NonViolent Action - Plans & Checklist
From: Webmaster (webmaster@kids-right.org)
Date: Fri Oct 06 2000 - 13:06:14 EDT
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This message contains information on:
1. Reform Movement - What's Next?
2. NEW - NonViolent Action Checklist
3. Site Registration & Privacy Info
4. NonViolent Action Checklist
1. Reform Movement - What's Next?
___________________________________
Our web site, AKidsRight.Org, has three main action areas.
While the group emphasizes NonViolent Action, there are many
people and groups working in the other areas. They are all
important:
* Court Action -- There is the potential of relief through the
Courts, but it could be a long shot. Many legal professionals
would see our efforts as a threat to the status quo. Few
Judges would want to see citizen jurors interfere with their
authority. The power to change the laws and even the
Constitution of the United States rests with "We the people"
through Legislative action.
* Legislative Action -- Once we see the issue as one of Civil
Rights, it becomes clear that reform should take the form of
Federal Civil Rights legislation. Your right to nurture and
raise your children shouldn't be protected any differently in
Alabama vs. Washington.
You can make a difference here, check our Legislative Action
page (http://www.AKidsRight.Org/legislat.htm) for a "contact
kit." It also contains links to what other people have done.
We need a sponsor for the Family Rights Act, talk to your
Congressional representative.
* Public Action -- These are marches and other forms of
demonstrations. We only recommend peaceful efforts where the
clear goal is equal custody, with Moms and Dads participating.
These efforts encourage publicity (which educates the public
regarding the problem), influence legislators (by showing
voters are concerned), and team building (people are reluctant
to participate in something they feel won't make a difference
-- media coverage helps grow membership and participation).
The strongest form is Non Violent Action, where you are willing
to make personal sacrifice to demonstrate the depth of your
beliefs.
2. NEW - Non Violent Action Checklist
________________________________________
We have put together a checklist to help prepare a parent
considering NonViolent Action. For those of you still
wondering what it is -- it should answer most of your
questions.
It's a new item at the site:
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/checklist.htm. We welcome your
feedback and recommendations.
We have attached the complete text of the checklist to the
bottom of this message.
3. Site Registrations & Privacy Info
________________________________________
Besides the mailing list we have a growing list of people who
have registered with more detailed information. If you would
like to find other members, check our by State listing. If you
are a support or reform group, you can also have a link to your
web site. http://www.AKidsRight.Org/member.php3.
You can control whether your information is posted at the site.
As the counts show, not all registered members have their info
displayed. In those cases we don't release your email address
or other info to anyone. However, if an event is planned for
your area, or someone is trying to organize a group -- we will
send out an email message.
4. NonViolent Action Checklist
________________________________
Checklist for NonViolent Action
-- Discernment --
* Exercise all your legal options - Before considering an action
please make sure you have exhausted all the legal remedies
available to you. If you can appeal, do so. If you have the
money, spend it on a good lawyer (get a referral from a
parent's group in your area). Trust us, when you are sitting
in a jail cell -- the other legal options will look very good!
* Read the history of NonViolent Action, become familiar with
current efforts -- Look at the essays on NonViolent Action at
the web site: http://www.AKidsRight.Org/essays.htm. As a
minimum read the biographies of Martin Luther King and Mahatma
Gandhi. These two books have our highest recommendations --
they will show you how they dealt with the problems you are
about to face.
* Try to approach your former spouse for resolution -- As you go
through the personal preparation prior to taking an action,
you will probably discover changing attitudes within
yourself. Perhaps you weren't just the victim of this whole
mess? Maybe your "ex" is not a fire breathing dragon who
doesn't care about the kids? Maybe you did and said things you
shouldn't have done. Clear your conscience.
Write and apologize. Let them know you just want to be an
equal parent. Maybe you'll be able to make a fresh attempt at
mediation or counseling. Again, jail gives you lots of time
to think, your attempt may not work -- but it is crucial that
you try. If you want to just hold on to the anger, STOP, Non
Violent Action is not for you.
* Prayer & Reflection -- This is about Faith. Your willingness
to sacrifice your personal freedom to call attention to the
unjust loss of your child. Do you have that Faith? Are you
active in the religion of your choice? We all have our doubts,
but are you more a believer than a skeptic? If you can't
answer yes to all these, STOP -- this may not be the right
approach for you at the present time.
* Take a personal inventory -- Could you stand a year in jail?
The discomforts and lack of privacy? If you have prior
military experience you should be fine -- it is much easier
than basic training. Can you keep smiling when bad things
happen to you? Can you control your temper?
