[AKidsRight.Org] NonViolent Action works? / Your FEEDBACK on the week.

jmurtari@AKidsRight.org

Good People & People of Faith,

The FEEDBACK below recaps your thoughts to the events of this week.
It has been an emotional roller coaster.  As soon as I know of another
Court date I will let you know.  You should see info soon on how we
will respond to the Judges recusal.  Please wait for that.
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/support_jm.htm

How many of you have been through it yourselves.  You work, you
prepare, you hope, and you pray about the next Court appearance.  You
go in -- and nothing, a delay, and very often -- things are even
worse....it chews at your insides.

"Pain that is not transformed will be transmitted" -- Fr. Richard Rohr

You don't hear it as often now, but for many of us this is "Holy
Week".  A time to recall the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus
of Nazareth.  For those of us who don't believe, there may be much to
be learned in his willingness to embrace his passion & death.

What are we doing with the pain we carry?  What has it done to us?
Have we transformed our pain into positive action? Or is our pain
coming out of us as hatred, anger and a desire for revenge?

By now, we should all know the NonViolent Action our Group talks
about: is not nonviolence, is not civil disobedience.  It is about us
transforming one of the greatest pains a person can carry -- being
separated from your kids -- into a loving and personal self sacrifice
to transform those observers around us.
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/approach.htm

Does it Work?
-------------
By now, we should begin to see that maybe this stuff does work.
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/events.htm

* Imagine a strict City Court Judge actually upholding your right to
quietly walk the halls of Family Court carrying a picture of you and
your child, and the message "I LOVE YOU".  Ordering security staff
NOT to arrest you any more.

* Imagine Federal Prosecutors, the United State Attorney, being so
unwilling to prosecute you -- that at least two members of security
staff are dedicated to simply blocking your access to a Federal
Building?  Imagine repeatedly writing "I LOVE YOU" with chalk on the
walls of a Federal Building -- and security does not arrest you --
they just take your chalk away.

* Imagine being prosecuted for driving without a license, but asking the
Judge and County DA to prosecute you for 100 more occasions of doing
the same thing.  Of walking into the trial and saying, "I drove here
today, my car is parked outside, and if you don't send me to jail --
I'm going to drive home"  They just give you a fine, you drive home.

* At the personal level.  Seeing police and others who initially
ridiculed and insulted you for your actions, coming up to you, to
shake your hand and say, "I really respect you and what you are doing
-- your kids going to always know how much you loved him..."

Reality check & Your help
-------------------------
Many of us ask (and perhaps hide behind), what can I do?  I'm just
one?  Well, I had really hoped a few folks would show up in Court on
Monday with me. Would take the time just to be there and give a
handshake, a smile, a thumbs up!  Nobody bothered to come.

Most of my actions have been alone.  I've been arrested alone,
arraigned alone, and jailed alone. Please, I'm not crying here.  I
understand how it is.  Quite frankly, if I heard one of you was doing
this in Pennsylvania, and I didn't know you well, I'm not sure if I
would take the time to see you... Oh, and even though no one has come
in person, many of you have phoned and written officials -- that has
been great!  Have written me in jail, sent money -- thank you!

But I think the day is coming when more people are there.  But can you
act alone?  Should you act alone?  If you have Faith in God and the
power of your love for your kids -- yes.

Things may change soon.  Many of you remember Cathy Hughes, a mother
who joined me in NonViolent Action outside the Federal Building.
Joined me in taking a piece of chalk and writing "I LOVE YOU" to her
kids on the ground while security watched.  Willing to be cuffed and
jailed.  We got on TV that day.  I'm sure Senator Clinton's staff was
paying close attention.  http://www.AKidsRight.Org/video.html

All we need to get that meeting with Senator Clinton and national
recognition of the need for serious reform, is another mother and
father willing to join the effort.  The arrest of three people would
bring that News Coverage, and would bring Senator Clinton to us.

