Below are more stories of families unjustly separated by the “system” without representation of counsel and/or a Jury of their peers (our goals for reform). The starting page, with an index, is here. These people have volunteered their stories so that everyone can understand the true damage being done, and also, so those who may be experiencing your own personal “nightmare” may realize — you are not alone! We want you to hear them in their own words. We can’t vouch for the accuracy of these tales and we hope you’ll understand the bitterness and frustration you’ll read. The anger is directed at people involved, but the real source of all these issues is a system that has failed to recognize and protect fundamental Family Rights. Many times it encourages & rewards needless conflict between parents.
Name: Brandy Canez Location: Desert Hot Springs, CA
Email Addr: canezcrew13@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: chief-joseph 2008, luke 2006, sophia 2001, chance 2000
Date Separated: July 15, 2009
Preparing an appeal of the final jurisdictional hearing, fighting to get them back still. This was one of my responses to the court that of course was ignored. I understand the threat of CPS and I am not afraid. I will not bow down or roll over and “just do what I am told”. I do what they ask b/c I have to get my kids back, but I am fighting tooth and nail the whole way.
As I told the social worker Nicole Sparks “I will never go away, I will never stop”. I will fight till I die!!!! In Re C, S, L, C C INJ020875 Mothers Statement (B C) On July 15, 2009 I was the victim of domestic violence. I took appropriate steps by asking for the arrest and prosecution of my husband, P C. He was arrested and jailed.
Since then I and my children have been further victimized by system that is supposedly in place to protect us. I have been labeled and charged as an abuser now. I have been shown no respect, no empathy, no offer of help, and have been badgered by county council. My children have been made to suffer much more hurt than what they suffered by the events of July 15.
Angel Jaimes, the social worker charged with taking my children, would not even allow me to speak with my children before they were taken away. They were taken at 5:30 pm and left to suffer in a cps office until 10:15 pm when he finally got around to speaking with them in Indio. Of course they were scared at that point, wouldn’t you be? They were not even afforded the opportunity to be assured I was ok! The last thing I heard from the Desert Hot Springs Police department that night before I left was S, my 7 year old, crying from behind a closed a closed door.
Presumably after they were told they were being kidnapped. I was offered nothing but a list of inpatient rehabs and the advice that I’d better” find a way to the Indio court house, get a restraining order,” and get it to Angel “by 4:30pm tomorrow, and then maybe we can talk.” My family and I are from Redlands, San Bernardino county. We had moved here. (Because of my testimony in a murder case which is where my P.C. 32 case came from)
I was not offered a lesser charge (as Monica Saenz states in detention report dated 08/10/2009) for testimony (as Im sure this court is aware of that is not legal) I did what I thought was right. I love my children. They are my everything. I have never purposely caused them undue harm or suffering. I suffered much pain growing up due to my mothers inability or willingness to care for me. I know emotional abuse. I suffered for years and still due. But I had very loving grandparents who raised me with all the care and quality that be given. From this I understand what is most important to children. Their family.
I also understand they deserve to have a family free from violence and undue stress. This is why I requested prosecution, 52 weeks of D.V. classes, a restraining order and counseling, individually, couple, and family. However all this was ignored. To date I have been told by Nicole Sparks that we can not have counseling until we 30 days of verified clean drug tests. There were no drugs involved in this incident. There were no drugs found, and no paraphernalia. We were drug free. My husband, since release, has had all clean drug tests. As I have stated before, I had initial drug test which I took voluntarily, come back positive and since then have tested clean.
After the events of July 15 I walked home, alone, beat up, and childless. I was left to feel like I had done something wrong. I felt hopeless. I relapsed to take the agonizing pain away. I soon realized why I had gotten clean to begin with. Angel perjured himself when he stated we had “chronic years of untreated drug abuse.” I had told him we had successfully completed 18 months in Redlands drug court. This could have easily been verified. In fact it was my honest mention of this program and of our history that led to him twisting our situation to begin with. His investigation was so very lacking that it was not until 7/20/2009 after the initial court hearing , when inside the Indio cps office I straightened out that L C(my 2 year old) was not P C jr. P jr is the adult son of my husband.
This may seem to some an small detail, how- ever in such important matters, mistakes like this can only be caused by insufficient investigation which should be intolerable. It is no small task to be given the power to decide the fate some- one else’s life and liberty, let alone that of 5 some bodies. Which should only be afforded the utmost attention and care when inquiring into circumstances and lives.
I now have been labeled argumentative, and combative by Angel and Nicole Sparks. Because I apparently have the audacity to question methods by a system that is abusing myself and my children. My children were put in a foster home where on 7/23/2009, when I finally was able to speak to and see my children, they had not showered even once. I noted this because my son, C 9yrs old, had dirt all on his neck. When I inquired of him why he stated he had not showered and neither had S. It was at this time my children informed me that they were required to “stay in a laundry room until L went to sleep” then they could go upstairs. This is unacceptable.
When I advised Nicole Sparks that this was going on and unacceptable she simply stated she would speak to the children. In her print out of “delivered service logs” it is noted that on 07/27/2009 she spoke with C and S and made agreements with the children that they would shower at at chosen times in the evening. There is no mention or question as to them being kept in a “laundry room”. This also is unacceptable. On 09/15/2009 myself, my attorney (Modesto Rios) informed me that county council was going to drop the charge abuse welfare and institutions code 300(c) and drop the restraining orders.
We then met with county council and Nicole Sparks to see if we could come to an agreement on this case. It is here when county council was badgering and abusive to me in a very unprofessional manner. My husband had stated (evidenced by statement filed on same date) that he is willing to remove himself from our home and enter into the Salvation Army program. This is a minimum 6 month program located in San Bernardino California. This would be upon agreement that custody of my children be returned to me.
I informed county council and Nicole that I am willing to submit to a family maintenance case so that cps could still monitor and also offer services such as counseling for myself and my children. This was met with with absolutely not. I was told I have drug problem and that I had had a beer on the day these things happened. I am not aware of beer being prohibited. I was not drunk on the 15th of July I was beat real bad. The officers at no time felt it necessary to test to me by breathalyzer or any other means. The statement that I was ever intoxicated is not backed by any evidence.
The force of resistance I was faced with from county council was harsh. I returned with ” fine take it to trail let the judge decide.” Yes I am angry. In all walks of nature any time you encounter any “mothers” and corner her and her children you are met with anger. It is a natural reaction when she feels threatened. This is how I have been made to feel. County council then went on to ridicule me for “all my research” and that I had “better be prepared.” He made faces at me and went as far as to throw his neck at me, as if I was some kind of threat to him. Because I would not submit to w&I 300(b) charges he said he was taking away the offer to drop the others I stated earlier.