-- Preparations and Review --
* Talk to family & friends -- Tell them what you are thinking of
doing. Talk to your lawyer. Listen carefully as they try to
talk you out of it, respond thoughtfully. You don't have to
agree with them, but try to understand why. If you lose your
temper with these people, STOP. You really want to hear all
the "no" arguments now -- believe us, they will all make a lot
more sense when you are behind bars.
* Take care of your finances & property -- Remember, you might
end up in jail for up to a year. Can you afford it? Do you
have people on the outside who can help manage your affairs?
* Your child -- We can only recommend this if you are basically
"cut off" from a real relationship with your child. If you
only have phone/mail contact with them -- it won't change much
from prison. Just remember, you can usually only make collect
calls. You need a friend with three-way calling, some staff
may allow you to make a weekly call to your child using a jail
phone (having a calling card number also).
If you could be missing "visits," try to explain that you are
working so that you can see them more. The focus is "for
them," NOT "anti others." Certainly, don't tell them your
spouse is to blame.
* Contact AKidsRight.Org -- We have people who have been through
what you are about to experience. They can give you valuable
advice. The Group will also be able to help you with News
Release support for publicity and a status page at our web
site. It helps a lot if you have someone locally who knows you
and can act as not only a spokesperson for media contacts, but
also help develop material for News Releases and for our web
site. This is crucial.
-- NonViolent Action --
* Plan your action -- whatever you choose to do it should be
clear that you are trying to call attention to reform. One
technique is to take some white cardstock, app. 14'' x 8".
Fold it like a greeting card and tape a 5 x 7 photo of you and
your children on each side. Draw a heart on the other half.
www.AKidsRight.Org across the bottom. It can be carried
folded.
* Dress for the event -- no T-shirts or jeans, use business
attire. For men that means good slacks, white shirt, and tie.
Wear comfortable shoes or white sneakers -- you usually keep
your footwear in jail. Good dress projects a professional
image and will also get you "better handling" by police.
Remove all your jewelry. If you are arrested it will be
stored by the jail and you don't want to risk losing it. Have
about $50 in cash.
One key thing to bring is a single sheet of paper with names,
addresses, and phone numbers of people you might want to
contact in jail. Keep it in a pocket. Most "jailers" will
pass it through, just tell them it has your lawyers and family
members. Leave a copy with a friend who can mail it to you as
a back-up.
* Do It -- Walk into your public building of choice. After you
are inside just open your card and hold it with one hand above
your head and start your walk. Be quiet and smile. Remember,
don't speak unless spoken to. Your actions will speak much
louder than words. Here is what you can expect from actual
incidents:
* Security staff will approach you and tell you the conduct is
not allowed. Your answer, with a smile, "I'm just walking,
just exercising free speech and the right to petition to my
government." THESE ARE VERY IMPORTANT WORDS. You are not
protesting, demonstrating, picketing or loitering.
* Staff will then tell you, "you should go outside like everyone
else does, what makes you think you're special? Your answer,
"What I'm doing is different, I just want to do it here. I'm
not bothering anyone."
* At some point you will be threatened with arrest. Don't argue
with them, they are just doing their jobs.
* You will be asked, Why are you doing this? "I belong to a
group working for Family Law Reform & Civil Rights. All I'm
trying to do is get the chance to be an equal parent to my
children whom I love very much. We are trying to get a Family
Rights Act passed." DO NOT talk about child support, how bad
judges/lawyers are, or what a bad spouse you had. The message
is one of LOVE.
* Some staff will get angry with you and slander you. What you
are doing is stupid, do you think being jailed is going to
help you see your kids. This won't work ... Quietly and with
a smile, "Well, you may be right,, but I really think this
will make a difference."
* Once they put you under arrest, cooperate as best you can.
After completing the arrest report (you will probably be
charged with trespass), you may be surprised when they get
ready to release you and give you an "appearance ticket,"
e.g. trespass is almost like a speeding ticket, it doesn't
require you be jailed. TV celebrities get the "hand cuffs"
put on and then walk out a short while later.
Respectfully let the officer know you will go right back if
released.
* DO NOT PAY ANY BAIL. Bail is basically a guarantee that you
will appear for trial. You should simply be ROR'd (Released
On your own Recognizance). You are an honorable person,
obviously you will make all Court dates. Since there is
nothing wrong with what you are doing -- you won't delay in
going back. Don't make any promises, other than to be
peaceful & polite!
* The Effect/Real Example -- People will initially see you as a
threat, as another radical protester -- not as a fellow parent
struggling for your children. Your positive message and
peaceful demeanor will help them change those attitudes. Not
all, but many will certainly come to respect you. For a
detailed example please examine a recent effort by John
Murtari and the response of staff both at a County Courthouse
& Federal Building. The URL is
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/protest_dm.htm.
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