[AKidsRight.Org] June 17th - Super Heros needed / Report: March to Parliament / Your FEEDBACK on EQUAL parenting.

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This message contains info on:
1. June 17th -- Super Heroes help parents visit offices of Senator Clinton
2. March to Parliament - a report.
3. Virtual Visitation - can you hug your child through an LCD?
4. Your FEEDBACK - on EQUAL parenting.

We like the 'imagery' of Super Heroes for Family Law Reform, but
perhaps we need to 'fine tune' our efforts?  Super Heroes don't just
call attention to themselves, but more directly act to protect the
week and helpless.

What better effort than to 'watch' over a gathering of parents and
also help present reform petitions to our national politicians?  A
beautiful photo op!

1. June 17th -- Super Heroes help parents visit offices of Senator Clinton
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ A Press release we hope to make a reality - with your help!  Would you
like to be a REAL Super Hero for a day? - Ed.]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - Hanley Federal Building, Syracuse, New York

A group of obviously loving mothers and fathers gathered outside the
Syracuse Federal Building on the Friday before Father's Day.  They all
carried pictures of their children and told painful stories of how
they had been separated from children they love through either
divorce, separation, or the action of Social Services.

Two 'Super Heroes' stood watch over the gathering, both Superman and
Wonder Woman were in attendance.  They also had stories to tell of
being 'powerless' to save their own relationship with their kids.

The group members then quietly walked up stairs, under the watchful
eye of their Super Hero escorts.  They visited the offices of Senator
Clinton and presented their stories and petitions for reform.  They
would like her to meet personally with them and to call for
Congressional Hearings to investigate the need for fundamental reform.

The group seeks the Senators help in National reform.  In getting what
they feel is a GREAT Civil Right recognized and protected in all the
United States.  The right to be a fit & equal parent to your own
children -- unless convicted of being a demonstrated serious threat to
in a criminal court.  ## END ##

John Murtari is trying to coordinate this effort.  It is really very
simple, but we think it is sure to bring a lot of press coverage and
may be the last effort we need to bring Senator Clinton to a meeting
with us.  We just need a mother and father who can take a day off,
rent/make a costume, and come to Syracuse.  You can be any Super Hero
you like! 

Check the web site for more background,
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/actionc_syr and contact John Murtari
directly if you can participate: jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org, office:
877-635-1968, x-211

2. March to Parliament - a report.
---------------------------------
[ For our original message on this event see:
http://www.kids-right.org/archive/archive2005/0029.html ]

Submitted by : "Wayne Cook" <waynevcook@rogers.com>

Hello Friends,

Yesterday, we meet with Roger Gallaway for 2 hours! His insight will
help us plan our future direction. We need to rethink our approach and
strategy.

The "March to Ottawa" ended near downtown Ottawa, late yesterday.
This morning, Barry and I completed the last few miles together, from
Dows Lake to Parliament Hill.

At 10:00 a.m. Hon. Jim Karygiannis, allowed us to meet for an hour
(picture will be posted in a few days).  Jim Karygiannis provided
Hon. Irwin Cotler, with a "Kids & Dad" T- Shirt and our media, and
Fact Sheets. This was done, just outside the House of Commons.

CTV News at Noon, did a 1 minute live studio interview on the 1997
"For the Sake of the Children" report.  On Parliament Hill, CTV again
interviewed Hon. Jim Karygiannis, Barry Lillie, myself and several
children. This was broadcast in Ottawa, Kitchener and Toronto, on the
6 p.m. news.  It may be rebroadcast again at 11:00 p.m.

If anyone catches it, I believe I heard Hon. Jim Karygiannis stated
that he would introduce a Bill into the House of Commons giving
children the equal right to both parents! A copy of this would be
appreciated, especially if he did agree to support the "Father's
Movement" by introducing new legislation. This would be a HUGE
breakthrough for children and families! If, we have made a new
"friend", then the entire "March to Ottawa" was worthwhile.

We attended at the Senate of Canada, and provided Conservative Senator
Cools office with a "Kid n Dad" T-Shirt, and a copy of all the media
coverage, and background material from the past 2 weeks.  In addition,
we meet with staff from Conservative M.P. Stockwell Day's office and
did the same.

Most M.P.'s were in the House of Commons for Question Period.  The
Ottawa Citizen interviewed Barry Lillie, and we would appreciate a
copy from anyone in Ottawa.  Any media coverage you find should be
posted to the board.  A further report will be posted by Barry Lillie.

3. Virtual Visitation - can you hug your child through an LCD?
--------------------------------------------------------------
[ Dr. Malcolm Hatfield, M.D., has been a long time member of the
group and very active in Wisconsin.  You can read his story at:
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/shame3.htm#hatfield ]

Submitted by: <hatfield@pol.net>

Attached is another of his published letters regarding virtual
visitation....  Image of letter to the editor:
http://www.AKidsRight.org/images/virtual.jpg

In speaking to Mr. Gough, the main person behind the virtual
visitation bill, he believes (and so do I) that legislation is needed
to preempt the courts from allowing virtual visitation to replace
parenting time.