Why are we bargaining with my kids live? This is not a criminal case where the victim is the state of California. This is my children’s lives and the fact that I have the audacity to question all these “learned” and university certified employees of the county is now being charged against me. County council informed me that it would be to my benefit to not get angry and to admit to charges of abuse against my children. In fact everyone right up to asst regional manager Jennifer Hastings just keep telling me the circle of intimidation. That I need to just submit to the fact I abused my kids and I need to just focus on doing what I’m told and not resist.
I am angry, frustrated, hurt, abused by a system that will not receive certain or maximum grant funds if proceedings are not done in this very fashion. In no way am I accusing the court, I am however charging the county of riverside dpss-cps department and county council conspiring with them to charge my family as they have done with the intent of insuring maximum funding from the federal grants they will receive.
Do not misquote me I am fully aware that no one here “personally” lines there pocket with this money. This is part of their job duties to continue receiving a paycheck. The funding for foster care and family reunification plans is greater than what would be received for only family maintenance plans. The state and county receives much more reimbursement from federal funds when they divide and conquer. This is why county council is threatened by “all my research”. I love my children and I love my family.
This is why I requested help and counseling right from the very start. I wanted to be helped. Now I realize the help was never going to be there. I have attained family counseling on my own. Thru Family services of The desert with Tania McCormick under a different funding source. Nicole Sparks has no intention of helping me or my children But has gladly offered if there was anything she could do for my husband or if he was in need of anything. So much for “Equal Protection”. I will fight for my family and my children. I will not be intimidated by a corrupt system that offers the abuser help and and charges the victim as the abuser. I beg of this court to please with out bias take the time to investigate this further.
See the whole picture and understand how much my children deserve and have a constitutional right to be free from being abused the system. We have an “unalienable” right to be secure in our homes, family and life. I understand this system was started with the right idea. Children who are abused are tragic and need protection. But the system has gotten away from what it was set in place for. Heavy case loads and inadequate time to fully understand a particular family units details is not an excuse. It is also not our fault and we should not suffer more because of it.
Since my kids were kid-jacked from me I have since enrolled in Kaplan university to major in their legal studies program!! I will NEVER GO AWAY!!! As soon as my kids are returned I will be ready to be 100% engaged in this fight for our children. For now I do what I can and give my support and keep myself updated on what’s going on.
Name: Lorraine Corso Location: Cincinnati, OH
Email Addr: doccorso@hotmail.com
Children/Birth Date: Anthony Fuller (1992)
Date Separated: Jan 2000
My story has too many twists and turns so this will be brief. I was unhappy in my marriage and so when my ex brought up the subject of getting divorced I was game-but on one condition. Custody of Anthony was to be mine. We did our own divorce in TN. (At the time I thought I knew him so that is why I made the decisions I did.)
I wanted to take my son and leave the state to get away from him, his mom and a psycho boyfriend. I went to NC. Chad (psycho) pursued me relentlessly. I married him and regretted it. Now my son and I were in danger of this man. I called my ex because I feared for Anthony’s safety and I thought my ex was at least a decent father. He came to pick up my baby but I made it clear in front of witnesses I’d be back to claim him.
Well my ex filed a false EPO on me and here we go… 6 months later I finally catch up to him (his mom helped) to reclaim my boy. He took him to KY (Georgetown). Now I was faced with proceedings all over again as if we never got divorced. I hired a lawyer but he was just in it to take advantage of a Mom-nothing more. I accused him of various crimes, he withdrew as counsel and fled to Australia.
My son was taken from me by Judge Noble for the reason I served in the Navy and therefore unfit to parent my son. Meanwhile, my daughter from my first marriage tell me that my ex molested and raped her for 6 years out of an 8 1/2 year marriage! No charges were ever brought against him, the Judge DENIED my daughter the opportunity to testify and Anthony was lost to me. I got sent to Iraq, came back, disabled, homeless and still expected to pay Child Support regardless of my circumstances. I fell behind, hired, fired 3 attorneys and still ended up in jail. I have acted Pro Se in between all this to fight for more and more rights to my son. Sometimes I win-sometimes I lose. This is my fate till he reaches 18 and graduates from High School(2 1/2 years from now) If I can stay out of Jail.
Name: Terrence DeChaney Location: Coon Rapids, MN
Email Addr: northerncoder1@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Chase 2000, Alexis 2001, Savanna 2004
Date Separated: Feb 14, 2007
Temp order, waiting for Court Services evaluation . I am going through this process myself where the first signs the system was going to be used to separate me from my children was when the women’s shelter instructed my ex to say she was afraid of me and to kick me out of the house with a DV charge, even though she had just told her that I had never threatened her or and she was not afraid of me. I have this recorded from my personal telephone, but can not use it because I was not part of the conversation.
I am in a county that does and will not believe in joint custody. So you guessed it: I have been kicked out of the house I built by hand long before I even met my ex. Have minimal time to see my children even though I have 2 days off each weekday schedule I can take advantage of. Pay her over 60% of my income. Spousal, child and daycare. And on top of all that, insurance… and 86% of anything not covered. I do not have enough money to bring the kids to McDonalds some days but yet she gets over $3,125 each month.
I’ve had the police called on me because I went to a Parent’s day at pre school with my child that I had signed up for a month in advance ( not because there is an OFP against me and the children, but simply because it is not my parenting time). I’m 44 years old and have never been accused of a DV before. My first ex wife and many who know me came to the trial for DV to testify on my behalf. All charges were dropped but the main purpose of kicking me out of the house still stands.
There were about 20 police calls starting with “I changed the password on the computer I use for work” too “I have her notebook” where police come to the house in front of the children. All reports state that no DV was committed. These were used to show “escalation of violence” she was told to show. She would leave dirty diapers on my pillow attempting to provoke me even.
4 days before our first hearing and she still was not able to get me to do anything, she calls a female officer directly ( not a 911 call) and I was arrested because in order too get away from the arguing, I took my 3 children out to pizza without my ex, and would not let her pull the 2 year old from my arms. My back was too her as I was in the front seat of the car and holding my 2 year old on my right side to protect her from getting pulled like a pull toy.
Women are more and more learning from each other and the courts that the truth is not needed, lies will get you what you want with no consequences at all. The more outrageous the lie, the better the effect will be in court. It doesn’t matter what you are putting the children through in the process as long as the end result is what you want. Not to mention, I am the only one on the house loan and she now living in the house and is responsible to pay the house payments. She was $8,360 or so behind last month.
I am current on support. The Anoka County MN judge Lawrence Johnson had refused to do anything about this of course 4 months ago. It was actually stated in court by the opposing attorney that “he doesn’t need money since he will be living at his father’s house”. This statement seemed to be accepted as fact by the judge, given the outcome of the temporary order. What kind of world is this when a Father’s time is held so cheaply? Even when there is so much statistics and research that shows Father’s should have more time not less.
