From: John Murtari (murtarij@yahoo.com)
Date: Mon Jan 18 2010 - 08:47:57 EST
AKidsRight.Org - All the information in our messages if FREE for reuse as you desire. Subscribe/unsubscribe info at end of this message. ========================================= Good People & People of Faith, I'm going to try and keep this message short. I went back to the Courthouse three days last week and used kids's chalk to write on the wall (the message "Mr. Oaks - HELP FAMILY RIGHTS"). After writing I went in and told security, then a silent picket outside the building for about an hour before going home. http://www.AKidsRight.Org/parental_notification Tomorrow, Jan 19th, I'll be going back and writing a LOT. Let's see how much they can ignore? I've included one very "on point" FEEDBACK message below: You need more people to join you and get involved! MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY -- I think articles miss the point when they talk about "peaceful" action, but miss the call for "self-sacrifice." http://www.AKidsRight.Org/p_martin.htm "We are American citizens, and we are determined to acquire or citizenship to the fullness of its meaning. We are here because we are determined to get the situation corrected. We are here this evening to say to those who have mistreated us so long what we are tired -- tired of being segregated and humiliated; tired of being kicked about by the brutal feet of oppression... In our protest there will be no cross burnings. No white person will be taken from their home by a hooded Negro mob and brutally murdered. There will be no threats and intimidation... our actions must be guided by the deepest principles of our Christian faith. Love must be our regulating ideal. . . . Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, and pray for them that use you. If we fail to do this our protest will end up as a meaningless drama on the stage of history, and its memory will be shrouded with the ugly garments of shame... [When the history books are written] there lived a race of people who had the moral courage to stand up for their rights. And thereby they injected a new meaning into the veins of history and civilization." -- Dr. Martin Luther King Before you use the word "rights" -- ask yourself this, "Would I go to a Family Law reform rally if I knew my home might be burned down?" http://www.AKidsRight.Org/p_gandhi.htm "This non-violence will be expressed through Civil Disobedience. My ambition is no less than to convert people through non-violence, and thus make them see the wrong they have done. I do not seek to harm people. I want to serve them even as I want to serve my own . . . If the people join me as I expect they will, the suffering they will undergo will be enough to melt the stoniest hearts." -- Mahatma Gandhi "ACT WITH HONESTY IN RESPONSE TO INDIGNITY" -- Do we need to hear more example of how bad the system is. The larger question: What are we going to do about it? http://mensnewsdaily.com/2010/01/13/act-with-honesty-in-response-to-indignity/ (Note: I'm not an activist for Men's Rights or Women's Rights. This isn't to say they don't have some valid concerns and goals. My issue is the Family Rights of both Mothers and Fathers.) "WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE" -- There is currently a review of Family Law underway in California by the "Elkins Family Law Task Force." Here is something from a group called "Fathers & Families" (sorry Moms!) that submitted recommendations: http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/docs/final-elkins-package-20091204.pdf It's a 24 page document. I encourage you to read what they propose as a "Co-Parent's Bill of Rights and Responsibilities" -- page 11. It's nice to know you can feel good! You're still a "Co-Parent" even if you do only see your kids a few weekends a month and have no say in what they are doing... but we'll let you know! Your FEEDBACK? "THE DECLARATION OF FAMILY RIGHTS" -- I believe it is worth signing! http://www.thepetitionsite.com/3/the-declaration-of-family-rights Your FEEDBACK -- strength in numbers! ------------------------------------ --- Brian Johnson <brianleejohnson@accesscomm.ca> > I continue to receive and read your emails with interest. I've been > very active in the post-divorce equal parenting movement, both > locally and nationally here in Canada, for 12 years now. I'm the VP > for Coalition Affairs for The Canadian Equal Parenting Council, the > President of the Canadian Coalition for Equal Parenting, the > Coordinator for the Regina Shared Parenting Network, and am a Board > member of Fathers-4-Justice Canada. > I am very impressed with your obviously deep and tenacious > commitment to the movement. In many ways you continue to inspire. > I would like to make a small comment and suggestion on your efforts. > I have struggled, like so many others in the movement, with efforts > to motivate others to become more active, with only modest success. > I note your struggles as well. > I am interested in knowing if you have contacted either The American > Coalition for Fathers and Children (out of Washington) or Fathers > and Families (out of Boston)? Have you discussed with either of > them the idea of setting up a chapter of their organization where > you live near New York? As you know, there is strength in numbers > on a logarithmic scale. > Accordingly, I