Mr. Gough has said the following:

> "In Lee vs. Lee the NJ. Appellate Court over-ruled the lower court
> and allowed the mother to relocate to CA. saying "the lower court
> did NOT take into account the creative and innovative solution of
> Virtual Visitation"

> New Jersey is now "permanently screwed" because they did NOT have
> legislation saying they could NOT do this.  Now EVERY father has NO
> DEFENSE for a move-away containing Virtual Visitation in New Jersey.

> Do you want Wisconsin to be next ?

> Once the court makes this kind of determination - GAME OVER.

> We are trying to prevent this - too bad you don't understand this.
> Children in New Jersey just had move-away justification go up a
> notch.  This is VERY bad news.

4. Your FEEDBACK - on EQUAL parenting
-------------------------------------
For our most recent list messages see:
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/archives/archive2005

--- "Denis Van Decker" <djrvd@yahoo.com>

> Being a parent has a distinct legal status.   

> I think the concept of a relationship is much more watered down and
> wishy washy.  Also judgment of what is a valid "equal relationship"
> is subjective and if you are not careful it will be the custodial
> parent and the courts deciding that an NCP does in fact have an
> equal relationship ("but different") for many forms of shared
> parenting that pale in comparison.

> I can give you one M&M from my bag and I will have "shared" my bag
> of candy with you and we both have a "relationship" with the M&M's.

> If you are an equal parent you will have an equal relationship.

> The presumption to Equal Parenting is the key concept amongst all
> family law reformers agenda around the world and I was suggesting
> you also keep it as the central concept of the work you are doing.

Yes, I think we have the same goal.  An equal parent has equal time
with their child.  Shared parenting is a bad term for the reasons you
mention, and whether you say equal parenting or an equal relationship,
you probably have to add the qualifier "equal time" and equal legal
responsibility regarding your child

--- Riverae6955@aol.com

> WOW!!

> What you had pointed out and the example you had used was excellent.
> You are right!! We should have the right to be presumed innocent,
> keep that bond with our child and have the right too a trial with a
> jury of our peers before any drastic changes are enforced. You gave
> me more inspiration to stay strong and believe that something good
> will have to come out of this. 

> I guess I failed to realize that there are so many families facing
> the same dilemma. But if we can keep each other strong to continue
> to make efforts to make that contact with the right people so that
> changes can be made for the sake of parents and their children.

> This is very hard to have to go through. I don't wish this on my
> worst enemy. I just can't understand why this had too happen to me &
> my children.

> Please continue to inspire me!!!

--- Stefano Genovese <genovese@onetel.net> http://www.genovese.cwc.net/

> as regards some poli-tricksters or trick cyclists(psycho-baboons) of
> whatever party and family law: children and families are not
> important. We the People must drive it home to them that we fathers
> and our children are important.

> Unfortunately Senator Clinton and her party seem to have lost their
> way. A new road map will to be found for them on these basis issues.
> God Bless you John and Dom,

---  Bill Brantmeyer <daklane2000@yahoo.com>

> In closing, how one-sided can a courts rulings be?  How can a
> court/state hold one's children hostage and the ransom being the
> parent conforming to the desires of the favored parent?  What
> constitutes cruel and unusual punishment?  In a country as great as
> ours, in the times that we live in, how can this go on?  Does this
> not seem barbaric? I can only see this as state supported
> kidnapping.

> The greatest travesty of justice in America today is that which takes
> place in the family court system.

You wrote a great letter here. Sounds like you and your kids have been
through the ringer and what has happened to your sons is insane.  It
is an awful system and it needs to be changed.

I do think I can provide an answer to why? And since you have been on
our mailing list, I think you know what I am going to say.

What are you, Bill Brantmeyer, willing to do?  Nevermind what would do
if a hundred or thousand people joined you -- what are you willing to
do alone.  What are you willing to sacrifice to see change happen?  Do
you have the Faith any individual sacrifice you have will matter?
When it becomes the MOST IMPORTANT THING (even ahead of a house and
car payments) -- then we start to convince others how bad it really
is.....

--- CasseStar@aol.com

> Re: AB 1307 - CALIFORNIA shared parenting bill - (denied this time
> around, too many big wigs, Judge's Association (no proof of course),
> NOW (OPPOSED), etc.  Leszek and I had some ideas you could gleam
> from if you like.  It is powerful to know the 'other side' since
> there is so much about dom. violence and abuse which everyone must
> err on the side of caution.  It's not about that - it's about the
> child's rights for both parents, if there is abuse, let the evidence
> show itself.

Yes, you are right about needing evidence.  The 'simple' standard we
have at the web site, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/approach.htm, is that
you are an EQUAL & FIT parent unless convicted in a 'criminal' court of
acting with malintent and being a demonstrated serious threat to the
safety of your kids. You get counsel, and the protection of unanimous
jury verdict.  It would have nothing to do with your relationship with
your former spouse, only about you and your children.

