I didn't feel right missing visitation for a *half
> hearted* effort of pushing out to the public what I believe. I did
> however chalk-up my vehicle, and drive around town. I had my truck
> sitting in the car park at my office for the day work day... 3
> people in my office came up to me and told me their stories, and
> were wanting more information. That same evening, while I was
> waiting to collect my daughter at our "exchange point", a woman
> came up to me and told me her story, we exchanged contact
> information as she wanted to know more. Countless people on the
> roads during rush hour traffic saw my truck and my message... and
> visited my website. The mother of my daughter had to put our
> daughter into my vehicle with it chalked-up like that... in a very
> busy car park, during rush hour time... hopefully it embarrassed
> her into thinking about what she is doing to our child.

> My sacrifice of my vehicle for a day brought 4 people into direct
> contact with me, and countless others into indirect contact.  THIS
> is what it's about people. We can't continue to sit on the
> sidelines, scared of ridicule, scared of arrest, for something we
> claim to TRULY believe in.

Yes, so many people won't 'sacrifice' because they think it won't
matter.  I encourage folks to read the background material on
NonViolent Action, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil_back.htm -- it is
NOT about being angry, but demonstrating the love...

> Let's ALL follow John's path... get out there and do WHATEVER it
> takes... make sacrifices (just not sacrifice of your life... we
> need people to be alive).  ;) At this point, I'm not saying set
> out with the sole purpose of being arrested, unless that is truly
> what you wish to do... but to go out there and be WILLING to be
> arrested if that is what it comes to.  Stay Strong, Keep Up The
> Fight,

Thanks for the kind message and words of support.  What I do is
nothing special and it doesn't take a lot of resources.  But you
have to have Faith that what you will do matters.

2. Your FEEDBACK - Vision of reform?
------------------------------------
Original message at: http://www.kids-right.org/archive/archive2005/0022.html 

--- Liams Dad <LiamsDad@LiamsDad.org>       "System is hard to believe"

> I enjoyed your remarks.   http://www.liamsdad.org/ 

>> Who didn't have the opportunity to participate in an Easter Egg
>> hunt!  Who didn't have the chance to sit down and eat a load of
>> chocolate with your little one.  Why?  Because a court order
>> decided that was not in "your child's best interest."  Imagine
>> that!

> Yep hard to imagine, yet that is the case :-(

--- <tammi@krightsradio.com>                "Keep fighting"

> Thank you for the inspiration to continue on in this great battle
> we are in.  At times, I wonder if we are doing any good at all.
> Then, God uses brothers, like yourself to encourage each of us to
> fight the fight.

> After all, what else is there to do with your time?

--- Richard Eichinger <hmh1497@yahoo.com>   "Great Psalm"

> Thank you, so much for this. I was touched profoundly by the
> prayer. These past weeks dealing with my rejection from the USSC
> and Terri Schiavo's life, I feel deeply affected. I only pray that
> this profound knowledge we have gained will give us the strength
> to continue.

3. Your FEEDBACK - Working for reform
-------------------------------------

--- "Ken Lehman" <kenlehman@hotmail.com>    "Minnesota"

> I am Ken Lehman the Legislative Liaison for Minnesota Chapter of
> American Family Rights Assoc. and Redress Inc. (MN AFRA /
> Redress). 

> I don't have any influence with our state, or it's politicians,
> but I am working on it. Lorna is our Administrative Asst. and puts
> stuff together from a consensus of all the groups and orgs we work
> with. She can be reached by E-mail lornakneen@hotmail.com.

> Our main web address is: http://www.mnafra.com/

> Our Yahoo Group is: groups.yahoo.com/group/mnafra/

--- Dave Whyte <info@nttireland.com>        "Ireland"

> I head a movement in Ireland I would be interested in holding a
> day of action worldwide, what do you think

--- Harry <hdpham2001@yahoo.com>

> Would you consider calling for a non-violent march nationwide
> similarly to Martin Luther Ling Jr's or Gandhi's movement ? Just a
> thought...

Thanks for the message.  A big march would be a great idea and there
have been a lot of attempts at this in the past with some "Million
Dad" marches, etc...  Even before the Blacks had BIG marches against
segregation -- they first had small groups and individuals willing
to demonstrate their Faith in the cause.  We are not quite there
yet?  But I think we are moving forward...

