Below are the stories of families unjustly separated by the “system” by not having a presumption of fitness, representation of counsel and/or a Jury of their peers (our goals for reform). These people have volunteered their stories so that everyone can understand the true damage being done, and also, so those who may be experiencing your own personal “nightmare” may realize — you are not alone! We want you to hear them in their own words. We can’t vouch for the accuracy of these tales and we hope you’ll understand the bitterness and frustration you’ll read. The anger is directed at people involved, but the real source of all these issues is a system that has failed to recognize and protect fundamental Family Rights. Many times it encourages & rewards needless conflict between parents.
Want to volunteer your story, complete our submission form. (no anonymous submissions). Most recent submissions follow, then by State/Country listings.
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Celeste & Kristina Kaminska |
Michael Perso & Mikey |
By State/Nation Listings:
Name: Tammy Jensen Location: Negaunee, MI
Email Addr: TammyJ776051412@cs.com
Children/Birth Date: Jade (1996)
Date Separated: November 1999
I lost custody of Jade November 8 and I am waiting to go back to court. I left my husband in June 1997. I came back to my home town in Michigan and at the time he was in Maryland doing some training. When he got back I already had my own place and was working 2 jobs. I filed for my divorce in July 1998 because I didn’t have the money before then. I did meet some one else in the mean time.
He moved back in with his sister in Illinois. He fought me the whole way, hired an attorney. At first he hired an attorney in Illionios, but when he found out that, the attorney didn’t have a license to practice in Michigan, he turned around and hired a Michigan attorney, which delayed 2 hearings. When I finally hired an attorney we did go to court. At that hearing I was 6 months pregnant with my boyfriends baby, and I had moved in with him before all this started happening. Now at the hearing there is me, my boyfriend, my X and his sister and friend. My boyfriend gets on the stand and the judge realizes that his son grew up with my boyfriend and says that it is up to my X and his council,if the judge is to step down. And of course the hearing is delayed again.
Now mind you we don’t go back to court until October of 1999. So we get back to court and same thing there’s me and my boyfriend. My X has his sister and now his new roommate there.(My lawyer said I didn’t need any witnesses). So we go through the whole process: why I’m a bad mother oh yes they called me a bad mother. I never was prepared for what was said about me,I was never prepared to say bad things about my X(which I didn’t). So this is what it boiled down to my X lives with another guy,(later it was brought to my attention that this guy let his girlfriend and her daughter move in)they live in a 3 bedroom apt. my X works all day while my daughter is left with a number of different people.
My case was I lived with my boyfriend about to have Jade’s brother. I was a stay at home mom, my boyfriend made a comfortable living. We have a 3 bedroom house 2 cars. Jade went to school here. And the judge decided that it be best for Jade to live with her father. Now I don’t know about you people but that is kinda wrong. I am not going to give up until I have physical custody back it might take me 10 years,but my daughter does not deserve to grow up like that.
Still waiting to go to court. I just wanted to update a little bit of info on Jade’s case. I did have to take my X back to court for my summer visitation. When we got there, it was delayed about 1/2 hour so my lawyer and his lawyer talked. When the Judge finally came in, my lawyer said that us four should talk (my X, me, his lawyer, and my lawyer). So we go into a room and talk and we worked out a summer visitation. But they didn’t want to agree to anything. My lawyer just told them fine, we will go back in front of the judge then and let him decide. Now what I understand is that the judges don’t like when the parties can’t agree. So they broke down and pretty much gave me what I wanted, which was just to spend more time with my daughter. We go back into the court room and tell the judge what we agreed on. The judge said I need to be more cooperative. I’m the one who has been cooperative through this whole thing. He’s the one who’s been fighting me. But any way, I did get a little justice. But it wasn’t from the judge–it was my lawyer who did the justice. I’ll post when I do go back to court for custody. P.S. I did get married this summer to my boyfriend.
Name: Teresa Stanely Location: Dalton,GA
Email Addr: tstanley@alltel.net
Children/Birth Date: Jonathan (1999)
Date Separated: May 1999
TO BEGIN WITH WE HAVE BEEN TO COURT 2 OR 3 TIMES ALREADY. I WAS GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE I HAD BUSTED SOME WINDOWS OUT OF A TRUCK THAT WAS MINE AND MY EX HUSBAND TRIED TO TAKE.
THEY ARRESTED ME FOR DESTROYING PRIVATE PROPERTY, TRESPASSING, AND ASSAULT — WHICH WASN’T TRUE. MY CHILDREN WERE THERE TO WITNESS IT, BUT IT GOES BACK SO FAR I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND THE COURT SOMETIMES.