> Other issues include: There must be stronger enforcement of the law
> for the real troublemakers - abusers who get away with breaking
> codes at exchanges, etc..  The 'abuser' must know when they marry
> that because of the lies, intimidation, they won't get the kids and
> the court/law will make them pay money for custody; they should know
> that when they're late for a child exchange or frustrate visitation;
> or make false allegations of abuse or neglect, that they will be
> marginalized for a minimum, say, of 18 mo or (something to make them
> accountable).

Don't know if I can agree, runs counter to above.  Are we using kids
to 'punish' the other parent?  Don't we encourage the 'appearance' of
such conflict when you can block out the other parent?

> This is a good question/topic for Sen. Hillary Clinton: Please let's
> change the focus here, since part of the problem is that the courts
> or lawyers, judges are not really enforcing the law -- its alot of
> wallpaper (smoke and mirrors?). Ask the courts to ask how many times
> parents are sanctioned for false allegations or frustration of
> visitation. I have not heard of these cases who are about going
> against court orders and family code.  Usually the parents who use
> the system to gain custody, etc. are protected somehow or hide the
> abuses of false allegations or frustration of visits, etc..

> If abusing, accuse that parent of frustration of visits.  f abusive,
> take it to court with the evidence.  No life is ideal, don't know
> always what's best for the child, don't know their destiny. However,
> the intrusion of the court and legal system has far more potential
> danger than anything else. Child abuse / neglect is a crime like any
> other crime.

> Question arises: how can one prove abuse in this court system? I
> have a problem faced with ex-spouse where the burden is on me to
> prove I was attacked in front of the children. It's totally
> reversed. Yet, even if I win the case, she walks away laughing, get
> a claim(which I can't collect perhaps), not in jail or a fine.

You should have been an EQUAL parent.  If the other parent interferes
with that, or does not bring the child, they are violating the law and
should be punished (jailed/fined).  We still no not deprive them of
equality.  Once someone is punished once and seen there is no
'reward', it is doubtful the behavior would continue.

> The family court laws have no teeth, and the lawyers know it and are
> willing to tell clients, do this and that and you won't get
> caught. Their plan is that this will make it really rough on
> him/her.  Learn how to make the allegations and set fathers up
> (mothers sometimes).

> This is my only daughter, and I happen to be 100% innocent. it was a
> fraudulent thing of losing total custody and contact and I was
> told/asked to eat sh--, like a person in a concentration camp: there
> was very little way out; can make the time short or longer on the
> hopes that the doors will open; can sit and suffer on the daily
> basis or attack a person and get shot right away.

> The rationale to accept this separation is that my daughter's
> half-brother, Christian survived (Juvenile delinquent, high school
> drop out, etc. -- all ignored) and he will do what he
> does... Allaura could become a girl's version of him.  At least for
> seven years of her life, she maintained a close relationship with
> her Dadden, but the mother still successfully attacked me and I was
> not aggressive in my nature, just resilient.  Even though we always
> reconnected and overcame the painful separations, my daughter lived
> with insecurity throughout her early life from her mom's repeated
> actions and attacks. It's sad for her and sad for us; and the idea
> of rising above it -- move on, is a difficult one to accept.

Yes, it is a terrible thing!  It hurts our children and the system
needs to change.

> Maybe it's like being somebody burning in a smoking house, or
> breaking the windows and try to go in to do something.  The thing is
> that Ms.  Nugent (the child's attorney) controls all the
> information; we are not allowed to have the information except to
> defend what they say.  There is NO ACCESS to our daughter whatsoever
> -- they have it all. They report what Allaura wants, we have no say,
> and the information is totally one-sided.  The mother and child's
> attorney, Nugent, has all the information and "rights" (power? 
> rank?)  and we have none, no phone call, not even short cause trials
> allowed (all denied), nothing.

> On the other hand, all the child's statements are secretive, nothing
> video-taped, audio-taped, and any access to Allaura is utterly in
> the control of the child's attorney and her cronies. How can a man
> fight a battle like that?  This law is not being followed is all you
> can say.  That's alot different from talking to Allaura, her teacher
> (who was also denied as a live witness), her school mates, this
> person, her doctor - this is the picture we are getting. This would
> be a position of strength and reality. They make the fantasies into
> a reality, that reality is that Father and his family are dangerous
> and not allowed to this kid. Hearsay from the beginning, and
> perpetrated from there for years now.  Judge believes that the
> child's attorney proved that we harmed our daughter (with no
> evidence but her declaration).  It was completed, and there are no
> parental rights.  No adjudication.

Yes, all the secret stuff should be absolutely prohibited.  Again,
anything that is going to result in a parent being found UNFIT will be
done in a criminal Court with criminal standards, no secret testimony.
The things they do in Family Court with judges interviewing kids
privately, or 'law guardians' submitting reports is unbelievable.

-------------------
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