[AKidsRight.Org] A delay in efforts for reform / Call for active parents to help.

jmurtari@AKidsRight.org

Good People & People of Faith,

It's been two months since I've had to suspend my effort at the
Syracuse Federal Building to help get a meeting between Parents and
Senator Clinton.  http://www.AKidsRight.Org/actionc_syr

A lot has happened for me personally. I don't believe it will effect
our efforts or success in the long term, but it's quite a 'bump' in
the road.  Pardon me for the length of my personal story below.  I'm
sure many of you will be able to relate to all or parts of it, and
many of you have been through much worse ...

Before that I would encourage folks to volunteer and help with the
group web site and mailing list. Kevin Purdy (Boulder, CO) has been
steadfast for years in handling some of our email
(contact@AKidsRight.Org). In the past we have asked before, a few
people have responded, but no one has followed through.  If you have
been on the list for a while and feel you want to do more -- you are
welcome.  We specifically need people:

Group Spokesperson - listed as a contact on a press release.  Must
have a cell phone and be able to be interrupted during the day by
media looking for more information.  Able to articulate our groups
goals and methods.

Update our Hall of Shame - we have a growing collection of horror
stories at http://www.AKidsRight.Org/shame.htm Need someone who has
simple knowledge of web page formatting and can post parent
submissions.

Webmaster - someone who can take a more complete role in managing the
web site; updating content.  Should be comfortable with web site
design.

Mailing List/Email - able to reply to folks contacting the group,
format news items, and product new content for our list messages.

Requirements for Volunteering to Help
-------------------------------------
1. A parent with strong personal Faith.
2. Review/understand the key items for our Group.
   NonViolent Action: http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil_back.htm
   Family Rights Act: http://www.AKidsRight.Org/act.htm
3. Read the book:
   "Let the Trumpet Sound - The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.",
    Steven B. Oates,1982.  
4. Understand and support the Goal and Approach of our group:

                           Goal:
                           ----
It is time we recognize & protect our GREAT Civil Right to be parents
to our own children. There ought to be a "significant barrier" the
system has to cross before they can interfere with our family life.

We are not looking for MORE laws, but protection.  That you and your
spouse are both considered Fit & Equal parents (equal in terms of both
physical and legal custody).  If anyone (a spouse, relative, social
services) wishes to challenge that, you have:

1) The right to counsel.

2) The right to be presumed a fit parent, innocent, and deserving of
an equal relationship with your kids.

3) The right to protection of a jury.  The "state" needs to prove you
were a demonstrated serious and intentional threat to your child's
safety.

                        Approach/Method:
                        ---------------
We are not loud, rude, or vindictive.  We treat everyone with kindness
and respect -- especially people with whom we disagree (which includes
the other parent, lawyers, and other officials in the "system").

We have held up the ideal that people willing to demonstrate: Faith,
Love, and Personal Sacrifice can be the means of effective social
change. More specifically, that Parents can promote Family Law reform
by demonstrating:

1) Faith in a loving God, 

2) Love for their children, former spouses, and other "brothers and sisters", and 

3) Willingness to make Personal Sacrifice, 

NonViolent Action allows you to demonstrate through "unambiguous
physical action" the depth of your Faith and belief in your "cause." 
It is a positive demonstration of love given at sometimes tremendous
personal cost.

Personal Update
---------------
I was ready to 'escalate' my actions at the Federal Building and had
everything set up when my mother became very ill (as was explained in
our previous message:
http://www.kids-right.org/archive/archive2005/0049.html

In late September my Mom came home by ambulance on a stretcher, with a
DNR order and a diagnosis of less than six months to live. It was hard
to take because the change in her condition was so sudden. It was hard
thinking of a funeral; hard thinking of how it might be another
struggle with my former spouse to get my son Domenic here for a
funeral; hard to think about how I would make the bills by myself to
keep the family home once she was gone.  Hard to think that at 49, and
having worked hard my whole life (and a pretty good resume,
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/resume_jm.htm) -- that I was approaching my
'golden years' with nothing in the bank, a mountain of debt, and no
retirement other than Social Security.  For a while I felt like
someone had plunged a Novocaine needle into my brain!

Years ago, when the divorce happened, and I decided to 'buck the
system' and stand up for my right to be an EQUAL parent to my son -- I
thought it might cost me everything I have.  It was grim beginning to
see that become a dark reality.

And, along the line of 'when it rains it pours' -- a few days later I
got hit with some legal paperwork from my former spouse.  To be
brought back into court in Syracuse on a Child Support violation and
potentially jailed (I spent six months in jail five years ago,
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/support_jm.htm).  I had worried about this
happening and several years ago I had saved up some money for an
attorney to file for a change in support/custody.  In two years, he
was just too busy, nothing got filed and now I am on the defensive.

The stakes are a little higher this time.  I end up in jail, my mother
will end up taken from our home and put in a nursing home.  Not a
pleasant thought.  The "Show Cause" order also suspended my license
(again) and driving is not really an option in my small home town.

I've lived in a different county for over 5 years now and wrote them
asking for delay, change of venue, more time to respond.  It was
ignored, a trial was scheduled in Syracuse Family Court for November
3rd....  Not much bus service in Lyons.  How do I get there without a
car?  State Law says the venue should be where I live, but the
"Hearing Magistrate" was happy to say it should be in Syracuse (my
former spouses attorney has great connections there).  I may just
write in a letter and stay home.

In July I had already been stopped and ticketed in my hometown for
knowingly driving with a suspended license (Aggravated Unlicensed
Operation).  It is in the Village Court and I know the people.  They
are trying to be nice and would be happy to offer me "Unlicensed
Operation" if I would just plead guilty.  At the time I was pulled
over (because a turn signal wasn't working), I was taking my Mother to
a doctor's appointment.  A trial is scheduled in Lyons Village Court
on December 12th.  I don't expect jail, but it could be a several
hundred dollar fine.

Oh, and I almost forgot Syracuse City Court, where I had been ticketed
back in August for climbing some artwork outside the Federal Building
as part of our effort for reform.  Normally, I wouldn't have worried
about the outcome there, jail or not.  But because of my Mom's
condition I will have to negotiate with them and try for a 6 month
ACD.  It seems the DA wants 20 hours of 'community service' -- heck, I
thought what I was doing was a 'community service!'  Imagine that!

Faith & Justice
---------------
Again, again, and again, you have got to believe.  Got to be
thankful.  I saw the earthquake coverage from Pakistan, imagine being
a parent and finding the crushed body of your only child?  Do I have
any serious problems, no Sir!   I have a son in wonderful health,
and while he may be distant in miles, we love each other very much --
what else is more important?  Would I trade the home and a good
retirement away for that -- in a minute!

Do we understand the meaning of this line from the 4th Psalm:

"...make justice your sacrifice and trust in the Lord."

When we take a 'plea bargain' when we know we are not guilty. When we
'take a deal' we don't like regarding our kids even though we know it
is wrong.  When we just get tired and 'give up.' When we just 'go
along.'  When our effort for reform is just 'stone throwing.'

Have we been willing to make the sacrifice that standing for Justice
sometimes requires?  I still get amazed at the angry language parents
can use to describe others that have hurt them.  I get that way at
times, but then I think of Justice and the small 'trust' that I have.
I'm humbled as I look at my own glass house.  How about you?

                                       Best regards!
-- 
                                       John Murtari
____________________________________________________________________
Coordinator                            AKidsRight.Org
jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org                "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents"
Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211)        http://www.AKidsRight.Org/

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