When will that happen -- when each of us begins to realize that the
GREAT RIGHT I have to parent my own children is the most important
thing in life.  That is what GREAT RIGHTS are.  When we are ready to
act that way -- other people will believe us.  Want to talk about it,
call me, 877-625-1968,x-211, email me: jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org

Your FEEDBACK - noncooperation -------------------------------

--- Tony <cptttaylor@hotmail.com>

> I did a hunger strike in jail...  There are a lot more effective
> things than hunger strikes

This is not a hunger strike, I want 'them' to take care of me and feed
me.  We'll see what happens.

--- "Jeremy Swanson" <swanson@storm.ca>

> My thoughts and earnest prayers are with you today John. God Bless
> you and your son. And God Damn the evil of the family court.

> Don't let them lead you away. Do what you said. Lie down on the
> floor and let them take you away. And I wouldn't eat anymore
> either. Do what you have to do Bud. To hell with them.

I'm not sure I want to send them to Hell, but I do want to convince
them (and other people watching this), how much I love my son.

--- Sonja <wiseclock2@sbcglobal.net>

> What on earth have they done to you? I don't know your case at all,
> but something sounds wrong. I hope you don't have to go through what
> your talking about here.

... It seems like such a crazy thing to have to do -- but how crazy is
it when we accept just being cut off from our kids, and told 'just
send money'?  That 'money' will fulfill your obligation to 'support'
your kids.  What about being able to hug them, give them your love,
let them see the example of your life?

--- Melissa Moore <missmel3315@sbcglobal.net>

> Gee I wonder what your ex wife feels about this and how it must be
> tormenting your child.  He may seem to understand but then again he
> is a child and IMO (In My Opinion) you are mentally abusing him.
> Get off your high horse and find a compromise instead of trying to
> be a martyr.

... I love my son very much and try to keep him out of this junk as
much as possible.  I don't own a 'high horse', but I have in the past
tried to reach out to my former spouse and get some kind of
compromise.  I write her a personal note about once/year just trying
to get past all the divorce stuff, and can we please just be Civil for
Dom's sake.  I have never gotten a reply.  I don't really blame her,
the 'system' makes it easy to do that.  You want to keep your kid, you
want to get all the money -- don't communicate with your former
spouse.

Oh, and I am not trying to be a Martyr.  I'm just trying to forcefully
say I have been treated unjustly.  To be a loving parent and actually
be thrown in jail for half a year?

--- "Greg Fischer" <perfect100@hotmail.com>

> I don't think that one more dead guy makes any difference, I have
> thousands of dead guys on lists.  I don't think it makes a
> difference to commit suicide by court (or by judge) and it never
> makes the front page.  Some people that are opposed to shared
> parenting will actually think that it is a good idea that you are
> dead; that make you one less possible opponent.  How about we help
> you run for office or you help someone else or learn more about the
> law?

> ... That you feel enough for some higher cause to sacrifice yourself
> is powerful.  There are so many that feel their elected office gives
> them the opportunity to sacrifice others (and perhaps you or your
> son when he gets to draft age or otherwise.)  How would you feel
> about running for their office or helping another run for their
> office?

Thanks for taking the time to write.  I know many parents do literally
go for suicide or just descend into anger and give up.  This is not
about that at all.  Like you say, I have cherished every moment with
Dom, and I was really glad he was here with me last week.

I have seen your messages on lobbying, and they make a lot of sense.
We need to do those things.  But at the same time, some folks need to
take powerful public action -- that is the history of NonViolent
Action.  I'm sure you know most of the 'share parenting' laws are very
weak and may not change much.

I've talked to legislators, and to get a Family Rights Act passed --
there needs to be a 'sea change' in how the public thinks about the
issue.  The same change that was needed before the Civil Rights Act
was passed.

--- "David Hyatt" <dhyatt@columbus.rr.com>

> I admire your commitment and I may be following your lead shortly.
> My story is like so many others, I have been challenging what I
> believe to be a corruption of human rights and losing for 18 years.
> We all know the game and it has to change.  The only way to bring
> change is to bring attention to it, and each and every victim is a
> potential activist....

> Before becoming a parent I was lucky to have traveled a lot, living
> abroad (in the military and as an overpaid civilian) and I dreamed
> of one day sharing with my children my love of travel and foreign
> cultures.  I could go on but you already know so much of what I
> would say, and how I learned to accept what could not be.  I am now
> a cash cow, earning real money to feed into a corrupt system that
> artificially generates riches from my efforts.  I even started my
> own business (named after my daughter to try to make it and it was
> ultimately used as a means to further victimize me.