I HAVE RAISED JONATHAN FOR 9 YEARS AND HIS FATHER NEVER HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM EXCEPT EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. NEVER IN 9 YEARS DID HE GO TO THE SCHOOL FOR MEETINGS OR ANYTHING. JONATHAN WAS NEVER EVEN CLOSE TO HIS FATHER — BUT WE WENT TO COURT THIS TUESDAY AND THE JUDGE AWARDED HIM CUSTODY.
I CANT BELIEVE PEOPLE ACTUALLY GET ON STAND AND LIE AND GET AWAY WITH IT. HE LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING THEY USED BECAUSE MY HUSBAND, THE ONE I DIVORCED AS A REASON TO KEEP HIM FROM ME BECAUSE WE ALSO HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER, SHE’S 2.
WE HAD A NASTY DIVORCE BUT NOW WE GET ALONG GOOD. I LET HIM SEE HAILEY WHEN HE WANTS BUT WE FOUGHT A LOT WHEN WE WERE GOING THROUGH OUR DIVORCE. THE LAW WAS CALLED SEVERAL TIMES FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BUT THIS ALSO WAS HIS DOINGS AND A LOT OF LIES TOLD. I HAVE FORGIVEN HIM. I KNOW EVERYONE DOES THINGS WHEN THEY ARE MAD.
BUT WITH THE ISSUE OF JONATHAN HIS FATHER USE TO DEAL DRUGS DRINK AND SMOKE POT BUT HE DENIED ALL THAT AND HIS WIFE HE IS MARRIED TO NOW O’D ON DRUGS SEVERAL YEARS AGO BUT THEY DENIED THAT TO. IT WAS NEVER MENTIONED IN THE LAST COURT DATE. I SUBPOENAED HER TO COURT BUT MY LAWYER DIDNT EVEN QUESTION HER. I FEEL LIKE THE COURT DIDNT HEAR ALL OF THE INFORMATION.
SHE ALSO HAS A OLDER DAUGHTER THAT SHE NEVER SEES AND TWO OTHER KIDS LIVING WITH THEM. NOW JONATHAN WAS SUPPOSE TO BE IN COURT BUT THEY SAID THEY DIDN’T KNOW IT. HE WANTED TO TESTIFY AGAINST HIS FATHER AND STEPMOTHER ON WHAT ALSO GOES ON THERE. HE SAYS HE HAS SEEN THEM FIST FIGHT. SHE CALLS ME NAMES ALL THE TIME AND TALKS BAD ABOUT ME IN FRONT OF HIS FATHER AND HE NEVER SAYS ANYTHING. WE TRIED TO GET THE JUDGE TO CANCEL THE COURT DAY AND RESCHEDULE BUT HIS FATHERS LAWYER SAID HE WASN’T OLD ENOUGH TO TESTIFY ANYWAY SO THE JUDGE DENIED IT.
WE HAD COURT ANYWAY. I WORK THE WEEKENDS SO HE RULED TO LET ME KEEP HIM ONE NIGHT OVER DURING THE WEEK AND EVER OTHER WEEKEND . I DONT THINK IT WAS RIGHT CAUSE HE NEVER GOT TO TELL HIS SIDE OF THE STORY. HE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO STAY WITH HIS FATHER. HE WANTS TO LIVE WITH ME AND HE DOESNT LIKE HIS STEPMOTHER BECAUSE OF THE WAY SHE TALKS ABOUT ME AND TREATS HIM WHEN HIS FATHER ISN’T THERE. I DONT THINK I GOT A FAIR TRAIL. NO ONE WANTED TO LISTEN TO HIS SIDE NOW I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I WANTT TO GO BACK IN AND FIGHT AGAIN BUT THEY SAY WE HAVE TO WAIT AWHILE. NO MATTER WHAT I AINT GOING TO GIVE UP BUT I REALLY COULDNT BELIEVE HIS FATHER LIED LIKE HE DID AND THEY LET HIM GO. WHAT ARE YOU TO DO IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS? ME AND MY SON ARE REALLY CLOSE IM JUST CONCERNED.
Name: Chris Laughlin Location: Omaha, NE
Email Addr: claughlin@tconl.com
Children/Birth Date: Ashley (1988)
Date Separated: May 1989
Filed for divorce May 1989. Had a baby girl, Ashley. My ex was sleeping with another woman during our marriage and I found out he was abusing my other 2 children My ex was ordered to pay $340 per month in child support. September 1998 I filed for more child support.
My ex filed for custody August 1999, while child support change was still pending. My ex had Ashley for his 5 weeks summer time. My ex had Ashley seeing a psychiatrist without my consent or knowledge and the psychiatrist wrote a letter to the courts stating I was not a good parent and that Ashley should live with her father. Keep in mind my ex has never had children with his wife because they did not desire any and then I ask for more child support and boom I am ripped apart.