would like to ask if you would consider holding off > on your next (isolated?) action until you have explored these two > organizations as allies, or some other organization. Or, failing > that approach, perhaps hold off until you have secured the support > of at least a few other people who would be willing to join you. > The reasons for my suggestion are the following: 1) in numbers - > strength; 2) in numbers - safety; 3) in numbers - enhanced > motivation; 4) in numbers - unity; 5) in numbers - emotional > support; 6) in numbers - media coverage. > The last point is particularly critical as I'm sure your know. > Without the media to at least report an action, and preferably to > provide supportive coverage, the action's impact would be almost > entirely lost as a motivating effort. With the media's coverage > and, hopefully, support, the action will be profoundly more > effective. Instead of giving the appearance of a single, > unsupported voice for change, an activity accomplished by a group of > people (however small, and hopefully growing) would have a huge > effect on motivating others to act as well. I believe that all > activists across the continent should place as their first priority > some action plan to establish a group-based response to the burdens > we have been enduring. Without much greater political presence, our > movement will continue to languish. This is why organizations such > as the two I've mentioned above, or other organizations in the > movement, are so critical to support, such that the critical mass > needed, to effect the large P political change we are all striving > for, will come all that sooner. > Would you be willing to consider my ideas? I'm sending my reply to you and also to a few of the groups you mention and others who are active. I agree with almost everything you say above and have had the same thoughts. What you say about more effectiveness in numbers is absolutely correct. I have tried contacting the groups above, on several occasions, but not seen a lot of support from leadership. There is nothing "magic" about what I am doing and you, or any of the other groups could do similar things -- I have kept in touch with the F4J Canada group and glad to see they have a group dedicated to public action. Although a few member of F4J in the US have tried, it doesn't seem to be catching on here? This may seem basic, but we still don't agree on Fundamental "Goals" for reform -- and what "Methods" are suitable to achieve those goals. How could I expect their support? The "Declaration of Family Rights" makes a strong Civil Rights statement, http://www.thepetitionsite.com/3/the-declaration-of-family-rights http://www.akidsright.org/approach.htm That type of Goal calls for Civil Rights "methods" -- and those peaceful methods call for an element of unavoidable self-sacrifice. Many groups and individuals have an aversion to breaking any law as a form of civil disobedience. Many groups are non-profits and could find themselves fined by Judges for financial damages if they did so. I ask people, "What personal sacrifice are you willing to make right now to try to make the reform you desire a reality?" I get few answers. I can't blame them. If you have a different goal, these methods may not be correct. Many would declare victory if they could just get a "rebuttable presumption of equality" into law -- but a Judge would still decide what's best for the kids, after all, every family is so unique? Maybe for some it is a matter of achieving a small short term goal, before going after the big goal of real EQUALITY? In some ways that makes sense, but the problem may be -- we need to overcome what has become a deep-seated social prejudice and acceptance of government interference in family life. To do that, we need numbers and votes -- a big "Civil Rights" goal can do more to inspire people to act. When you say "Civil Rights", it calls forth a different level of effort. I believe others are waiting to see if "these ideas about loving self-sacrifice really work?" Maybe this "faith" based approach worked years ago for Indian Independence and stopping Segregation -- but these are different times. We are more modern now. People don't have that same Faith.... Brian, believe me what I say I have many of the same doubts every time I find myself in jail -- but I have see some very good things happen (at a smaller level) and I must try to be true to my Faith in a loving God. While I always try to get others, it does not excuse me from acting alone when confronted with injustice & indignity. More people may be "more" effective, but one person can still change things. I'm never more than one major news story from seeing things turn around. Remember the Black "freedom riders" from the 50s. It started with one, became a few, and when it got major press coverage -- it became trendy! --------- John Murtari _______________________________________________________ Coordinator AKidsRight.Org jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org A Kid's Right to BOTH parents" (315) 944-0999(x-211) http://www.AKidsRight.Org/ ========================================= http://www.AKidsRight.Org/ A Kid's Right to Both Parents! --- Newsletter mailing list Newsletter@kids-right.org http://kids-right.org/mailman/listinfo/newsletter
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