---  Caren Ragan <Donnaragan@aol.com>     "Just the FACTS"

> I am writing to you from a group called Families Against Court
> Travesties.  We are currently targeting our legislatures to stop
> passing any more bills that burden parents of divorce and start
> looking into the corrupt practices of the courts. This is the time
> of year that the legislature is in session and all members should
> take advantage and cry out about the corruption that is happening
> in divorce court. It is time that our government stand up and take
> notice........caren from FACTS

> Our website is ( http://www.factscourtwatch.org/ ) . As far as
> feedback from the Family Rights Act we definitely feel that there
> should be an attorney cap as far as fees goes. Families should not
> also have to suffer great financial burdens as they are suffering
> through the pain of divorce. Of course we also feel that both
> parents should always have access to the children, unless there is
> evidence by a jury of your peers of Domestic Violence. WE are
> greatly disappointed in the amount of Discretion in Divorce court
> to the point that Judges do not think they have to follow the
> law. Also there is way too much involvement by so called
> "professionals" hiding behind the term " best interest of the
> child"........I hope this is helpful...

--- Warren  <UNITE4LUV@aol.com>             "Best Interest?"

> My name is Warren and I am the father of two fine sons.  For over
> a decade I have been active in seeking fairness, justice and and
> end of the gender bias system which wrongly targets Blacks,
> persons with limited income, single parents, unmarried parents and
> other 'victims'.

> IN my movement for reform I have protested, formed the
> INTERNATIONAL COALITION FOR FATHERS AND MEN, FOUNDATION TO END
> INSTITUTIONAL ABUSE, ADVOCATES AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, and more.
> Recently I spoke before the California Appeals Court and advocated
> for an end of labeling us as moms and dads and replaces these
> stricken terms with 'parents'.  I have filed many lawsuits and my
> evidence proves gross misrepresentation by attorneys, suppression
> of evidence, double standard, fraud, perjury, and lots more
> deliberate and intentionally errors.  I hold the term 'malice' must
> be stricken from the law whereby social workers can be properly
> sued for their criminal mishandling of cases to the detriment of
> our parental and constitutional rights and freedoms and (of
> course) best interest of our children and their wellness...

Congratulations, sounds like you have put a lot of time into
this. Do you have a web site I can point people to so they can see
the material you created.

> The bitter result is few fathers stand up and advocate
> effectively.  I am on disability due to stress related to this
> case especially.  I have been ten years broken within by the
> unfair needless restraints preventing me from protecting and
> having my sons in my custody.  OUTRAGE have been my lunch,
> distress supper, and desperation breakfast.  Sleep is up all night
> writing briefs, surfing for laws, trying to find some whatever to
> ease the horrible reality that persist to ask, drill, drum... 'are
> your sons okay... how would you know... you are only a
> visitor....'  ...

> In other words I know what I stand for... I know what must be
> done.. .and I know how we must do it...  We, those who are
> rational and focus on helping children by ensuring they are placed
> in the custody of the parent who is best fit,

	You lost me on the 'best fit' part?  Would you agree that good, 
average, and poor parents are all EQUAL parents.  To be found
a BAD parent you need to demonstrate malintent and serious harm to 
your kids -- and you get the protection of a criminal jury.   That 
would also stop bias as you mention below and recognize your right to 
be an equal parent to your kids.

4. Your FEEDBACK - Who do you stand with?
-----------------------------------------
Complete message at: http://www.kids-right.org/archive/archive2005/0020.html

>> ... And yes, I have been quite 'burned' by the Child Support
>> system and it does need to be fixed -- but my BIG issue is the
>> right to be a parent to my own children.  If I get just a 20
>> second 'sound bite' in front of a National TV Camera, am I going
>> to talk about child support?  You've got to be kidding!

--- Chuck D <dehartcg@earthlink.net>

> I like your comment on the 20 second sound bite.  Mine would be
> about the same, as well as that my son has the right to be
> parented by me.  I think these are the basic statements that
> capture the essence of "family civil rights."

--- Wonder Woman

> I believe F4J is an excellent model for us to follow but it needs 
> tweaking.  I think the name Families-4-Justice is the ideal.  I also 
> think we need to try not do things that get us arrested or cause a 
> public nuisance.  We also want to try to form a good rap our with the 
> media and public officials.  Always try the amicable, reasonable 
> approach first, to get our points across.  Then if we meet with 
> opposition, we can turn to more forceful ways to make them do whats 
> right.  There is power in numbers and when they have droves of people 
> standing together in their face, they cannot ignore us.  Just 
> remember, these people vote! ; )  I was watching the movie Malcomb X 
> last week and one great scene, where a local  black male was beaten 
> badly by the police and the people in the neighborhood were crying 
> out to Mr X to do something about it, he marched to the police 
> station and demanded to see the prisoner and got the man medical 
> attention.  That was a powerful scene.  Can you imagine doing that?  
> Can you imagine hundreds marching to the family courthouse on behalf 
> of one of our brothers or sisters and demanding justice?  Powerful 
> stuff!  Once we get local chapters started, there will be no stopping 
> us! --   Wonder Woman

