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Member needs help in Texas!
From: Kids-Right (kidsrigh@hammer.thebook.com)
Date: Wed May 19 1999 - 21:29:45 EDT
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Folks,
A member in Texas is in heartache about what will soon
be a forced separation from a child. What follows below is the
recent exchange of messages as we explored his options.
If any of you can contact David, please feel free --
especially if you are in his area. Many of you have been through
this -- you know how much a message of support means.
Also, I hope you will take the time to read all this.
It is a LONG message, a lot of details -- but the funny thing is,
a lot of you don't have time (even though you have been victims
of the system yourselves). With that in mind, also think back
to the long affidavits you may have submitted to a Judge (and
felt they were never read!) -- It happens to the best of us! We
mean well -- but just don't have the time.
That is one of the reasons the members of the group
feel a strong need for jury protection of the parent/child bond.
Once it is broken -- who has time to put it back together again.
Cordially,
John Murtari
___________________________________________________________________
Member Kids-Right.Org
(315)635-1968,x-211 http://www.kids-right.org/
====== first message we received
> Date: Mon, 10 May 1999 21:45:16 -0400
> To: webmaster@kids-right.org
> From: hotshots@tca.net ()
> Subject: Kids-Right: Info Request
>
> My name is David R. May. I am a resident of Madisonville TX, Madison Co., and I am also a member of the Choctaw Tribe. I have been a legal resident of the State of Texas for the past five years. My wife’s name is Angela May. She currently now resides in Fort Gibson, Oklahoma. We have been separated for nearly two years. Up until March of 1998, she resided in Huntsville Texas, with our five-year-old daughter. Before our separation, we lived together in Huntsville Texas since 1994.
>
> I have been trying to get a divorce for nearly two years. Everytime we got close to settling things, my wife would change her mind. In November of 1998, after my wife threatened to kidnap our daughter and take her back to Oklahoma, I hired an attorney to do the divorce and custody proceedings, as I couldn’t go on living like this anymore. I currently live with my fiancé, my five-year-old daughter, and a new daughter which my fiancé and I have together. We cannot get married and do what is right for our family until things are settled. In early December of 1998, before my attorney could get the divorce and custody papers filed (again, because we were trying to accommodate my wife), my wife filed for divorce and custody in Muskogee Co. Oklahoma, where she had moved in March of 1998. I had no problem with her filing for the divorce in Oklahoma. My daughter moved to Texas in March of 1994, and lived continuously in Texas until March 1998, when her paternal and maternal gra!
!
nd!
> !
> mothers came to Texas and picked her up. She then lived with her paternal grandmother in Muskogee Co., Oklahoma from the end of March, 1998, to July 25, 1998, at which time, she moved back to Texas with me, at her mother’s request, and has lived ever since.
>
>
> My concern is for my daughter. In none of the Court hearings that we have been to has anyone addressed what is best for her. When I got my daughter in July, after her mother called me practically in the middle of the night begging me to come and get her because she couldn’t handle her, she was not the same little girl that I had raised. She would scream, throw fits, break things and so forth. She had no proper physical hygiene. Her mother had her brushing her teeth, when she made her brush them, with a tooth brush that wouldn’t even reach her back teeth. She was using a “doll” brush to brush her hair. If my daughter were fidgeting while getting her hair brushed, my wife would hit her over the head with the brush. My wife actually let one of her boyfriends physically shake my daughter, hurting her, and said nothing. My daughter was allowed to eat constant junk food, which caused her to have terrible bouts of constipation. It hurt her so bad, that she would hold her !
!
“p!
> !