I agreed to my daughter to go on a trial basis to her dads for 4 months in October thinking she would see what he is really like, since I knew how he mistreated my 2 children, well it has back fired on me and of course he has continued to have Ashley at the psychiatrist and is fighting me for custody.
My Ashley does not call me when she is at her dad’s, I was not informed of School conferences until they were over with, I never got a copy of her report card until I called for it. My ex has had nothing to say to me in these 11 years, except to call me names on the phone in front of our daughter. Any other things he uses Ashley as a messenger. Now he is demanding during our custody battle to pay him $345. child support back to January and until the trial and decision is over. I go to court this Wednesday, 3/29/2000 to find out the child support issue and his attorney has stated either I pay or get a warrant for my arrest. Please think of me. Thank You, Chris
Name: John Graboski Location: San Jose, CA
Email Addr: johngraboski@juno.com
Children/Birth Date: John (1970)
Date Separated: August 1977
At age 17 years, John was shot and nearly killed by 3 police bullets during the commission of a crime. John, standing at 6’4″ could not be disciplined by his much shorter mother, Dolores Maria. Now, at age 30, he is divorced, a drifter, and living from paycheck to paycheck. My intelligent son was university material.
At age 22, his mother prevented him from living at my home by saying to him, “John, if you go and live with your father, I will never speak to you for the rest of my life. Within 2 days, he left my home without an education that I had agreed to provide to him.”
Just how could his mother say to him, “Just wait until your father comes home, when she had thrown the father away 10 years previous to his near death. “
I am permanently disabled. Consequently, I have only my hands and my head to support your cause. To this end, I am available 24/7.
Name: Debbie Penia (submitted by Grandmother) Location: Columbus, GA
Email Addr: DPenia@aol.com
Children/Birth Date: Jesse (1995)
Date Separated: March 1997
My story is maybe a little different in the respect that my daughter Jesse is not legally my child but legally belongs to another man due to the laws that state if a couple are married when a child is born this child is the child of the marriage. The mother married another man 30 days before she gave birth to my daughter knowing that it would take away my rights.
I have been to attorneys, sent letters to the state representatives, judges and tried many times to contact Montel Williams to ask for help and get information as to my rights. Either the people contacted never returned any answer or responded that they could not do anything to help me. I was told I could do nothing and had no rights to do anything. In March 1997 the mother and legal father were separated and she left town without letting anyone know were she would be, until she left I was permitted to see Jesse.
She stayed gone for 2 years of which time I continued to attempt to file something with the court with no luck and tried to locate were she was gone. When all the sudden her brother was calling from Michigan and letting me talk to Jesse without the mothers knowledge. December 1999 she was back in town and we attempted to catch her and call her to see Jesse with no luck.
During this time she had gotten a default divorcee in the state of Michigan without the legal fathers knowledge. My mother the legal father and myself worked together and found out we would have to file to Michigan a motion and have the legal father ruled out as the father before I would have any rights to fight for my child. We have now filed several motions to Michigan and won an agreement from the judge to have DNA testing done for the legal father and they agreed that since I was more than willing also to take the test to let all 4 people be tested. We have finally had the test and are waiting for the results to see what our next step will be.
Name: Joseph Morris Location: Ogden, UT
Email Addr: girieol1@aol.com
Children/Birth Date: Nathaniel (1995), Noah (1997)
Date Separated: August 1998
In May of 1998, I began having difficulties with my 11 year old stepson, Kyle. He was undergoing behavioral problems as a result of a nervous disorder he’d been diagnosed with about a year before. He became even more belligerent to the point of physical aggression. In July, Kyle went camping with his grandmother, and refused to come home until I “was gone.” My wife Nichole tried her best to get through this, but over the next two weeks began to stay away from home even overnight, claiming to be out “thinking.” She had begun a part-time job, and could be located most nights at one of three different “guy’s” homes she’d befriended.
On August 10, 1098 I was served with papers ordering me out of the home with nothing but a suitcase of clothes. The papers were a protective order that I had physically abused and sexually molested Kyle. It took some time and a court extension to get the report from the Division of Family Services. I had, in the meantime, secured a “room” at friend’s house. I was not allowed contact with ANY of my children (including a 10 year old daughter from a previous marriage that lived with us for 5 years) until I was able to present the court with the DFS report on September 28, 1998. DFS had unsubstantiated the reports and even went further to prove that my mother in law had coerced Kyle into lying about the abuse, claiming that the injuries DFS reported were sustained in a tree fall accident while camping, supported by hospital records from the emergency room where he was treated.
