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[AKidsRight.Org] Discipline of Lent: Why should we cry as parents? / Lowell Jaks arrested.
From: John Murtari (jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org)
This is a message from the AKidsRight.Org mailing list. Unsubscribe instructions at bottom of message. ======================================= Good People & People of Faith, The last message was about Faith and Sacrifice and what is needed to change people's hearts? I mentioned some of the Civil Rights movements of the past and asked, "What about us as parents? What should we be willing to sacrifice?" I hoped to have some answers to share with you -- but I don't. History seems very clear about the struggle and effort involved in getting a "BIG right" recognized... Are we ready to sacrifice for the "right" to be parents to our own children? Do we even know what sacrifice means? I'm afraid a lot of people see it as a "contract", I do this & I get that - OR - I've already been beat up the system, isn't that sacrifice - OR - my kids have suffered, surely that is sacrifice enough? If I asked YOU, a parent, would you step in front of a bullet to save the life of your child? Yes or No? Sound pretty easy? Now how about if I tell you there is only a 10% chance that bullet will kill your child, but if you step in the way, a 100% chance you will die. Now what about that??? Easy? Need more time to think, maybe you need some more information? Bullets travel pretty fast! Sacrifice, it is what we are willing to give up (and it is gone) for something we feel is of greater value (with no guarantee of receiving). ----------- "Sacrifice - Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all. You just might bring Success to those who outlast you." http://www.despair.com/sacrifice.html What Mental Attitude -------------------- What attitude do we have? I'm a lector at my local church. At the beginning of Lent I did the reading, it started with a good line: "Even now, says the Lord, return to me with your whole heart, with fasting, and weeping, and mourning..." Joel 2:12 How many of us have cried and mourned over our kids? But that is not what is called for. How many of us have cried for ourselves when the indignity and the pain we've been though was just too much? But that is not it either. What returns us to God -- returns us to reality? The realization of how much pain we have caused by our own faults. The times we acted without Faith, Love, or Hope. When we took the easy way out. If you read some of the stories on our Hall of Shame page, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/shame.htm -- do you wonder how they (us) got started -- more interested in getting our "groins tickled" than in creating a child? We didn't realize what he had -- until it was gone..... I once did some lobbying with a single parent who had lost a teenage daughter to Child Protective services. The parent had called social services for help with a 'wild' child, and the social workers took the side of the child.... As we lobbied the parent would explain that their daughter's 'wild' nature was some genetic inheritance from the other parent (who was VERY undisciplined!). Later as we talked I discovered their child was a 'latch key' kid. The parent took a job hours out of town for more money, but the child came back to an empty home after school..... Could that have had anything to do with it I asked? An explosion -- "don't even go there," I was told. Imagine that! Which of us cannot look back with that perfect 20/20 hindsight -- and have ideas for a happier ending? Fast, and weep, and mourn -- EMBRACE your faults and failings. Your imperfectness, your humanity. I'll be very honest -- it has made all the difference in the world for me. When I reflected on my own 'stupidity' and felt forgiven, I certainly was more accepting of what others did. I got past that hurdle and it gave me the confidence to act and to risk a small amount of sacrifice. But please -- this is not a "guilt trip." The prophet does not call us to despair or defeatism.... --------- "Defeat - For every Winner, there are dozens of Losers. Odds are -- you're one of them" -- http://www.despair.com/demotivators/def24x30prin.html Don't you love the above line! Don't you secretly know it's true? Why try so hard for reform, why sacrifice? It's not going to matter. The dirty ba$tards will win in the end! But having faults and failings alone does NOT make us a bad person. We are human. We fast, we weep, we mourn -- we acknowledge the POWER we had to make things better, but didn't use. Hopefully, as we embrace our failings, our hearts broaden to those 'dirty ba$tards' also.... our former spouse or the Judge was not perfect either-- is that news? That is the other funny thing in the Hall of Shame, almost every NCP (Non Custodial Parent) is in anguish, and what is the solution? Make the other parent an NCP -- they TRULY deserve it. We are so 'perfect.' Focus on the REAL problem ------------------------- If the problem is "bad people", we get rid of the bad people and the system works as designed -- but hopefully most of us agree what we have is a "bad system" -- which makes good people do bad things. A brief news item: ---- From Wilbur Streett <wstreett@monmouth.com> News from the San Joaquin Valley Associated Press Posted on Wed, Mar. 17, 2004 BAKERSFIELD, Calif. (AP) - A parents' rights advocate from Ridgecrest has pleaded innocent to charges of child stealing. Lowell Anton Jaks, 52, was arrested Feb. 27 in the Dominican Republic on a $100,000 warrant. He entered his plea Tuesday and is due back in Kern County Superior Court on March 29. Authorities alleges Jaks took his 10-year-old son, Alec Jaks, as the boy was riding his bicycle to school. Jaks founded the nonprofit Alliance for Non-Custodial Parents Rights in 1994. ------------------------------ What about Lowell? When he took "his" child, was he thinking about the pain it might cause his former spouse? She deserved it! What a stupid and foolish thing to do -- an action without Faith, Hope or Love -- desperation. What happens now, more separation, jail time, MORE pain for his child. Is Lowell a bad man - NO! Is he a bad parent - NO! Perhaps many of us have thought about doing the same thing at times, but didn't. Not because we were any 'better' -- but because we were just cowards. His actions probably can't be defended (I don't know all the details), but they should motivate each of us to fix this system of ours that makes parents do crazy things like this. And obviously the "crazy" things just don't include Lowell, but probably his former spouse who found advantage in the 'system' of playing 'keep away' with their child. Who also didn't recognize the value of Lowell to their child.... what an awful system! Is any of this in the "child's best interest?" Faith ----- The readings for that day ended with another great line: "In an acceptable time I heard you and on the day of salvation I helped you. Behold, now is the VERY acceptable time, behold, now is the day of salvation." 2 Corinthians 6:2 YOU want to see change happen and quickly. We can change hearts by showing OUR willingness to sacrifice to regain our right to be an EQUAL parent to our children. There is another route, and as they say, "it is broad and well traveled." The media seems fascinated with suicide bombers (actually murder/suicide bombers). They make it sound like sacrifice, but it's no great act to take your enemy with you.... You can always lash out in anger, hurt a few other people first, and THEN make your so-called sacrifice..... I don't have a doubt if we got a few thousands parents in a loud demonstration, some would love to riot, roll over cars, break windows -- GET SOME MEDIA ATTENTION. Then, spend some time behind bars -- it was worth it!!!! P.S. Tomorrow I fly out west to pick up my Son Domenic and return here for a week of Spring break together. We are both looking forward to it. Then, April 1st (no fooling), I'll return to the Federal Building and some jail time. http://www.AKidsRIght.Org/actionc_syr John Murtari ____________________________________________________________________ Coordinator AKidsRight.Org jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents" Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211) http://www.AKidsRight.Org/ ======================================= Newsletter mailing list Newsletter@kids-right.org subscribe/unsubscribe info below: http://kids-right.org/mailman/listinfo/newsletter
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