> otty” for days, causing stomachaches and a swollen “bottom”. It has taken me over nine months to get her over that. Her teeth have been broke and are in need of dental work. When my daughter got to Texas, she was way behind on her shots. I am of an Indian heritage, which means my daughters gets free medical care at Indian hospitals, so there is no reason she shouldn’t have had her shots. Her mother has only sent $58 the entire time that I have had our daughter. At the mere mention of my wife’s name to our daughter, she explodes. She cries, and begs not to be sent back to her. The past two times that her mother has talked to her on the phone, she has had nightmares for weeks straight. The last time that her mother called, our daughter told her that she was selfish, hateful and did not have God in her heart. She also told her that she did NOT want to live with her. She begs me everynight to let her stay here with her new family. She even asked me to tell the Judge, !
!
“P!
> !
> lease let her stay.”
>
> We have witnesses that have seen my wife beat on our daughter. They have first hand heard my wife tell my daughter that she hated her and myself and wished that I was dead. She has been slapped and cursed at. When my wife moved to Muskogee, my mother let her and our daughter stay with her. My wife would go out on a date and tell my daughter that she could not leave her room all night, or she would put our daughter to bed, and after my mother and daughter had gone to sleep, she would sneak out of the house, leaving my daughter on her end of the house alone, with my mother not knowing that she was alone.
>
> My daughter is now in Kindergarten in Madisonville Texas. She is in T-ball, choir, church and gymnastics. She has a whole new life and family. She calls my fiancé’s parent’s mama and papa. We are not trying to replace her mother, but simply trying to do what is best for the child. My daughter has seen a counselor, who has deemed that she is a very angry and troubled child. Now, starting this Friday, my daughter must begin “play therapy” to try and work through her aggressions. There has to be something done!! This child cannot go back to that kind of living arrangement. Her mother has lived with at least two different men since she has been in Oklahoma, and has never had a place of her own. Our daughter doesn’t even know the man that she is living with now.
>
> Please, can anyone help us or at least put us in contact with someone that can? I am a proud veteran of this Country, and to be honest, I have never been more disgusted or disappointed with the so-called Legal System as I am now. The issue here, is the safety and well being of a minor child, and no where in any courtroom, has this been addressed. It is my understanding that the days of Gender Preference in deciding a custody case where over. If anyone would even talk to my daughter, they would see how afraid of her mother she is, and how hurt she has been by her mother. Why should a five-year-old child have to worry about being kidnapped while she is playing at school? I am in no way afraid of the facts of our case, and relish the opportunity to present them; but up until now, no one has allowed us to do so. The fact that this case is about a human life and not a piece of property has been of no concern to the courts.
>
> Today, May 10, 1999, I was ordered to return my daughter to her mother no later that May 29, 1999. That doesn’t leave me much time to help my daughter. Before she left town, I let my daughter see her mother, whom she hadn’t seen in over nine months. My daughter was terrified of her mother. She wouldn’t speak to her, touch her, nor have anything to do with her. This is a five year old little girl, who should be excited about seeing her mother. Clearly, something terrible has happened to her to resent her mother so much.
>
> I plead to the people of the Choctaw Nation to join hands, as a nation, and protect this child, the future of the Indian Nation. Do not allow this child to be sold out for the sake of convenience. To lose one Indian child is to lose a leader of tomorrow’s tribe. Help me, help us, show the world that the Choctaw Nation, was and still is a force to be reckoned with. Please, help make a difference. If you have any ideas on how to help, please write to me at 4844 Malone Rd., Midway TX 75852, or write to any Tribal leader, and urge them to help us. Please, time is running out. Help me save the life of my daughter.
>
> Respectfully submitted,
>
> David R. May
> 4844 Malone Rd.
> Midway TX 75852
> (409) 348-2521 (H)
> (409) 291-4200 (W)
> e-mail: hotshots@tca. net
>
============== FIRST RESPONSE TO DAVID
>From kidsrigh Wed May 12 07:17:36 1999
To: hotshots@tca.net
Subject: Re: Kids-Right: Info Request
David,
I'm very sorry to hear what is happening, and what you must be
going through. If you feel your daughter is physically in danger you
need to do something -- if you can afford a lawyer, see what they can
do --especially if you have witnesses.