I was permitted to move back in. My wife informed that while I was out, she sold my motorcycle and about $750 dollars worth of collectibles I’d kept for 25 years or more…for no other reason than to hurt me. But I loved her and wanted the marriage to work. I tried to live at home, but my wife spent most of the time at her “friends” houses, often not coming home until the very late hours claiming she was “just talking.”
In October of 1998 my wife admitted to having an affair with one of those ‘friends,’ and said the only reason she did it was to guarantee a divorce. I still said I wanted the marriage to work. Nichole then began dating one particular guy, and not the one she had the affair with. She spent nearly every day visiting with him at his house, or at ours after I went to work. My attorney said there was nothing I could do without proof of wrongdoing.
I began to push Nichole for counseling, as she was leaving me at the house with Kyle, who was still being uncooperative. We went, but she even went so far as to attempt to strike me in front of the counselor, who then recommended that we simply split up and said he did not want to see us any longer.
On February 6, Nichole did not come home, and kept the kids out all night. Sunday morning she admitted she’d slept with Kevin, while the kids slept in the next room. I moved out. In May, Nichole said she wanted to start working on the marriage. I said no, that I’d had enough. She admitted to participating in a threesome with kevin and a female friend, and that they’d smoked crack cocaine, and she wanted me to try it with her. I went to another attorney.
Still there seemed nothing I could do, as everything was on hearsay.
In June a female friend of mine from Washington state moved to our city with her children. She had been accepted for a teaching position which unfortunately did not pan out as the local administration had failed to inform her properly of the requirements for the job. I secured the home for her as it had a downstairs apartment that I could move into and have a place to call my own.
Nichole was furious at this development and assaulted me at a minor league baseball game, biting a sizable chunk out of my hand. I filed charges, which she did her best to get me to drop, even agreeing to joint custody of our two young boys. I agreed and dropped the charges. She then turned around and filed yet ANOTHER protective order against me, saying I’d abused the boys by “forcing” her to attack me in public.
I filed for divorce and we went through another hearing. Because I had not moved into the new house (the basement wasn’t finished yet) the judge ruled in her favor, granting her a restraining order and allowing me only 2 hours a day 2 days a week visitation. For the past six months my two boys, who are very strongly bonded to me, have only seen me 4 hours a week. Nichole went a step farther and got the judge to grant a stipulation that they could not be at my (now girlfriend’s) house for any visitations, so we are forced to visit at McDonald’s or anywhere else comfortable enough to spend time together.
Betsy (my girlfriend) has a 5 year old boy and a 12 year old daughter who have become very close to Nathaniel and Noah. Nichole hates this, and has taken further steps to prevent contact. She has stalled the divorce and most recently claimed that I have not paid proper child support and violated the stipulations by taking the kids to “Betsy’s house” for visitations.
This is costing even MORE legal fees as I have had to secure copies of my checks and will have to go to court on April 5 to “prove” that we have not been at Betsy’s.
The system in Utah is set up to protect the mother rather than the children. I have pictures, letters from Betsy’s daughter and friends of ours, cancelled checks, and affidavits of where we have gone on the dates she’s disputed.
This has been grossly unfair to both myself and the boys, but no one seems to care. The judge continues to rule in favor of my wife without hearing MY side of the story (no one has ever allowed me to state it) and the boys continually ask for more time with me. Nichole has even denied visitation on two occasions claiming inconvenience, but I cannot challenge that due to the restraining order.
And lawyers? I have paid mine in excess of $1400 dollars for only ONE court appearance and numerous letters of response to Nichole’s attorney, who NOW wants me to pay HIS fees as well.
When does this end and justice prevail? How can she condemn my lifestyle when I have not even committed anything CLOSE to what she did before I moved out? Why have the courts refused to allow me testimony and give her everything she asks for?
I have consulted with no less than 5 different attorneys who all tell me the same thing…what she did makes no difference..the judge will only view what I’m doing now. The bottom line is that I want to move on with my life and not return to the abuse and mistreatment I suffered at the hands of Nichole’s son and her mother. I want equal time with my children.
Due to everything that has happened, Kyle has moved to his dad’s home in Arizona and my daughter has returned to her mother in Virginia. We have lost two children in the midst of all this turmoil, and Nichole wants to separate our sons from their father.
What will it take to make it stop and make things fair?
Visit his personal site for more info: http://www.geocities.com/jerris_darkrun
Name: Kelly Miller Location: N/A
Email Addr: km99@mail.com
Children/Birth Date: Kelly is the 49 year old child of a divorce.
Date Separated: 1950
My story is somewhat different than most listed on this site. I am an adult child, separated from my real father at birth.
My mother married young. She had 2 children by her husband, one out of wedlock. The second child died of SIDS. Her husband was always in & out of jail, leaving her young & alone. My mother was a patier, alcohol & drugs. She cheated on her husband when he was in jail & became pregnant with me.