Edmund Burke said, The only thing necessary for the triumph [of evil] is for good men to do nothing. I’m not sure what one man can do by himself, I applaud your willingness to fight! I only wish there was something we could do collectively to make this abuse of our children through the court orders stop. This is basically legal theft and legal child abuse. The lawyers, judges, guardian ad litem’s laugh all the way to the bank. When they take everything away from a man so he has nothing to lose. Children, house, money, horses, dogs, cars…. etc. They are forgetting that “he has nothing to lose”.
I’ve been hearing more and more cases as I research, where Father’s going through this lopsided process snap. And no wonder. We need people like Martin Luther King was, someone to be able to get this issue noticed. Everything seems to be swept under the rug. Even your sacrifices seemed to go unnoticed. I did not hear about this on the news but rather from the http://www.AKidsRight.org/ and researching. Of course the media attention is only if you are a celebrity, and the Parent Alienation Syndrome brought to light by Kim Basinger and Baldwin, did not help since he was not a good representative at all of an ordinary father. What do we have to do? What will it take? Terry
Name: Doug DeMoss Location: Trenton, MI
Email Addr: ddsd1104@aol.com
Children/Birth Date: Brandie DeMoss (1984)
Date Separated: Dec 1984
Filing in Federal and State Courts at the beginning of 2006.
My name is Doug DeMoss and I live in Michigan. I was divorced in 1984 from Roberta Mcmanimon. The story begins 2 days after Brandie comes home from the hospital from birth she disappears from my life. Roberta moved back home under the influence of her mother who has never let her live her life to this day. Roberta’s mother aided in orchestrating a life of lies to keep me from my daughter. First alleging domestic violence. Disproved in court at the only hearing ever held in this matter in Dec 1984.
The mother has perjured herself in court in her second divorce from a Michael McNally in Phoenix , AZ stating my parental rights had been removed by a judge. They were never removed. She has claimed I threatened to kill her and her family and my daughter in the only hearing we ever had. It never happened as that was the last time I saw my daughter by order that day. If a threat of that magnitude had been stated I would have been jailed and certainly not allowed to see my daughter that day with my mother. That has also been the only time my mother has seen her granddaughter.
Roberta has moved from state to state denying me any ability to see or speak to my only child. I have repeatedly requested info of the FOC in Michigan as to how to contact my daughter. I was to say the least lost in this quest as they offered no assistance. In 1989 Roberta of her own accord went to the FOC and signed stating she wanted no past or future support and an automatic enforcement exemption order precluding them from collection action against me. I asked for NONE of this to be done remember I had not seen nor heard from her in almost 5 years at that time.
In 1993 I was stopped by a State trooper for a improperly displayed license plate. He came back stating I had a warrant for child support issues. The state had failed to heed the documents on file at the FOC wrongfully arresting me. The proof is I was never made appear…….it was dismissed and a check issued to me stating refund/overpayment of support. By law the monies could not have been refunded to me if I were in arrears or had child support owing currently. Yet the problems never stop after this date. The Foc would not tell me where my child was stating they did not know.
I continued to search on my own finding my child in 1996. Rather than cause psychological harm to my child I called the FOC and told them I sought assistance in talking to my daughter. I talked to FOC case worker Bridget O’laughlin which advised me I did the right thing and she would contact them to ease the transition. They lived 40 miles away so getting there quickly would not have been an issue if I had no concern for my child. The state did not know they lived there either . Upon contact Roberta filed for a change of Domicile to move to Arizona. The case worker assured me that would not happen as she would object to it since they had no idea where she had been.
At hearing time without my knowledge Case worker O’laughlin suddenly did not work there any longer and the court let her move yet again regardless I had never seen my child. Gone again I was at a loss as to where in AZ she went and the FOC would not tell me. AT no time was it said my support was in arrears and it neded to be addressed. I have never had a show cause held stating I was in arrears. I found them at the end of 2004 in Phoenix from divorce records between her and Michael McNally of Phoenix. Suddenly at that point I am now told I owe Roberta after all of this child support for these years she concealed my child from me. I have now filed grievances against the FOC to get one back denied but a lengthy letter with it. The second grievance was returned stating they would not reply as the matter had been answered in the first answer. The second grievance was generated by the first answer from facts I had not known. One major question was why they knowingly withheld the address and phone number to my only child without a court order telling them to do so.
Civil Rights violations seem to be this FOC’s modus Operandi as they were just sued this year by a whistleblower employee who alleged the violations within the office. I ask anyone with issues in the Michigan system to use http://FOCHELP.COM/ which has been designed to aid in guidance and tracking cases to approach the legislation with. These type problems cannot continue in our society….it is time to stand up and be heard . The states are gaining financially from the grief they place in families. This is not what this country is founded on. The states need accountability when making decisions about the lives of people. Our children depend on that accountability….after all isn’t this for the Best Interest of the Child not The Best Interest of the State? You decide but make certain you follow the money trail from the Federal Government to your state government. Federal fund cuts are a must to cease the huge incentive to separate families for money. $635 million dollars is there to compete for by the states…..since when should are children be the basis of a completion for millions of dollars?
Name: Brian Horsley Location: Portsmouth, OH
Email Addr: proudpapa30@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Jeremiah (2000)
Date Separated: 2002
Mom has Custody, and were going to file for for custody.
Hi, My name is Brian Horsley. My wife and I lost custody of our oldest child in 2002.We have been in court various times to retain custody, and obtain visitation rights since then. My parents called social services, and had child neglect charges filed against us. We did everything we were required to prove ourselves as good parents. Everything went completely haywire. We lost everything we had, and had to start all over in Ohio.
We made the mistake of giving my parents limited-guardianship without a lawyers consent. The judge used this and held a secret court hearing to give my parents custody in 2002. By Kentucky law we are required to represent ourselves, or obtain a lawyer at our own expense. Legal-Aid refuses to help us. So basically the system has easily been able to railroad us. Since when should grandparents have more rights than biological parents? The courts openly admit, and it is documented us as good parents. My father passed away this year, and we have a two year old daughter named Sarah. Our son lives with my mother. Our children are biological Brother and sister. Their being raised in two different households. If this isn’t shameful, what is? Any suggestions feel free to contact me at proudpapa30@yahoo.com . Sincerely, Brian s Horsley
Name: Paul Clark Location: Cibola, AZ
Email Addr: clark@global101.com
Children/Birth Date: Paul & Carissa Clark
Date Separated: unk
Total change of custody refused to be enforced.
After three and a half years I managed to get a total change of custody order from the court of original decree, court of home state Jurisdiction by contract in the original divorce for that court to maintain continuing jurisdiction even though both parents had left the state and Vacuum jurisdiction because neither parent or the child were residence of the state of New Mexico and the state of Arizona refused jurisdiction, leaving the petitioner without a forum. The case file had never been moved. The original decree court had refused to move jurisdiction by objection of the respondent because of the contract.
