From: John Murtari (jmurtari@AKidsRight.org)
Date: Fri Apr 06 2007 - 11:41:37 EDT
Good People & People of Faith, Sometimes an experience makes you re-think your beliefs. I believed our goal, briefly: Good, average, and poor are all equal & fit parents. When I hear a case, I try to apply that and see if I can accept the result. So far, I've always felt confident we were on the right track, we had a Civil Right that was worth sacrificing for.... Well, I heard one a few days ago that made me think. It should make us all think. Maybe we are not succeeding because we are just plain wrong? Sacrificing for a goal that just isn't right? Sometimes the facts are vague, a lot of 'he said' and 'she said' -- but I've got this one on a good record. Pardon the disjointed list, but here are the UN-CONTROVERTED FACTS: 1. Aging man marries foreign woman 24 years his junior in an arranged marriage and brings her to the United States. She has no family here. She doesn't speak English. 2. The man, an earlier immigrant, never completed any schooling. The woman only elementary training in her home country. 3. They live in a small rural town. The man is a manual laborer. They do not drive a car, no phone, no bathtub or shower. 4. The woman conceives at the age of 38 and doesn't know she is pregnant. Gets no prenatal care, miscarriages. Becomes pregnant from the man again and the child dies in delivery. 5. At the age of 40, becomes pregnant again! Only through a C-Section is the child delivered. They are kept in the hospital for over a week before being sent home. Neighbors report the child is 'occasionally' bathed in the kitchen sink. 6. Father is proud, does not want any 'social services' help. 7. The child is 'hyperactive'. The mother, on advice of her husband's sister, tried tying the toddler to a table with a rope to keep him from roaming. 8. The child starts elementary school and neither parent ever makes an attempt to talk to a teacher or come to a school event. Teachers report he has clean clothes, but smells bad due to limited/no bathing. 9. Discipline is still a problem at home. The mother hits the child almost weekly with a razor strap until he cries. However; there are no long-term marks, never a doctor visit required. 10. The child does not recall his father every saying, "I love you." 11. With no car, the child, at about age 7, is given money and rides his bicycle into town for quick grocery trips. He is given money to buy his father cigars and a local merchant supplies them. 12. The father goes to a local bar almost every Sunday and walks home drunk. 13. On other weekend outings they are driven by the child's Uncle to another relatives homes where all the men play cards and get drunk. It is about an 8 mile drive, and when coming home the child, mother & father, drive back with the Uncle who is clearly DWI -- but has never yet been caught by police. DO I NEED TO GO ON HERE? HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH? SHOULDN'T WE STEP IN AND HELP THIS POOR SEVEN YEAR OLD KID? I went back to the goal we have 'promoted' for reform: --------- http://www.AKidsRight.Org/approach.htm That you and your spouse are both considered Fit & Equal parents (equal in terms of both physical and legal custody). If anyone (a spouse, relative, social services) wishes to challenge that, you have: 1) The right to counsel. 2) The right to be presumed a fit parent, innocent, and deserving of an equal relationship with your kids. 3) The right to protection of a jury. The "state" needs to prove you were a demonstrated serious and intentional threat to your child's safety. --------------------------------------------------- I try to apply that here. A lot of stuff bothers me, the razor strap and the DWI -- but there is no 'malintent' here. No one is trying to hurt the kid, just doing what they think is right.... I know we all hate 'the best interest of the child' -- but what about this poor kid. He's got a mother who is 47 and a father at 71! Shouldn't we 'force' and get a Social Worker in there? Tell the parents what to do -- give them a plan and also support services. Finally, if they don't comply, shouldn't we move this child before his life is ruined? If the child does make it to be a teenager, when he is 16, his dad will be 80! Not going to play a lot of baseball there! Let's be real. You know I want Congressional Hearings, if Sen. Clinton were to review the facts above and then ask you -- "Do you want this committee to believe these are fit parents, that social services does not have the right to intervene to help this child?" What would you say? Well, this case is actually a few years old. There was no intervention by Social Services, no court order. Here is what happened to that innocent 7 year old boy that has made me stop and think: MORE UN-CONTROVERTED FACTS: 14. The child loves both his mother and father dearly. When asked, both mother and father say they love their child very much. That he means the world to them. 15. The child is President of his Senior Class in High School. 16. On his own initiative he completes an application for a Congressional appointment to the USAF Academy -- he is accepted. 17. He is an Honor (Cum Laude) Graduate of the Academy with a degree in Astronautical Engineering (real 'rocket science'). When the caps are thrown in the sky during graduation, both his mother (age 62) and his father (age 86) are in the stadium. 18. He completes Pilot Training, flies an Air Force jet at supersonic speeds. Becomes a jet instructor pilot. 19. On his own initiative, with no pressure from his aging parents, he abandons his AF career (and dreams of becoming a Space Shuttle Pilot) to care for them. The 'rest of the story' ----------------------- That former 7 year old boy, who smelled bad, is the one typing this email message. My uncle was never caught DWI by the cops and I have since improved my bathing habits! Please don't be afraid to stand next to me at our rally in May! To those 'uncontested' facts, I can obviously add many more instances of love & caring from friends and relatives, but especially both my father, Domenico, and my mother, Caterina. You can guess, they are on the home page of my family web site, http://www.murtari.org/ Closing ------- I would not hesitate to tell Sen. Clinton, or anyone else who asked, 'NO, the government has no right to intervene in my families life.' At times I count myself lucky that I was born 50 years ago. I don't think I would have survived with my family today. I worked off my ADHD by running around fields -- I would have probably been medicated, psycho analyzed, and with great sadness, separated from my parents. What a terrible tragedy. Many of you wonder why I go to such risks for reform? I knew what great love is from my parents, my dad never had to say it, because he showed it EVERY DAY of my childhood. Many of you know the same torture I have been through all these years since my contact with my son, Domenic, was limited by a court deciding 'best interest'. All the love I wanted to show him -- and was not able to. It is only in 'action' and more specifically, NonViolent sacrifice, that I have found peace of heart and converted that anger & hatred toward the 'system' into powerful actions based on love. http://www.AKidsRight.Org/civil.htm When more of us really BELIEVE, perhaps we will become ready to sacrifice some of our future and comforts to guarantee our children never experience this type of treatment. Today is 'Good Friday' -- little bit of an oxymoron? They nail a living man to a cross and we call it a good day! Whether you believe he was the Son of God or not, we all should admire Jesus of Nazareth. He did more than just 'say' the right things. It was a 'Good' day for all of us when he had the courage to convert those great words into loving self-sacrifice. Happy Easter! -- John Murtari ____________________________________________________________________ Coordinator AKidsRight.Org jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents" Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211) http://www.AKidsRight.Org/ ======================================= Newsletter mailing list Newsletter@kids-right.org subscribe/unsubscribe info below: http://kids-right.org/mailman/listinfo/newsletter
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