If you feel the system won't work -- you may want to think
about a peaceful protest (at our web site see,
http://www.kids-right.org/protest_jm.htm) -- we can help you with
publicity and with getting material to local TV/papers/radio -- but you
have to get us the names/fax numbers.
It may require you to sacrifice a LOT, but if you have faith,
things should work out for the best. Take the time to read through
our web site.
Keep in touch!
John Murtari
___________________________________________________________________
======================== NEXT LETTER FROM DAVID
>From hotshots@tca.net Wed May 12 19:05 EDT 1999
To: "Kids-Right" <kidsrigh@hammer.thebook.com>
Subject: Re: Kids-Right: Info Request
Date: Wed, 12 May 1999 18:10:36 -0500
John,
Thank you for your help. You don't know how great it is to just
get a letter back from someone, it reaffirms my feeling that I
am doing the right thing. I got some names and numbers of
TV stations and newspapers. Thanks for everything!!!
Sincerely,
David May
======================= NEXT RESPONSE TO DAVID & HIS REPLY
>From hotshots@tca.net Sun May 16 15:29 EDT 1999
To: "Kids-Right" <kidsrigh@hammer.thebook.com>
Subject: Re: Protest in Texas
Date: Sun, 16 May 1999 14:35:28 -0500
The answers to your questions are in ()'s behind the
question. Thank you so much for your help.
David May
-----Original Message-----
From: Kids-Right <kidsrigh@hammer.thebook.com>
To: hotshots@tca.net <hotshots@tca.net>
Date: Sunday, May 16, 1999 6:35 AM
Subject: Protest in Texas
>David,
> Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Thanks
>for the info. Please give me a phone number and good times
>to call in case I need to talk to you. If you want to call
>me, best is during the day at 315-635-1968, x-211 (leave
>message if I am not there).
> I reread your story. I have some questions for you
>and also some "suggestions". Please let me know on this. I
>will then get back to you quickly and we can start sending some
>stuff out by e-mail fax.
>
> * Could you give me the locations of the Media stations
>below (City, State).
>
> * It really seems the poor child is in danger. Do
>you have a lawyer, have you tried to file papers (A SHOW CAUSE ORDER)
>in a Texas Court, to temporarily STOP this move.
(We had an Stay in Texas, but the Judge in Oklahoma called
the Texas Judge that the only reason that we were fighting it
was because we were mad at him, not for the sake of the child.
So, the Texas Judge lifted the Stay. We are trying to get the
Oklahoma Judge thrown of the case because he is taking this
so personally. We have lawyers in Texas and Oklahoma. We
are trying to retain one right now to represent my daughter.)
>
> * Are the other people who have seen this abuse willing
>to sign sworn statements for you. (Yes, the other people
that saw the abuse are ready and willing
to sign sworn statements, give depositions or testify.)
>
> -- As part of any future "protest", you need to give the
>system a chance to work. You believe your child is in danger, you
>have witnesses. Even if you can't afford a lawyer, you need to
>get down to the local Family Court and file papers to stop the
>move. It does not have to be perfect -- just do the best you can.
>
> -- We can take copies of those papers and put them at
>our web site when we do news releases. If you don't have the
>money and Texas doesn't give you a lawyer (a lot of states
>do for child custody -- then that is also part of the problem).
>
>
> * How far do you want to go with protesting this? What
>do you plan on doing? (We, in the long run, want to see the
system changed. No longer is the mother the best place for
a child, and father's are just not given a fair chance. We will
go as far as we need to go.)
>
> -- PLEASE review the material at our web site on
>Civil Disobedience. I DO NOT recommend anything violent or hate-filled.
>Let what you are doing be motivated out of love for your daughter
>and a desire to make the "system" better for others. I'll tell
>you David, I see a lot of people get buried in "hate", they hate
>their ex-spouse, the lawyers, the judges, the police -- it does not
>do any good.
>
> -- If the court action fails or is delayed. I would
>probably NOT voluntarily go along with the order. Make them come
>and get her -- and passively resist when they do. Which probably
>means jail for you.