Until a properly noticed and motioned hearing is held and the contract is changed no other court can take jurisdiction and the original decree court can not release jurisdiction. The new Mexico court declared a false emergency to impose home state jurisdiction, three days after the state of California issued the change of custody order by default. I was proven the respondent had been properly served the and had taken action to prevent service of notice of motion.
The respondent was in contempt of the original custody/visitation order on six separate issues and had moved the child to the state of New Mexico without notice to the court as specifically ordered and refused to file a change of address with the US postal system to cover her move. She was dodging several other notice of service at the same time. The New Mexico Judge stated on the record that she disagreed with the ruling of the California judge and knew what the law required her to do, but she didn’t like that law and would do as she saw fit in her court. I have this statement recorded. I purchased a copy of the transcript of the hearings on an audio CD from the court clerk.
This judge refused to communicate with the issuing court and declared a false emergency to impose jurisdiction. The California court issued a letter stating that the judge was releasing jurisdiction of the case to any court that would take the case, eleven days after the New Mexico court illegally imposed jurisdiction. The New Mexico order was then taken by the respondent to the state of Arizona court and registered with out question. The New Mexico order states on it’s face that neither party is a resident of the state of New Mexico and therefore does not meet the minimum requirements to be registered anywhere. The Appeal court of New Mexico upheld the lower courts ruling stating that the Petitioner had not proven anything against the respondent. This was a hearing to register a sister state order, the petitioner had nothing to prove against the respondent, that hearing took place in California.
The respondent did not respond to the court after three proper service of notices. Number one was the service for the courts mediator to mediate the other five contempt issues by return receipt US mail proof of service. Number two was served by a licensed process server to the physical address of the respondent with proof of service. the third service was by direction of the judge to the address of record to prove the respondent was in contempt for moving without notice and that she had not filed a change of address with the US postal service.
The New Mexico judge refused to allow the petitioner to finish testifying, present documents and refused to register the new order as is required by the UCCJEA and New Mexico family law 40-10a-305, 306, 307, 308 and 313. Now the respondent has moved for the tenth time in less than five years and to the fourth state, Georgia, changed our child’s school 7 times and continues to interfere with my parental rights in several ways. Each court has told me to not represent my self and to hire an attorney before I come back to court. It is My constitutional right to represent myself. I know the laws better than any attorney that has reviewed the case. The judges do not like it that I know the laws so well and they can not intimidate me the way they can the attorneys.
Name: Cheryl D Graves Location: Troutdale, OR
Email Addr: dramamamma420@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Trevor Dwayne Graves 12/17/1989 Tyler Alexander Upham 10/28/1993 Katelyn June Louise Upham 04/29/1995
Date Separated: 5/1998
The state of Oregon took away my parental rights on a memorandum opinion. Dec.31,2000. My name is Cheryl D Graves born 12/18/1964. I’m 39 years old and a mother of four. my oldest Kiala B Ray born 01/24/1983 has just recently made me a very proud grandmother.
I’ve grown up in the Portland area and in 1998 I moved to Farewell Bend and eventually moved to Rye Valley Oregon re;Baker county where I was involved in an domestic dispute I was the victim. I called the police. Baker county re;Norm Doyle approached me and told me to picture my kids smashed under big truck tires and having to pick my dead lifeless baby out of the street then how would I feel?
I told my baby’s are healthy and fine why would you say that to me .I reported the mental abuse to his supervisor who informed me this was unethical and would be addressed. He told me they were going to take custody the next day so I hid my children in Huntington,OR, until my mother came from Portland to take them home.
So baker county did a service agreement with me and let me stay in Portland and Norm Doyle was forced into resignation so I was given another caseworker who made me feel there was hope. Then before my court date he Dennis Fask informed me that he was leaving the branch to become a rancher.
A long story short I had five different caseworkers, two different cases and three attorneys. My attorneys did not represent me I believe they worked for the state in taking my children from me. I have a strong belief that I have been wronged in the worst way. The only thing that they left me is the will to fight my case. I need to right this wrong not just for my children and I but for other families who are being torn apart. My case was made up of lies and they took my children away by their opinion of me.
I’m saying that 70% of my paperwork is all lies and 30% is truthful .The 30% is our names and birthdays . My story is to hard for me to write on paper but, Id like a chance to tell my story in person . Show my paperwork and show how I was wronged from the very beginning. To answer your question about a jury no I did not have the right to a jury trial.
My civil rights have been violated and I would like to be able to file a civil lawsuit against the state but I have no money to hire attorney or file a suit. I know I will never give up on trying to seek justice in my case. Thank You in allowing me this chance to be heard . I know I was not able to give you many specifics but I like to refer to my paperwork to be more specific. If there is any way that will help me fight this , please let me know I’m very willing to do whatever it takes
I so strongly believe that we are being abused by the system I know that this is not god/s will for me to be without my children but he needs me to fight harder then I’ve ever had to so that we can change what is wrong and make things right for all who suffers.
Name: Cheyenne Griffee Location: Fort Hood, TX
Email Addr: cheyennegriffee@yahoo.com, ruffneck226@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Shannah 1999 Cadence 2001 Justice 2003
Date Separated: n/a
My name is Cheyenne Griffee. I am writing this letter in hopes of exposing a very corrupt and bias family court system in Roswell New Mexico.
In December 2000 I got a divorce due to physical and emotional abuse in the relationship. I later remarried a man in the military in February of 2001. I had a daughter from a previous relationship which was proven by court ordered paternity test not to be my ex husband’s. I had one child with my ex husband that was also proved by a court ordered paternity test. Ten months after her birth he began to harass me with phone calls, letters, and by petitioning the courts over 17 times in 18 months for various reasons including change of custody, contempt motions, and asking for more visitation (even though he seldom met the visitation that was originally set).
He did this purposely around holidays or important dates to my family requiring me to drive round trip over 20 hours between Ft Hood, Tx and Roswell, NM each time costing me thousand’s of dollars in travel alone and putting a substantial strain on my personal life. It also made it impossible for me to maintain employment of any kind and caused me to be fired twice and requiring me to quit my job on several other occasions.
He wrote the presiding judge three separate letters each being about 10 pages long complaining about how unfair it was that he did not have custody. He never mentioned in them the fact that he had nothing to do with the children for 17 months and paid no child support of any kind. I became pregnant with my current husband’s child in January of 2003 and he deployed to Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom in April of the same year. As soon as word of this reached Roswell the real Family Court nightmare began.
They appointed a guardian ad litem in May in the “best interest” of the children. My husband was wounded in an ambush in Iraq on June 15 causing even more stress here. On July 21 the courts awarded custody of my two children to my ex husband siting that they were in an “unstable home” without ever making a home visit of any kind) and that I had “alienated” my children from him (when in actuality he had alienated himself). I would like to state that at no time was the stability of our home or the care of the children ever questioned in Texas. They were seen regularly by their pediatrician, the WIC office, military officials at my husband’s work, and by family friends.
