From: John Murtari (murtarij@yahoo.com)
Date: Mon Apr 19 2010 - 13:23:17 EDT
AKidsRight.Org - All the information in our messages if FREE for reuse as you desire. Subscribe/unsubscribe info at end of this message. ========================================= Good People & People of Faith, This message has info on: 1. Pre-Mother's Day Rally - for Family Rights, May 7th. 2. Ever taken the "bonding test" - fear it! 3. Proven method to beat the system - abandon your kids? 4. Your FEEDBACK - what you'd say at legislative hearings. 5. What is worth arrest? - THE DECLARATION OF FAMILY RIGHTS 1. Pre-Mother's Day Rally - for Family Rights --------------------------------------------- [ If any groups have any types of events planned for Mother's Day, please let me know. It helps if you complete the event submission form at http://www.AKidsRight.Org/events.htm ] May 7th, 1100-1500 EST, Lyons, NY We'd like to get a collection of Moms & Dads who support the "Declaration of Family Rights" (http://www.AKidsRight.Org/familyrights) to do three things: 1) Meet each other, exchange stories, have lunch together. 2) Personally visit NY Assemblyman Oak's local office to share your stories and demonstrate your concern about Family Rights. 3) Participate in a brief silent picket outside the Courthouse carrying pictures of your children. Contact me, John Murtari <jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org>, if you think you can attend. If we get a good count we will send out Press Releases to local media to cover the event as a pre-Mother's Day activity! It would be great to get some reporters and cameras there. If you know any Superheroes, it would be nice to have one of them present in costume... 2. Ever taken the "bonding test" - fear it! ------------------------------------------- [ I was contacted by Anna Marie Jones <annamarie3380@yahoo.com>. She is from California and wanted to become active in reform after seeing how easy a TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) was. Her story was featured in RISE Magazine's Spring 2010 issue. ] ----------------- http://www.risemagazine.org/PDF/Rise_issue_15.pdf Those are (were) her two beautiful kids on the cover. Here are a few excerpts from her story: ... Finally, the worker told me that CPS wanted to terminate my parental rights. "Why?" I asked. "I was told the goal was reunification." My worker would only say, ´Your kids have been in care too long. Your kids are at an adoptable age. This case has reached the time limit." In court, all my attorney did was agree with everything said. He also told me not to say anything. So we both just sat there. I told him that I wanted another public defender. He said, "Go ahead, find yourself one." But I didn't know how to do that. During the termination trial, the workers testified that, since my children had been in care for two years, they needed a permanent home. The judge requested a bonding study to determine whether my children and I had a bond. It was 20 minutes long and done by someone that my children and I had never met before. The lady who did the study took the stand and told the court that my children and I didn't have a bond. I remember weeping. I couldn't believe the court would allow such a thing... As we got toward the end, my visits with my children became very sad. We only saw each other two hours each month. My daughter started to seem like a sick, depressed little girl. My son started to seem like he was forgetting who I was. At the end of each visit, Erica would cry and cry. I remember that the young girl supervising our visits warned me that if my daughter kept crying, our visits would stop. I felt awful telling my daughter that she had to stop crying. One day my daughter told me, "Mom! The worker said they're going to adopt us and we're never going to see you again!" Tears swelled up in my eyes. I told Erica, "Don't listen to them." At our last visit, I left my children with a children's Bible, gave them a big hug, and told them, "I love you. Don't worry. God will let us see each other again." -------------------- Anna Marie did have some drug problems, but did she ever try to harm her kids intentionally? No. But the officials involved just wanted to "play it safe..." You don't get justice, just processing -- and that should never happen to the Family bond. If a parent commits a crime, send them to jail, they are separated from their kids (de facto) -- but when free, they are parents, unless you are ready to prove they have intentionally tried to cause serious harm to their children... 3. Proven method to beat the system - abandon your kids? -------------------------------------------------------- [ I wanted to share what Ivor had to say. It's not too much different that I have heard from many parents, "I just told my kids I'm not their parent any more due to Court order. The Court is now in charge; don't blame me for what happens in your future...." What do you think?] From: "Ivor Catt" <icatt@btinternet.com> > I try to get excluded fathers to follow my strategy, which has always been > successful when it has been tried - which is only four or five times. > It really involves giving up trying a.s.a.p. "Trying" supplies funding to a > destructive system and validates that system. > My successful strategy is ignored by excluded fathers. It is at > http://www.ivorcatt.com/3003.htm and http://www.ivorcatt.com/2908.htm > http://www.ivorcatt.com/3002.htm > http://www.electromagnetism.demon.co.uk/EPIGR.htm I started with the page, http://www.electromagnetism.demon.co.uk/retreat01.htm and went through your stuff. I