My real father came to visit me when ever she allowed him to, whenever her husband was in jail. My father asked her to leave her husband to spend her life with him. She refused, but he still tried to make things work anyway possible for me. This included jumping to her every whim. He was in fear she would take me out of his life completely. I grew up thinking her husband was my father. After a few years her husband left her for another woman (our babysitter). She then presented my real father with an ultimatum; her or no me. He had since given up on her. She didn’t like his answer.
To hurt him my mother moved over 150 miles away from him, leaving no trace. Eventually my real father moved out of state where he fell in love & started a new family.
My mother went on to remarry another drunk. She devoted her life to him, leaving us, her 2 children, to fend for ourselves all the time. I would not except the new man. I had a father, so I thought(I still thought her first husband was my father). To strike back at her ex- when I was 9 years old my mother told me “the truth” when she was drunk (and in a bar). She told me that her first husband was not my father, that she was rapped & got pregnant for me.
To make a long story shorter- Years later I found out the truth. I met my real father. My mother denied he was my father. She said she never had sex with him & that he was a “fag”. He and I went ahead and got a DNA test done. It came back 99.99% positive. It couldn’t get any higher without my mothers blood or using bone marrow. My mother still denies it.
Result 1: My birth certificate has no father listed at all. I called anyone & everyone about having my father put on the certificate. I was told I cannot without my mother’s permission.
Result 2: I am sad to report that I no longer speak to my real father. We were unable to find an even ground. We lost too much time. No matter how hard we try we just cannot make things work.
Result 3: I spent my whole childhood being sexually abused by my step-father, Mental & physically abused by him & my mother, and was neglected from the age of 6 on. I always felt lousy & alone. My whole being never existed. I never felt like I had an identity until I became an adult.
The system. Isn’t it wonderful? It screwed up my whole life. Why? So my mother could get revenge. She ruined my life for revenge & the system allowed it —- no it helped her do it. I may have no relationship with my father, but I still believe he has & should have had rights.
Name: Gregory Romeo Location: Washington, DC
Email Addr: GRomeo747@aol.com
Children/Birth Date: Michael (1994), Gregory (1995)
Date Separated: Labor Day 1997
Check his own website for the complete story:
http://members.aol.com/gromeo747/TheBoyz.html
Name: Melissa Williams Location: Arab, AL
Email Addr: rwill2@hiwaay.net
Children/Birth Date: Jennifer (1983), Ashley (1981)
Date Separated: June 30, 1997
No legal action pending, it is supposedly settled. After a divorce in 1992, my girls and I lived in the same town with their father for 4 years, then I remarried and moved to a town 159 miles north. It was all arranged and their father was fine with it. I even agreed to meet him half-way every other week-end with the girls for his visitation.
This went on fine for a couple of years, then he remarried and the woman he married decided that she was tired of paying child support, so when the girls went for their summer visit, she somehow convinced them that they were “abused” because they were given spankings as discipline. This I freely admitted. This went to court, the judge made me leave the room while my oldest daughter testified, I had no opportunity to face my accuser and no option for a jury trial. To make a long story short, the judge issued his order that “even though I am in no way an unfit parent, that Jennifer was willing to do anything even lie to get to live with her father, that is what he decided!
He also ordered that the only place that I could visit with my girls was at my parents home in the town where the girls lived. This became difficult because my mother has Alzheimer’s and it disturbed her. The judge said, sorry. Any way, I have not seen my girls in over three years. I don’t know what to do. I don’t get to talk to them or see them, but I still have to send the check every month.
Name: Dana Warren Location: Cortland, OH
Email Addr: JKHohio@aol.com
Children/Birth Date: Joselyn (1989), Jessica(1992)
Date Separated: July 23, 1999
Hello. My name is Dana.I am currently searching for help in a battle for my rights as a parent, a citizen, a wife of domestic abuse, and as a person. For six months now I have found that I do not have any rights, nor the power to do anything about this alone, because I lack the funds, the legal help,information, and the support I need. My children and I will fall through the cracks of the system if I cannot change this soon, and we will lose everything that has been worked for, stood for,and loved.
My marriage: My husband Lance and I(age 16) were married in Tennessee (my home state) January 1988,and throughout the marriage we relocated several times due to military life, in June 1995 we moved to Alabama (where he grew up).After years of verbal, mental, physical abuse and attempts to raise my children in a non-broken home I realized that more harm was being done to the children and myself by trying to hold the marriage together, So I went and saw an attorney, who told me I had a great case, a great record,a good job, all I would need is money to get this divorce, and protect the children and myself.