--- Peter Burns <dad4justice@yahoo.com.au>

> Wonder Woman ... You say that we should always try the
> amicable,reasonable, honey approach first. Try spending 4 years
> apart from your daughters on the basis of false allegations of
> child abuse & domestic violence! All courts & government officials
> have blocked my appeal rights ! - Try spending 3 months in a round
> prison cell with a straight jacket on! Try and imagine police
> thrashings & watching police flush your heart medication down the
> toilet and saying "he should be dead by morning" after para-medics
> leave the cellblock! Try and imagine what its like to be in a
> max-security psych ward and you get visitors ( mum & girlfriend &
> twin sons) but you are to drugged to recollect ever knowing them! 
> I could go on & on but I won't ,however, I do feel the
> frustrations of people like "Bob" and realize that sometimes
> emotions get the better of a man as he struggles with the
> injustice every second of the day! You are in no position to say
> that F4J needs anything other than support for its members in
> jail! Please do get get offended Janet and start a slanging match,
> but come on, how can you ever know the pain that some men have
> endured? dad4justice.

I can relate a bit to what you are talking about, and have no doubt
that what you describes goes on (I have seen similar things myself)
-- but what is our response?  I'm sure Wonder Woman is willing to be
forceful (if the situation requires).  Almost everyone is (if the
situation requires).  Parents are willing to make sacrifice for
reform (if the situation requires).

I think you know where I am going with this, the problem for us is,
the situation NEVER requires....  There is always one more letter
you can write, one more situation that might improve with time.  No
one wants to voluntarily embrace more suffering voluntarily when it
might not matter -- isn't that common sense?

If you are willing to act out of love for your kids, and not hatred
of others -- when is the time, now.  I think that is the beauty of
NonViolent Action, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil_back.htm, your
'action' isn't going to ever hurt anyone else -- but, you just have
to have Faith that it will always matter.

Follow up from Peter:

> I have faith & yes I am willing to act out of love and I do not
> hate anybody.However I do detest the systemic failure & cumulative
> & sequential errors from Government agencies that has caused the
> unnecessary sad/suffering for my 4 children and my mother. They
> don't know what is in the child's best interest's.I do not dislike
> Wonder Women and I admire her as I know how much enthusiasm she
> has. It was sad when she left the movement and I hope she is still
> fighting for our Children rights as firmly believe it is our
> generation take has been called to save our kids .I hope she
> returns to the group? The society that neglects it's children is
> one generation away from destruction .Save our Children -love -
> truth- integrity - justice  dad4justice New Zealand

5. Your FEEDBACK - NonViolent Action, how do I do it?
-----------------------------------------------------

Renee Jacobs <reneemichele7@msn.com>

> How would I go about non violent action at a court house in
> Florida doing what it is that you are doing?  I'm more than
> willing to be taken away in cuffs if need be for this cause.  What
> can do? Can I picket outside, things of that nature? How do I get
> media attention?  I've contacted the news papers, news channels,
> no one will bite on my case, why is that?  Educate me, please.

Yes, the media doesn't pay a lot of attention because it is just not
'news' and it is difficult to report on specific cases.  There are
some concrete examples of past activity at the web site, recording
day-to-day activity.  I would recommend you look at that
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/events.htm -- and also the material at the
web site on NonViolent Action.  Then it may be clearer about what
your options are.  There is also a simple checklist at
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/checklist.htm

--- Liams Dad <LiamsDad@LiamsDad.org>

>> Before the Million Parent Marches, before the Huge Letter Writing
>> campaigns will ever happen -- there have to be people with a
>> vision who are willing to act when the risks are high.... and
>> things are starting to happen.

> I'm willing to do something, I just need to know what to do while
> still trying to fight my legal battle... I have very little left
> to sacrifice that hasn't already been taken by the system.

Thanks for a kind message and your participation is welcome!  You
may want to look at some detailed past history at
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/events.htm -- there is also a checklist to
think about http://www.AKidsRight.Org/checklist.htm

-- 
                                       Webmaster
____________________________________________________________________
                                       AKidsRight.Org
"A Kid's Right to BOTH parents"
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/

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