>
> -- You may want to think about not making "bail" and staying
>in Jail as part of the protest.
>
> * Do you have some people who are helping you. Are any
>of them on the Internet. (My fiance and mother are helping me.
They are both connected to the internet.)
>
> -- If you do get arrested. We need to contact folks on the
>outside to keep pushing for you. It would help if one of them
>would be willing to be a "spokes person" for you. When we send
>out press releases, it helps to have someone to contact locally.
(My fiance and mother are both willing to spokesperson on my
behalf, in the event anything happens.)
>
>
> Dave, keep the faith through this. Carry yourself with
>dignity and respect.
>
> Best regards!
>
> John Murtari
>___________________________________________________________________
>Member Kids-Right.Org
>(315)635-1968,x-211 http://www.kids-right.org/
>
================== NEXT RESPONSE TO DAVID
>From kidsrigh Sun May 16 16:17:42 1999
To: hotshots@tca.net
Subject: Re: Protest in Texas
David,
Got your message. I have included my comments below.
In the future it is better with Email, if you put your comments
in separate paragraphs -- a bit easier to read at this end.
Also, I think I have enough to send out what is happening
to you on our groups mailing list (I will probably send your
original message). Just let me know that is okay.
Please review CAREFULLY the following web page,
http://www.kids-right.org/protest_jm.html
It is what happened to me just recently -- pay
attention to the press releases. We need to start thinking
about how this can be worded for the media. If the Judge
grants you another STAY there is nothing to worry about,
but if not -- how will you resist, how long, what conditions?
We may be able to do a News Release at the same time
you file the papers with the Judge (we can also put those on
the web site -- especially affidavits from supporting people).
That way in the press release we can reference the web site,
and it is easy for the press to find the documents. A story
in the paper might make the Judge think again.
Are there any other organization/groups you belong
to locally that can help?
I recommend you call you lawyer Monday and get him
going on getting all this stuff filed right away. Don't know
your lawyer,but I can tell you a lot of them don't like this.
Once a judge has made up his mind, they just want to leave him
alone -- and they don't want the Judge to get mad at them.
Remember David, do not LIE or CHEAT while you are
getting ready to help your daughter. Don't try to predict
the future either (only God knows what will happen). Just try
to do the right thing, even if it means some personal sacrifice.
Things will work out for the best. You may also see that its
funny the way people are at times like this. Sometimes close
friends don't help at all (or don't even understand), and
strangers do a lot for you. Try not to get upset with anyone
for not helping or caring.
Best regards! Give this all some thought, talk it
over with Lawyer family, and either give me a call tomorrow/tuesday,
or I will try to call you.
John Murtari
___________________________________________________________________
Member Kids-Right.Org
(315)635-1968,x-211 http://www.kids-right.org/
=================== LAST MESSAGE FROM DAVID
>From hotshots@tca.net Mon May 17 20:48 EDT 1999
To: "Kids-Right" <kidsrigh@hammer.thebook.com>
Subject: Re: Protest in Texas
Date: Mon, 17 May 1999 19:54:32 -0500
How you doin? This is David again. I want to tell you first and
formost how much my family and I really appreciate the time and advise you
have offered to try to help us. GOD BLESS YOU!!!
I can't but help but to tell you that things are really starting to
wear on us. We have been fighting for over six months in a system that has
set me up for failure and cost my family what little assets we do have. I
feel so helpless and don't have a clue of what to do. I can not afford to go
to jail like what you had suggested. I work for the dept. of criminal
justice-----I go to jail--I lose my job.
I know that there has to be some way out there to help, we just have
to find it. My daughter is terrified of her mother and no one cares. I'm
wanted to talk to you but do not know your hours or best time to call. I am
in central daylight time and my number is409-348-2521. I am usually at home
at or around 3:30 p. I am becoming so depressed and frustrated.
Thank you again.
David May
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