My husband who didn’t want a divorce after almost 12 years of marriage threatened me with the KIDS, CAREER, MONEY, FRIENDS, CHURCH, HOME, and MY LIFE, and he has carried out all but one of these threats, I am still alive…
KIDS: The girls went on vacation with Kay(his sister)to his mom’s in Tennessee for 10 days,Jessica was returned home, but Joselyn was held as a ransom. Lance blocked off my contact with Joselyn, unless I stayed I didn’t get to communicate with her. I went against his wishes to proceed with the separation, even though I didn’t have the money to file for divorce, nor to pay an attorney to get my child back. He in turn physically removed Jessica from me and sent her off to Tennessee as well.I couldn’t pay an attorney, the law wouldn’t get involved so I took leave from my job,took a small bag of clothes, all the money to my name and went to Tennessee, went through the law, got the kids(temp. custody) and went into a battered women’s shelter. On July 23rd went to court in Tennessee, the judge ruled-out of jurisdiction,left the kids in my physical custody and told me to get the kids to Alabama,get a lawyer and keep the children safe, but we never made it back inside the shelter.
His money bought him a great attorney, and perjury got him an emergency order from a judge in Alabama. By swearing I took the kids out of state after he filed for a divorce, he gained temporally custody,(even though I have Tennessee court records proving different).So the police took my begging,hysterical crying children from my arms in the middle of the shelter parking lot back to the abuser.
MONEY and HOME: I went back to Alabama, lived in a battered women’s shelter for five months, I couldn’t return home or to my job for my safety, The only thing to do was get money, so my family got enough money to hire the attorney, file answers, cross motions,pleadings and still I went months without even hearing a word from the girls. September, after two months of repeated court cancellations I was finally granted standard visitation until the emergency case could be heard by the judge at a later date.
During the months of no contact Lance and Kay(sister)hired a child psychologist and painted a nasty picture of me,took the children to a doctor and alleged sexual abuse, the doctor examined the children and said no abuse, they in turn waited 8 days and made a DHR report saying that 1 1/2 years prior I had physically abused Joselyn. My children on each visitation begged me not to let them be sent back, but I followed the law, as much as it hurt us.
CAREER: Well if your accused of abusing a child and your career field is in teaching children, no matter how far away you are from the abuser or even if they cannot fully prove it…your doomed for life. Even if allegations are made years later, during a custody battle, even if the child is scared out of her mind and threatened, or the fact that I have never been relieved from a daycare position for abuse or neglect. None of these factors matter…I even have some of the threats on tape…but still I am doomed.
CHURCH: Why did I stay all those years? Church does not believe in divorce! Lance is a deacon, I was the music director.It is okay for him to keep me in line (the Bible says), but it isn’t okay for me to divorce (the Bible says). So since I am gone astray I don’t deserve to raise my children, in their opinion the Christian parent needs the kids, even if it means lying to make sure that he wins…
FRIENDS: When living with a abuser you learn control, submission,territory, and power. Since I was only allowed certain friends, who were mainly church associated,I too have found a big shortage lately. A few have stuck with me, but since it is HIS small town most are scared to say a word,cant afford to help me,and then too: money and power talks…
LIFE: My children, church, and working with children were my only life so what can I do now? Well I did try to move on with my life while waiting to get into court, I am currently living in Ohio,I moved here for safety of my life and to get a new start, but am not getting very far.
THE CASE: I seem to be losing more ground everyday. Both cases keep being bumped, and I keep being tossed more problems day after day. I went to Alabama to get the children for my scheduled Christmas visitation, only to find a note from Lance, refusing to give me the girls, and even though I stood with a judges’ order in my hand for that visitation the law refused to carry out their duty. More money is wanted by the attorney before getting the judge to press contempt charges, and therefore I lose out again. Two months have passed without a word again, and even though I write daily to the girls,I don’t even know if they are allowed my mail so I don’t know if they know that I am alive, or what they have been told (I can’t imagine it to be too good). I can’t force Lance to get a telephone so that I can call the girls. I can’t seem to get the attorney to do anything (except request more money).I can’t get any personal belongings from my home until court and I can’t even get the law to carry out the law. Trying to get in front of the judge has been impossible. So as time rolls on here I am; without the kids, without my home,without any money to fight, without the ability to work in my career, and without any rights…
Unbelievable? I thought so too but…
It is true I am talking about me, the one who tried to make a better life for my children…me, the one who has never even had a parking ticket…me, the one who worked around the girls’ schedules, always took them to the doctor, and always took care of their every need…me, the one who tried to live a good , moral life….me.
What is worse is two little, sweet innocent girls, who deserved protection from a system that failed them, and possibly may ruin their lives forever…
Is there any justice? Is there any who cares? Is there any who will listen, stand up for what is right, look at the facts and believe that this could happen in the USA? That this could happen to YOU!Is there anyone who is willing to help Joselyn, Jessica and me?