> I lost my mother just a couple years ago, she was a victim, too,
> because she dearly loved my children, and they her.  She never
> understood how such injustice could be allowed to happen.  Perhaps
> she did not want to admit that such greed could really exist.

Sorry to hear all that and I know what you mean.  "Support" means give
us the money -- we don't want you.  It is disgusting.  Very sorry to
hear about your mom.  I was very fortunate to get a least reasonable
blocks of time with Domenic (can you imagine six solid weeks in the
summer) -- so he, my mom, and I could have happy times together.  You
almost forgot you were separated by the system.

> Starting with a fraudulently "calculated" child $support order and a lot of
> creative accounting backed by a "one way" legal system (one month I was
> assessed a $44,000 penalty on child $upport arrearages) I am now considered
> to be nearly $200,000 in arrears.  This is with an income withholding order
> in place.  I am being assessed interest of nearly $1000 each month.  I get
> angry when I hear "it's for the children."

Boy, that is amazing.  If you wish you are welcome to post your story
at our Hall of Shame page, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/shame.htm

> I have had income imputed, been jailed, bank accounts seized,
> discharged from employment for owing child $upport, wages garnished,
> tax refunds intercepted, a previously pristine credit rating
> destroyed, denied life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  What
> could be worse?  The real tragedy is the effect it has had on the
> lives of my children.  No children, mine, yours, anyone's, need
> suffer this way.

> I know your faith and convictions will see you through this ordeal.
> All the best to you, my friend.

Your FEEDBACK - Judge recusal
-----------------------------

--- Fran <GFGriner@aol.com>

> I had a feeling he would side step this, since there had been
> publicity.  They like to do things behind closed doors and not be
> exposed!!  Fran

--- John Fleming <johnflemingmps@yahoo.com>

> With each new judge, mention "AKidsRight.Org" web site and say
> negative comments about each new judge, it can last forever.

Thanks for writing, but I think you know what is not my style.  It was
very troubling that he tried to blame my conduct for his unwillingness
to proceed (which I think was for political reasons).  He could have
just said, "I have strong feelings about this case and don't think I
can make a fair ruling".... I could have accepted that, but to
actually lie about the website and my conduct?

--- Glenn <cheriton@rogers.com>

> I suggest, John, that you think of the judge's recussal as a
> victory.  Perhaps not a big victory, but one nevertheless. You have
> been very moderate and reasonable and that has provoked an
> overreaction on the other side. That is the job of the
> activist. Furthermore, I view the delay and their need to come up
> with another judge as "sand in their gears." Anything non-violent
> which costs them time, effort and money makes the system less
> tenable. I wish I could be there with you, or send money, but we in
> Canada have our own fight, so we will have to be there in spirit. I
> admire your struggle and appreciate the stress. Glenn, Ottawa,
> Canada

--- brad <brad@bradkemp.com>

> The judge ought to be slandered on the web site if he's not already.
> The guards at Auschwitz are always "just following orders," but they
> CHOOSE to become the evil monsters who destroy the lives of men and
> children.  He is evil in Satan's black robes.

Thanks for taking the time to write.  Everyone deserves to be treated
with dignity, respect & compassion.  It doesn't mean we ignore your
actions, or that we won't punish you -- but we won't demean you as
less of a human being.  I experienced that in a jail once,
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/gerbil_cage.htm

If we want God's blessing, then we have to act as brothers & sisters,
we may call them out if they are wrong, but we remember our kinship,
and always hope they will have a change of heart.

The Judge is certainly not evil or Satan, just doing a difficult job
for anyone, and one where 'we' gave him too much power over the small
details of family life.  Those laws need to change.

I do thank you for the words of support.  If only a few more parents
would become active with me, I think we would really see some media
coverage.