At NO time was their care or well being questioned. In our home they had military health care, steady income, military housing, reliable transportation, a fenced yard to play in, play friends, and at least one parent at home with them. The courts felt this was unstable and elected to put the children in a home that was to small, and gave custody to a man with unsteady employment histories, who moved often, had an unreliable vehicle (at one point depending on a bicycle to get to work), and who depended on a vast network of “strangers” to care for my children. He is supporting my children so well that he continually uses my current husband’s health insurance for the kid’s medical needs (making it difficult for my husband to be treated for wounds received in Iraq) and is on welfare.
The constant court harassment, required traveling, and the court’s decision put considerable strain on my pregnancy that was already considered high risk and eventually put me in premature labor 16 days after loosing custody. Immediately following the birth of my baby girl there were false allegations of drug use on my part. I voluntarily took a urinalysis test to prove otherwise. They also notified my husband in Iraq that his daughter had been taken away because I was on drugs. This put considerably more stress on him in a hostile country.
On October 21, exactly three months after loosing custody of my oldest two, I was baited to the Roswell Police Station by my ex husband, a detective, and Roswell CYFD where they then took custody of my infant. They gave me 2 minutes to say good bye and took her from me. Their claim was that I was neglecting my infant daughter because she was late getting synogis injections (which was due to extenuating circumstances). They even went as far as taking my husband, fighting for his country in Iraq, to court on allegations of neglect and telling my husband that I lost custody because I was having an affair which was a total lie. This again put added strain on our marriage and quite possibly helped result in him getting wounded again on November 11th.
While she was in states custody, she was over a month late for her 4 month check up and shots, put in a spanish only speaking foster home (my husband and I are caucasian and don’t speak spanish), and was in a car accident but didn’t recieve medical attention until 22 hours after it happened. I lost visitation rights to my infant due to the allegations of an affair and one week later lost all rights to my oldest two daughters.
Luckily and coincidently enough my infant was returned to me on February 19th 2004 after 4 months of foster care just 3 days before my husband returned from Iraq because all allegations were found to be false. I still have no rights to my oldest two.
The loss of my children and visitation rights has caused tremendous stress and depression in my daily life. It has put substantial strain on my marriage. It has also disrupted parent-infant bonding time, sibling relationships, and parent-child relationships. I feel that as the birth mother of my children I have been wrongfully stripped of providing for them and watching them grow. The guardian ad litem purposely abused her legal authority by ignoring what was in the best interests of my children. I have been left physically, mentally, and financially drained and have the feeling I have no where else to turn. I feel violated by the family court system and am hesitant and unable to seek legal help, but need help any way possible. I thank you for your time and attention in this matter.
Sincerely Yours,
Cheyenne Kim Griffee
Fort Hood, Texas
cheyennegriffee@yahoo.com
To Whom it may concern:
I am Cheyenne Griffee’s husband and am writing this to bring to light how the New Mexico CYFD and Family Courts violated my rights and attempted to rip apart my family while I was serving in Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom I. I will start with giving you a brief background of myself. I am a Staff Sergeant in the United States Army. I have served my country for the past 8 years and love very much what I thought this country stood for. I have been stationed in Texas for the past three years and have NEVER been a resident of New Mexico. I am a law abiding citizen and a caring father. Everything I do is for my children. I put my life on the line in defense of them and them alone. While serving in Iraq my Bradley section executed over 150 combat missions, detained more than 50 enemy personnel, and seized over 1,000 weapons. I was and am responsible for the health and welfare of 7 soldiers and their families and over $1,600,000.00 worth of equipment. I was awarded 2 Purple Hearts for wounds received in combat and the Bronze Star Service Medal.
The citations read as follows:
Purple Heart for June 15, 2003: SSG Griffee was wounded while participating in Combat Operations to Liberate Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. SSG Griffee and his crew, while conducting operations as part of a night raid mission on a paramilitary complex, 15 Jun 03, came under direct fire from three enemy rocket propelled grenades (RPG’s) with two striking his vehicle at Grid MC****** in the Al Taji area of operation. Upon initial contact from the enemy ambush, SSG Griffee received multiple lacerations across his face from shrapnel and temporary loss of hearing due to the attack. Despite his injuries, SSG Griffee and his crew identified and engaged four enemy dismounts, striking two with their 7.62 coaxial machine gun, and continued the mission despite his injuries suffered.
Purple Heart for November 11, 2003: SSG Griffee was wounded while participating in combat operations to liberate Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. SSG Griffee and his crew, while conducting an armed reconnaissance patrol in support of Operation Ivy Typhoon II, 11 Nov 03, were attacked with an IED at Grid MC********. Upon contact from 1-2 155MM rounds which were detonated by use of an UPS battery pack located 250-300 meters from the attack, SSG Griffee received a minor concussion and lacerations to his knee. Despite his injuries he made every effort to rescue his driver from the flames that erupted from the engine compartment. SSG Griffee was forced to evacuate himself and his gunner from the track as rounds began to explode within it.
Bronze Star Service Medal(summarized): Provided vital leadership to his crew and assisted forces of the 3rd Infantry Division in the capture of the former Secretary of Iraqi Intelligence, Fadil Salfi Al-Azawi, one of the “Top 100 Most Wanted Iraqis” during a house raid on 4 May 03. SSG Griffee’s section served as the Quick Reactionary Force for Al Taji Airfield, Iraq. His team responded immediately to all enemy contact inside or outside of the Task Force’s perimeter. On numerous occasions his team was quickly dispatched to stop looting, and sales of weapons in the local community which resulted in 26 personal being arrested and 27 Ak-47 assault rifles being confiscated. As the Battery Unit Movement NCO his efforts ultimately enabled the battery to execute a flawless deployment of 36 vehicles, 6 trailers, and 6 Quadcons by rail, sea, and air to the Central Command Area of Operations. SSG Griffee is a leader by example who continually earns the respect of the soldiers by his actions and not just his words. A consummate leader, warrior, and trainer, SSG Griffee’s organizational skills, mature sense of judgement and warfighting ability clearly mark him as one of a very few noncommissioned officers who can manage complex, broad, and critical problems in any situation.
Now, these are documented citations about my actions in Iraq. While I was there fighting I received court papers petitioning to have my rights to my newborn daughter revoked stating that I neglected her and did not provide for her medical needs. CYFD also showed my mother paperwork stating “father abandoned child”.
When questioned about this they told my mother they listed that reason because there was no block on their form for “Father at War”. The court papers were delivered to me days before the hearing was to take place. The only information I could get on the case was relayed from CYFD through my mother to me. Ginger Bowman told us that my wife was having an affair, my daughter was deaf, blind, and had cerebral palsy all of which was NOT true. My mother went to visit my daughter and was told by the social worker Sherry Rosa, when asked, that no in home visits to the foster mother were conducted in the first 6 weeks of her being in State custody. I need to add that I was in the desert and had limited access to internet or phone usage. When these luxuries were available, my access to them depended on mission temp, weather, and long lines of other soldiers waiting to use them also.