I thank you for your time, concern, help, and prayers. You can e-mail me with any questions or information. God bless!
Name: Ed White
Email Addr: fernwinandcpe@aol.com
Children/Birth Date: Jeramiah (3/16/86), Loryn (1/18/89)
Date Separated: November 1, 1999 Loryn
Marriage seemed OK – then wife decided upon a complete new life and wanted father out of the picture. No communication; attorneys in picture. Family Court Judge in RI appointed Guardian ad Litum who is not subject to oversight by Bar or anyone else except appointing judge. Father has not seen daughter since 11/1/99 despite court orders (numerous) and has been prevented from even talking to her.
A MSW entered the picture; now the home of the wife has phone listed in his name! Son has been deserted by his mother several times; assaulted by her father. Wife emptied all financial sources; father forced to resign his job and move back to family home in Florida. Lawyers appear unable to control this case; my money is gone; children are really suffering. There is no jury custody; after more than a year, custody amounts to children being apart, unable to even talk with one another.
Does anyone know how to stop this type abuse of the law? GAL actions seem to clearly equal malfeasance and malpractice. We need whatever advice anyone can offer. This has been a strange time; father has been falsely accused so many times of abuse, yet no police reports, no hospital or medical reports, no witness statements or otherwise any proof of these claims. Yet – father has to undergo psychological evals, and domestic violence programs. Doctors state as well as pastors (church) I am very low risk of being violent. Perhaps this is one of the root causes for some men actually becoming violent when their families are destroyed as mine is surely becoming.
I have actively sought help from the R.I. state DCYF, clergy, police, court (I have written judge “ex parte”) I’ve undergone such a drastic change of lifestyle this past year that it would be unbelievable had I not personally experienced it. I have numerous documents, police reports, DCYF findings, hospital (for minor son), yet no one believes or is willing to believe that just because I’m the father I seem to be automatically exempted from my Civil Rights. It also turns out that the MSW I originally met with when seeking a reconciliation with my spouse has now begun an intimate relationship with her and I have filed formal compliant with state license board that governs his actions. Please pray for my children. Again thank you.
Name: Zeretta Young
Email Addr: zerettayoung@hotmail.com
Children/Birth Date: Cecil Clayton IV (5/27/87)
Date Separated: December 1, 1992
My name is Zeretta Young. I am currently living in Kansas City, MO. I am the mother of a child whose name is Cecil C. Clayton, IV. My story is somewhat odd, even though people loose custody of their children everyday. It’s the way that it happened that angers me so much. First of all I met a man and at the time I was still married but separated from my husband. This other man by the name of Cecil Clayton and I moved together. We moved to Houston, Texas. I put him out because of a relationship he was pursuing with another younger lady whom I later found out he was doing drugs with. Well as love goes, we got back together and I got pregnant and he was unemployed at the time and only doing contracted labor.
He has an engineering degree. I was in the later half of my pregnancy and we began to pray for a job for him because my doctor suggested I stop working, but I could not because of the needed income. I had my baby a month after he started working for NASA in the engineering department. We were having some problems again. When he asked me if a young lady could come stay with us because she needed a job and they had gone to college together. Well due to the fact that I have a kind heart and am always concerned about the welfare of others I agree.
On New Years Eve (what year?) we were out on the patio around 12:00 p.m. The same young lady who I had so graciously allow to stay in our home stated that she was pregnant by my boyfriend and that she was in love with him. She had his baby when my son Cecil was 14 months old. Due to this deceit and all the other situations such as him staying out at nights coming home late and the fact that I knew he was seeing someone else, I moved out, and found a new apartment.
By October 30 of that same year he fathered another child, however this time the mother decided to pursue him for child support. This is when my case gets interesting. His attorney who also agreed to represent me a clear conflict of interest, asked me to sign papers that he would only have to pay me $250.00 a month in child support. This was an effort to make sure that the others child’s mother would likely only be able to receive the same amount. The attorney plan worked and while that child’s mother did well, I took a job working from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., six days a week to provide for my son.
Name: Mark Miller
Email Addr: Markk@hotmail.com
Children/Birth Date: Johnathon Mark Miller (8-19-98), Jeffrey Alan Miller (12-11-99)
Date Separated: April 12th, 2000
We are looking for Kriten Louise Slayton-Byrne
PLEASE understand what I tell you is the complete truth..and at no time do I hold any animosity or ill will towards this woman .. Kris was a female only child, her mother died when she was in her 20’s… Her father thought that her being a registered nurse she could have helped more, and he somewhat blamed Kris for the mothers early demise..