--- Mike Little <mnlittle@prodigy.net>

> Good for you!  However, let me say that this stinks of how these
> people take care of each other.  In order to not allow you to make a
> political issue of this matter with judge Klim they have transferred
> it to another judge who has already made up his mind what he's going
> to do.  So keep fighting them.  Don't expect a new judge to be
> better than Klim was.  My two cents.  Mike Little

Thanks again for writing.  Yes, I don't like it being turned into a
game.  On the other hand, I think it does show some of the strength of
NonViolent Action, they can't find anything 'real' to argue with, so
they make stuff up.

--- Deborah <DLP4010@aol.com>

> I have WRITTEN YOU A FEW TIMES OVER THE YEARS. OUT HERE IN MARIN
> COUNTY CALIFORNIA WE HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING, BUT OUR COURT HAS A
> PRESIDING JUDGE WITH A CLUB IN FAMILY COURT APTLY CALLED THE
> FLEAS. FAMILY LAW ELITE ATTORNEYS.

> I FOUGHT ALONG WITH MANY OTHERS FOR 11 YEARS, NEVER DID ANYTHING
> EXCEPT MARRY THE WRONG PERSON WITH MONEY THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT. I
> HAVE GIVEN UP MY LIFE AND NOW A CORRUPT EVALUATOR STATES MY SON IS
> ALIENATED SO BADLY BY MY FORMER HUSBAND THAT LANDON SHOULDN'T SEE
> ME.

> I REALIZE MOST WOMAN GET AND DO TERRIBLE THINGS TO MEN, BUT PLEASE
> KNOW SO MANY WOMEN HAVE LOST THEIR CHILDREN AND THEIR LIVES. I AM
> NOW TOO BEAT UP TO EVEN GET A JOB, AND MY FORMER HAS BLACKLISTED ME.

> THEY FINALLY ORDERED ME WITHOUT A DIME TO PAY HIM CHILD
> SUPPORT. HERE WITHOUT PAYING YOU CAN'T WORK OR GET A CAR
> REGISTRATION.

I do agree that Family Court can become a little 'club', and that is
part of the problem I am fighting here.  VERY sorry to hear about what
happened with you and your son, what a tragedy.

---  "Mike Carusi" <mcarusi@charter.net>

> John, you say 'Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity,
> respect, & compassion.'.  Well you're a better man than me.  I think
> that those who rip your family apart not only don't deserve respect
> but deserve the worst that God can do to them.  I want each and
> every one of them to fry in Hell, and if I could treat them like
> trash without fear of repercussion, I would do so everyday.

Well, maybe I didn't always feel that way till I was on the receiving
end in a terrible jail.  If you have time read this message:
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/gerbil_cage.htm

As a person of Faith, everybody deserves to be treated as a human
being -- BUT, that doesn't mean you don't get punished if you do
something wrong -- many times we can't separate the two.

I think you may have seen my follow-up message on Judge Klim, I'm not
going to 'sugar coat' what he did -- because that would be a lie.  I
am going to challenge him on it. But I am not going to demean him.  If
he needed help on the street, I would offer aid -- he may be a 'lost'
brother, but he is still my brother.

And, I'm not Saint at this stuff either.  At times it takes every
ounce of discipline I have to keep my mouth shut.

--- Steve <juvenilejuggernaught@yahoo.com>

> It doesn't appear that anyone had thought of the fact that the judge
> recused himself out of convenience.  It occurred to me and maybe to
> him too that he won't get elected if he tries this case.  Your case
> has already cost him one election and he doesn't want to chance
> another.  If I were you, I would try to capitalize on this.  Offer
> to come out publicly in his support if he off record moves to
> dismiss the case with the new judge.  Otherwise...

> I believe in the win win situation.  If he stands to profit from
> this he will go along with you.

Yes, I think you have a good point.  I am glad that New York elects
all local judges -- it does remind them who they serve.  I was
actually surprised to learn that many States have an 'appointed'
judiciary == talk about king making?

I don't like 'secret' deals. It betrays what we stand for and what is
wrong with the system.  I do plan on challenging him publicly on what
he said since those claims don't have any foundation based on what is
at the site.

-- 
                                       John Murtari
____________________________________________________________________
Coordinator                            AKidsRight.Org
jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org                "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents"
Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211)        http://www.AKidsRight.Org/

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