have some objections with the following: "It validates his acceptance that he has no power whatsoever, and therefore no responsibility to his children or to his wife or ex-wife. He also has no responsibility for the proper functioning of the state, or for any involvement in the political process." That just isn't a real statement and it is not true. Probably one of our strongest moral responsibilities is to our children -- and no law or Judge's order relieves us of that. It does make consequences more severe -- but we have a moral duty to uphold our dignity as parents. I have known parents who seemed to embrace your philosophy. They've told me, "the Court said that I'm not a parent" -- so I'm just walking away. If my kid's approach me when they are older and ask why I lost contact with them, I'll show them the Court paperwork that says I wasn't a parent anymore." (or in your cause, I guess they would show the Retreat Certificate). It is a pitiable response to indignity. There is a LOT of pain in being separated from your kids. The idea of "retreat" seems to offer a grieving parent a rationalization and allows them to forget about their kids and quit trying to be an EQUAL parent to them.... Your "retreat" provides the almost opposite approach from a more action oriented response. Take a look at the following article: "Act with Honesty in Response to Indignity" http://mensnewsdaily.com/2010/01/13/act-with-honesty-in-response-to-indignity/ Let me know what you think. 4. Your FEEDBACK - what you'd say at legislative hearings. ---------------------------------------------------------- Last list message we asked: "If you were invited to legislative hearings on reform -- what would you say in 250 words or less?" You are welcome to send yours in! --- bradshawphillip@yahoo.com > Ban Quasi-Judicial Administrative Hearings and recognize rights of > families to equal protection under the law. Open court TPR > proceedings to right of trial by jury and private recordings. > Eliminate increased adoption incentive bonus vouchers. --- beverlyreed2002@yahoo.com > Speaking purely as a mother, and thinking of what is in the best > interest of my children on a daily basis, I personally am appalled > at the behavior of the courts and our family court systems. I have > been a single mother at one point, and been around other single > mothers, and it made me sick to my stomach to listen to and watch > some of their behaviors as well. > At no point has the child ever been what was the core important of > either parent in a divorce. I literally had a woman ask me if I was > crazy for not asking for Child Support, that if I didn't get it, > he'd knock some other woman up and she'd get my money. > I think that was the turning point for me about the viciousness of > some people (men are not excluded from bad behaviors by any > means). I couldn't even begin to think of how to express in 250 > words the need for reform. Starting with Child Support and how it > add to an already hostile situation! I personally think it puts a > price tag on my child's head, if he doesn't pay the mother is > pissed, the child gets dragged into adult issues, and the child > resents them all in the end for being bent over. > If I could have my one little voice heard, I would advocate TIME, I > watched as I was putting in 90% of the time, and continue to with my > eldest son. No amount of money could ever replace or compensate what > I do, and I broke down a typical child support payment of $250 a > month, which in my home would break down with all I put into my son > as less than $2 a day with all he has, and would break down even > further when he start high school soon since all extra curricular > activities cost us parents out of pocket (in a public school, they > charge for wood shop, metal shop, art classes, and the whole > spectrum). I found what costs even more than the all mighty dollar > is TIME! > The reason I can never exclude men from having equally bad behavior > as women is because not all have noble/just reasoning behind their > actions any more than the gold diggers I've come across. > Unfortunately I was 16 when I got pregnant, 17 when I had my first > son (his father was 17 than 18 when he was born)... he just didn't > happen to be one of the good men like my husband of the past 12 > years. Thankfully I don't have a lot of bitterness and can see > beyond myself to know what is best for the child involved. However > if I were to go through a divorce, this time my husband would get > the children, because he works 2 jobs, has the place they can > live/support them, and he would obviously be a better choice over me > a SAHM, with outdated work skills, and no way to > feed/clothe/shelter/etc. (we talk openly and honestly, he's my best > friend)... I haven't seen my eldest son's father since I had my > almost 5 year old with my current husband 5. What is worth arrest? - THE DECLARATION OF FAMILY RIGHTS ----------------------------------------------------------- You can view/sign the Declaration & Petition at: http://www.ThePetitionSite.com/3/the-declaration-of-family-rights -- John Murtari _______________________________________________________ Coordinator AKidsRight.Org jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org Kid's Right to BOTH parents (315) 944-0999(x-211) http://www.AKidsRight.Org/ ========================================= http://www.AKidsRight.Org/ A Kid's Right to Both Parents! --- Newsletter mailing list Newsletter@kids-right.org http://kids-right.org/mailman/listinfo/newsletter
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