I emailed Sherry Rosa several times trying to get information about my daughter but the response was that I needed to contact my court appointed lawyer and she continually instructed me that I needed to make “phone appearances” for court hearings. I repeatedly explained my communication situation to her but it always fell on deaf ears. Mysteriously, my infant daughter was returned to my wife mear days before my return to the United States and I have never received word one rescinding the false allegations aimed at us. In fact, if you look at the papers awarding custody back to my wife, I am not listed as getting custody back.
I would also like to add that I was the sole provider for Cheyenne’s other two children for two years. They lived with me in Texas for those years and were cared for by my wife and I and utilized the benefits my carreer provided for them. As soon as I deployed to Iraq the New Mexico court “system” attacked my family and tore us apart.
I write this letter out of frustration. Yes, I was wounded twice in Iraq by enemy action. However, neither of those attacks were as painful or left scars as deep as the one that came from my own country. I never could have imagined that while I was overseas fighting America’s war on Terrorism I would be attacked by domestic terrorists that hide behind the system I am sworn to uphold. I love our children very much and would do anything for our babies. This is why I am in the profession that I am in. My hopes after this whole ordeal is to return her two children to our family, prevent further attacks on my family, and to spare other mothers and fathers the pain of these evil people abusing their authority. Thank you for your time in this matter.
Respectfully,
Dennis C. Griffee Jr
SSG USA
ruffneck226@yahoo.com
Name: Carrie Schlieder Location: Rome, NY
Email Addr: caschlieder@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Britiney 1992, Sydney 1995 and Kyle 1997
Date Separated: Sydney and Kyle 09/03
This may be rather long, but it must be told to understand where I am today.
I married my ex in 06/1990 after which we both entered the army (both of us were 18). In Dec 1990 he called me and wanted a divorce. Our divorce was still not finalized in 08/1993 partially due to being overseas. The problem in New York, no proof was presented that my ex was not Britiney’s (1992) father, hence the case was closed. Although, I now being back in the states was not aware this proof was needed. After which we both sought to finalize our divorce ended up back together in 02/1994. Meanwhile Britiney had contact with her father from the day she was born until after I reunited with my ex.
This is when my story takes the turn for the worst. Soon after my ex did not want Britiney to have a part in her fathers life and this was fairly easy on his part since her father was in Illinois and we were in NY. I entered mental as well as domestic abuse stemmed from his anger on me (having Britiney) as well as him having total control over me and her as well. In 1998 I filed criminal action against him, as well as custody of Sydney (b 1995) and Kyle (b 1997). After agreeing in court I was awarded physical and joint custody of our two children. I stuck up for my ex and asked for non supervised visitation, no child support, day care, or medical payments, partially out of fear and hoping he had changed and the anger with me would be over.
In 11/2000 we divorced.
I gave him much more in hopes of reducing the anger that had flared up again – he agreed (after I introduced) a week on/week off parenting time (all according to his work schedule), I agreed to a VERY reduced child support, no alimony for me, no reimbursement for his degree he acquired while I solely worked, I paid for medical, I took the marital debts, he had his own, which he accrued from his drug habit. I was told when Sydney and Kyle were in school we could change to a more stable parenting time. He worked nights and I worked days. The schedule alone was hectic and after time, this showed in their lives. He would have them Sat through Wed. come home thurs, back fri-mon, over night mon to him and back with me the rest of the week (confusing huh).
From the beginning this did not work. In addition, he filed a violation on me because I violated his visitation rights to Britiney. This was purposely filed under my other daughters docket number, because the previous judge had ordered my ex could not file a petition regarding custody or visitation with Britiney because he was not her biological parent. In our divorce Britiney was added that she went with visitation with him, and the Judge added she was not his biological child so “there would be no argument”.
He won and my daughter was ordered to go with him. All this was done without any notice to her biological father, nor did he have a say so. All based on my ex saying “he has been the only father in her life” The judge told me her biological father had every right to be there, but when he filed electronic testimony he was never called. This continued until 11/02 when I filed violations on my ex and requested my children be able to have a stable home environment because the back and forth was too much for them and also for Britiney to have the option on whether she wanted to see her former stepfather or not since by this time my ex had more rights then her father.
I had to give my ex 40 days notice when she went with her father. Once again my ex filed a violation, that I violated his visitation rights with Britiney when after he agreed she went to her fathers for midwinter break and even though the same judge told her father and I, his rights took presidence over my ex, but this was not in our order nor in the transcripts.
My petition sat and waited for five months. When he filed his violation and custody in 02/28/03 the court took action. We went to pre-trial in 03/03 and onto trial from 04/03-06/03.
On 08/29/03 my ex was awarded custody of our two younger children (which incidentally split them up when they had never been from their older sister) based on he was stable, and was better able to pursue their educational needs.
I was shunned because I did not spend enough time at their school (I worked during the day, he worked at night) His girlfriend had taken the children from school without my knowledge (this was when they were supposed to be returned to me), the judge forgave her for this. I was shunned for not making things good between us. The anger was all my fault. I was told the judge (in his order) did not like my choice of roommates (I have had guardianship over a 19 year old for 5 years), no evidence was presented she ever harmed them or anything in addition she was part of our family when we were still together.
Two years prior my ex have started his conquest at the school, bashing me, willfully keeping letters and notices, not telling me he had signed the children up for activities. “they were only allowed when they were with him”. consistently bought things for them and allowed them to run amuk, labeling me the “bad” parent.
In addition, every time the children saw the Law Guardian, they were with him and the Law guardian also exclaimed “he had extensive conversations with my ex”, none with me. I had asked for a different Law Guardian and when the judge announced there should have been separate ones for the children, nothing happened.
The children met with the judge – my ex brought them. Also, Britiney was not allowed to talk to the judge (he had changed his mind and decided not to talk to her), also testimony prior to the last order (including his past abuse) and anything regarding Britiney was not allowed (the judge announced this in the beginning), but was consistently allowed by the judge from my ex’s attorney, even her teachers testimony from when she was 8. One witness was close friends with the judge (my ex’s witness). It’s no wonder the judge saw his witness’ more credible.
The judge had changed the order regarding Britiney that it was her choice, because of her age (now 11), not because this was not her biological parent, also they finally threw out the previous order where “I could not say my ex was not her dad”. When did the laws change when a judge ordered parents to lie to their children?
It has taken me almost three years for her to have the choice, and my ex still dictates when and where. She does not want to go with him, she only has to endure the abuse because she wants to see her brother and sister. No one wanted to listen to her, not the Law Guardian or even the judge. She now is able to have a continued relationship with her father, thanks to the order.
I have been reduced to every other weekend with my other two children. I have not received anything regarding school or even one phone call from my children since the order over a month ago. My oldest daughter has resorted to sleeping with me and having nightmares again.