EVENTS…Evening of April 11th , I had a harsh discussion with Kris about her going jogging in the morning, while I got her 10 yr.old daughter ready for school and the two boys ready for the day … after work she would come home for a short period and breast feed the 3month old, have a short dinner (usually fast food), then she would go to AVIATION class and not be home until around 9:30 p.m. ..THE next morning Kris blew up at me and told me to get out! leave get out!..
I gathered all my belongings and left..1 hour later I returned the jeep Cherokee ( that I had spent over $4000.00 on ) and the keys to the house…..then I went to a friends were I spent the next 2months waiting for some reconciliation with her… I had sent her flowers and a note thinking that this is just a squabble that couples get into occasionally (this would have been our first argument in a 4 yr.relationship)..
I paid over $4000.00 in bills that we owed and contacted a professional reconciliation expert to see if Kris would come in and talk with me…..NO RESPONSE FROM HER. ON JUNE 5th I was served a protection order that was generated at 2:00 P.M. 0n April 12th…OUR first court date..was postponed..OUR second court date was postponed..On the THIRD court date my attorney was to serve her paternity, custody, and support papers, KRIS did not arrive for the court date..FAILED TO APPEAR.. That evening I went to her home to find why she did not appear…SHE had FLED the STATE with the children….SO ….she put a protection order against me and gathered all her belongings and left the state…PLEASE UNDERSTAND that I did not do anything against her or these children. I have not and was not physically ,verbally ,or mentally abusive towards her…
When I first met Kris she had told me that her Ex-husband had choked her and had thrown her up against the wall…She told me that her boyfriend at the time I met her had been abusive towards her and her then 6yr.old daughter….I hired an investigator and found all this to be untrue…(a note here, she was seeing the previous boyfriend at the same time I was dating her … he bought a mobile home only 2 doors away from her residence in this mobile home park) … I was unaware of her ongoing relationship with this man until the day she asked me to move in with her..aprox. 6-96….AS EVENTS STAND NOW..Kris placed a protection order against me with many false allegations, alcohol and drug abuse, stated that I (ALMOST) threw Jeffrey on the couch and that I was going to spank her daughter but did not….I have all court documents if you ask I will send them to you.
KRIS has fled the state…UNDERSTAND this is a REGISTERED NURSE. My name is not on these boys birth certificates. I filled out the AFFIDAVIT OF PATERNITY documents at both these children’s’ birth… Kris did not return them or destroyed them (note here, at home, in plain sight on the book shelf she had placed a unofficial, uncertified birth certificate that had both mother and father listed as parents ..this piece of paper was a certificate with Mickey mouse and some Disney characters on it) .. quite fitting huh?
On SEPT 11th the ex-husband and her father were subpoenaed to tell of her location … they did not…YET I now know WHY these men and her friends have not stepped forward to help.. SHE has told these people THAT I had thrown the children against the wall and that I had sexually molested the 10-yr,old daughter… Here is the questions for you..If I had thrown the children against the wall, why was this not taken to the HOSPITAL and reported to authorities? SHE IS A REGISTERED NURSE!!!! If I had sexually molested the daughter, why was she not taken to the HOSPITAL and reported to the authorities? SHE IS A REGISTERED NURSE..
PLEASE help in locating Kris Slayton, Kris Byrne…We need an address to serve her paternity papers…and that is the dilemma.. THE LEGAL process (police departments, exploited and missing persons organization) will not help unless paternity is established.. We can not establish paternity with out serving her…GET IT!!!! SO ALL YOU PEOPLE that work in women’s shelters please understand that at times you give sanctuary to the people that commit crimes against children themselves. PARENTAL ABDUCTION IS CHILD ABUSE…please read a report that was presented to the United Nations on JUNE 9th 1999..http://www.prevent-abuse-now.com/unreport.htm.
If anyone who reads this wants more information or can help locating Kris, PLEASE write me at MARKK@HOTMAIL.COM or contact my attorney Art Klym (509)943-4681.. If Kris is in the address protection program she is still required by law to co-operate in the establishment of paternity…So all the organizations that exist to help truly abused and battered women are given a bad reputation by woman that make false accusations and false reports… HOW does a person defend themselves against such actions? Once you are accused there is no recourse… NOW for ME I can not go forward and become a FOSTER PARENT, I can no longer volunteer in my community, and I can no longer aspire to any job in the law enforcement profession (reserve officer) and I can not obtain a concealed weapons permit to protect myself or family in the future …People in my community will not look me in the face (bank employees etc.) She has told such vial, evil lies….. Sincerely Mark Miller Pasco, WA.. I am in the phone book and there is an answering machine at this number if you would like to help.. Please write the e-mail address as I am here about 6hrs. per day looking for her and asking for help in locating these children…Please be careful — do not notify her as she will yet run again… Have you heard of MSBP…please read up, I am concerned for the safety of these children. THANK YOU… Mark