I know without an attorney I have no hope, but I can not back down without a fight. One thing I do not understand is when did a judge not consider the “totality of circumstances” or the “best interest of the child”? I always included my ex in everything the kids did, activities, school functions and holidays. I was labeled as the “bad” parent because we didn’t get along.
BOTH parents need to be in a child’s life. I wanted that from the beginning, but all my efforts have failed. If anyone has any questions or can offer any help please do not hesitate to email me at caschlieder@yahoo.com .
Thank you for hearing my story.
Name: Rosemary Baker Location: Charleston, IL
Email Addr: roscart@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Oscar Gruber (Baker) 12, Kyle Gruber 10, Jacob Gruber 8
Date Separated: Jan 19, 2003
After a 2 month Mental Health Evaluation I will be allowed a supervised visit. Given the judge agrees:
My Ex-husband is a clinical Psychologist which in court with no evidence was allowed to diagnose me. This is completley illegal considered these facts, I am not crazy, 1, he is my ex-husband 2,he has not done an evaluation, 3, has not lived with us for past 2 years, 4, he has a financial investment in this. 4, biased. The judge allowed this even after DCFS found it unfounded, the witness to an incident that never happened was paid by him. I had 5 neighbor witnesses. Yet i was taken to court unable to afford a lawyer, could not recieve financial help because i owned a house. (no longer)more info below.
In my original divorce decree I was awarded full custody of my three boys, visitation with father was every other weekend and wed. 5-8 pm. My children are terrified of their father. He is a master a manipulation and intimidation. obviously because he has had great influence over agencies that should be aware of people like this, I have found the true meaning of the cliche’ money talks, His family is quite wealthy. unfortunately I was warned if i left him i would walk away with nothing, and after his final attack that is exactly what has happened. I now no longer have my children, my home, money, and soon my sanity, I desperately need somebody to help me who can make a difference.
My case is classical of a psychologist who gets the what he wants and knows how to get it. he has the influence of organization which he words with, and now I have no power to fight him. he knew exactly how to arrange this and has succeeded. I would love to write every detail yet that would shock most all of you. If there is anybody who thinks they could help me i will be glad to express every detail. I need a lawyer who is willing to begin without a upfront retainer.
After a year and 1/2 My ex-husband has not signed a form which allows my half of our retirement to be issued to me. The judge ordered this yet he tells me I need a lawyer to enforce this. absurd is’nt he in contempt of court? With this money I will easily afford an excellent lawyer, He could first enforce this ruling and the money will be available within 2 weeks. There is the retainer. Then proceed vigorously to get my kids back to me. Where they want and need to be. please help, I can’t keep waiting and trying I need help now. I beg somebody to help us.
Name: Rose Pecora Location: Dubuque, Iowa
Email Addr: rosepecora@hotmail.com
Children/Birth Date: Jason 1-13-84, Sean 4-28-88, Alyssa 6-15-89
Date Separated: December 2000
To Whom It may concern:
Hi, My name is Rose Pecora I reside in the state of Iowa. I’m 39 year old single parent of three teens. The reason why I’m writing this letter is for some to listen to me . I’m being accused of abusing my teenagers and it is wrong for them to do that. Well, this is how it started in 1990. I had lost custody of my only daughter to her father. We had resided in Washington state at the time of the custody. Well, during her residing with her father my daughter was removed from his care in 1999 And placed in my custody in 99, where I reside now. in June of 99 I received her here. My middle son and my oldest where in my custody the whole time in 92 We had moved to CT in 92-95 I didn’t have my daughter with us at that time While residing in CT my son was getting out of hand with his behavior so I placed him in residential treatment where he spent five years. My oldest was 11 years old at the time when I left the state of CT to get a better life for us else where.
I had my middle son the whole time though Well, my middle son and I moved to Iowa and we have resided since. well during the time I only had my middle son living with me till 1999. In February of 99 I got a phone call from the state of Washington saying that my daughter was taken from her father for abuse well, she came here in June of 99. well, in August of 2000 my oldest boy was 16 years old at the time came home to live to. So I had all three of my kids in the same house hold. And all of them were going under some stress and so was I. Well, some times I would go to a friends house over night and my 16 year old was always there for them and it wasn’t like the had never knew where I was or a phone call away.
Well, this all started in October of 2000 when I placed myself in the hospital for mental help. The date was Oct 24 2000, my kids were taken on October 25 2000 while under my friends care which she was a day care provider and licensed by the state of Iowa. They had filed a shelter care on me to remove my kids on nothing and my kids have been separated since.
They cps worker placed my two boys together but put me daughter alone with strangers. During the time she was in foster care here she attempted suicide twice and put back in the same care to them till they sent here back to Washington state where she has been in foster care ever since. She resided with me for a year in a half and was going to school and etc.( that I’ll get in to a little more latter). There is so much to this and no one here will listen.
The first meeting we had after the removal of my kids The caseworker angie becker said that they were sending my daughter back to Washington state because cps here in Iowa said they didn’t want here her any more so they closed her case on the child in need of assistance and sent her back to no family that can provide for her. She was 12 when she got sent back there. Child protection came up with the excuse Washington said they wanted her back there because child protection services here in Iowa said no. My daughter has be residing in foster care for a whole year and we’re here.
There is lots more — after they sent her back to Washington they made me choose over my boys. My oldest boy didn’t stay in foster care long because they couldn’t find him one that will take him so they sent him home with me after removing him ten days. My middle son and my oldest were in the same foster care at the same time till November of 2000, then my oldest was sent home. He was living with me the whole time till they told me I had to choose over my children. While my oldest was going to school and my middle son was still in foster care. Child protection services wanted my to choose one child over another. Well you have to understand that my oldest just got home in August after being away for five years and my daughter was being sent back to a place that sent her here to being with. All three of my children never grew up together and it took me all this time to get them back together and it took the state of Iowa cps one day to break them up
Well, there is a lot more then this — in April of 2001 my oldest went to job corp. and my middle one came home but you have to understand the foster parents couldn’t keep him there because his was going to be 13 years old and they couldn’t keep a 13year old in their care. So the case worker angie becker had me make sure he had a busy summer so he did he went to the whole summer so I enrolled him in the colt cadets from May or June till August. Plus he went to go visit his grandma and grandpa for the two weeks before school started. So he did that. With him being so busy for the summer he needed to be a kid an relax before school started so he did. You have to understand the reason why they were taken from me to begin with was because they were left alone. Well, while I was working I needed someone to watch my middle son while I was working so I asked for childcare and she denied me because the case worker angie becker said he was too old for child care — she said he can make a sandwich he can call 911, he can stay home alone for the time being so he did. Everything was going all right till October of 2001 — they took my only child that was home and put him back in to the foster home that couldn’t take or keep him at 13 years old, but they could now. Well we had a meeting before removal and my lawyer was not present and I was and they didn’t tell me he wasn’t going to be there till everyone was in there. I had to sit there with no emotions and except what they are doing to my family. All of this happened with no knowledge — it was going to happen till about 2pm that after noon.
So after school they took him again with no just cause to remove him. It is so hard to write all this and let them get away with this. Why is it a women in decroah get accused of abuse an someone hears her why not me? They have destroyed me and my family. I have no more family here they took them all away. I have even got a letter from the governor he said I make the laws I don’t enforce them I have it.
Some one has to hear me please. I have not done anything to put my kids in any harm I have more but it is upsetting me right now. If you need more info I have even gone to the paper here, the tv station, no one will hear me not even the judge of the juvenville courts — here here is my mailing address
Rose Pecora
1397 Jackson d
Dubuque, Iowa 52001
The only thing I would like is my name cleared my family back together. An apology from all the people involved and restitution for all I have and will loose during this ordeal. Here is my e-mail address too: rosepecora@hotmailcom
I’m going to share some more — after they took my middle boy they did an assessment two months later and I never seen her conclusion of this whole thing. The assessment person threatened me that she was going to put me on the registry for child abuse her name is lisa foley here in Dubuque. I have been threatened a lot — I still won’t have my middle son home because they feel I’m not stable enough, but I was before the child protection service came into my home. If you need paper of any kind ask me. I just want to clear my name like the women in decorha did.Nno one here will listen to me please.
I hope you do — thank you very much. I love my kids help me please.
Name: Darlene Lemus Location: Richmond, VA
Email Addr: moonflower2970@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Celina Ayanna-Francisca Lemus 1999
Date Separated: March 21, 2002
I have been the custodial parent for 3 years now. When the relationship ended two years ago, I couldn’t imagine how my ex would try and punish me. We had a bad relationship where he was the perpetrator in all cases. He was convicted of assault and battery. Once he held a knife to my gut when Celina was only 6 months old and said that he was going to kill me. He was convicted of assault and battery.
About 8 months ago I tried talking to my x about getting a divorce, as I had met someone and wanted to remarry. Two days later I get served with a fraudulent protection order saying that I threatened to kill him. The police came to my house and removed me and my child. He claimed to the judge that he was living with me when in fact we have been separated for two years. It took a long time to get back into the house.
My lawyer argued that my x wasn’t living in the house so the protection order having me removed should be scratched. Well I moved back into the home and my x now has custody of the child, as I am being moved back out again. People say that this system is just. Where is the justice in allowing a man custody who tried to kill me two times in front of our daughter. This man also picks up strangers while he is taking our daughter out on visitation. Where is the justice when me not having a criminal record, don’t smoke, or do drugs and they say in their report the child is well adjusted.
Where is the justice removing Celina from her mom and Grandmom whom she has known for all her life. Not one time did I abandon Celina. My ex use to leave when he felt like it, leaving our daughter with no food, no diapers, no nothing. I even had to go on welfare. This man doesn’t even know his daughters full name nevertheless. I have a local talk show talking about our so called Great system and these people are trying to punish me for speaking out. The GAL has been telling lies, along with some other folks. I don’t know what to do because I am a good parent, but my soon to be x, he is hispanic, he use to call his daughter puta , puta, puta. And he has said to me that he would like for his daughter to go in the system. He lies on me. And the very first time that the judge seen me he says “I am afraid you will poison the child” meaning that I will turn the child against her father. I love my daughter and if my child is hurt in the company of her father i will hold them all accountable for their actions, as my x is a violent man.
I need help to get my child back
Name: Pam Badger Location: Summerville, SC
Email Addr: pamelaa777@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Caroline 4/8/94 Luke 2/15/00
Date Separated: Dec 13, 2000
My parents were given permanent custody of my 2 children. I do not even want to live any more…. While at a battered women’s shelter with my 2 children-seeking help to get away from an abusive marriage-I was falsely accused by a children’s counselor there o leaving a handprint on my then 9 mo. old son’s face. Also I later saw that my then 6 yr daughter supposedly told that same counselor that I punched and pinched her on a daily basis.
The whole basis for this witch-hunt was that this center NEW I had a mental illness (I am manic-depressive) and I was astounded when my Dr. took their word over mine! His wife had died-she had been my primary Dr. He took me off of all my meds, conforming them to the majority of his other bi-polar patients; he wanted me to go into into the hospital. I refused saying I was petrified over the fact my children might be hurt in foster care, or sexually abused. I was extremely depressed, but I wasn’t stupid.
So he committed me and the Dept. of Social Services took over and took them away in the middle of the night-I was hysterical. I was handcuffed and leg-irons were put on me by police as I went into a mental Institute. My court appointed atty. was a very abusive, hot-tempered, mean man. He constantly reminded me of the “favor” he was doing me as a pro-bono atty. He accused me out. I was very fragile at this time. My parents had my children, made all kinds of excuses, as well as the D.S.S. G.A.L. (very biased, her father was manic-depressive, she made it known she did not like me-had a report done for the court 6 weeks after the initial papers were filed long before she interviewed me) to not let me see my children.
I am still fighting for my child-protective files. I have contacted the A.C.L.U…. After the D.S.S file was supposedly dismissed, my parents filed a private action against me. The new atty G.A.L. ALSO had a manic-depressive relative, her grown son. She refused to recuse herself from the case and she was a personal friend of the maniac atty I had. My new psychiatrist I was seeing since late Dec. was floored for the 2nd time over the bias. That was the last straw.. The G.A.L. put me on supervised visitation for NO reason and I had it. I fired the atty. I trust no one in the judicial system now.
I relented and did not fight my parents in the private custody case Dec.18,2001…1yr. and 5 days after that horrible night the my children were taken. In S.C. people can lie.. you can be investigated, and your children can be taken from you. Now I have found out though my parents are in their mid-60’s they have NO intention of ever agreeing that my children be returned to me. God, I was so stupid.. My children are so acclimated there to their manipulative ways…The most haunting thing about this whole story is their abusive father was given 5 gold stars through-out all the investigations and reports (that I saw); and I showed my parents a hand-print on her rear that lasted 4 days when she was 3…. It was never mentioned throughout all this defamation of my character. The day I saw it I was so horrified I told him that I would kill him if he ever did that to Caroline again…
Life has never been the same for me….
Name: Lisa DiMarzo Duffus Location: Charlotte, NC
Email Addr: Ldimarzo@hotmail.com
Children/Birth Date: DJ (8-25-93) and Tonia (2-10-95)
Date Separated: April 1999
I guess I must say if you don’t have a lawyer because you can’t afford a lawyer, you have already lost. I am a mother of two beautiful babies . One day I came home to find my x husband had gained temporary custody and moved them to his girlfriends house . I was so sick because I hadn’t known where they were all weekend (this was a Friday). I tried to get help from courts, police or anyone. No one in the State of North Carolina seemed to know where my babies were. In shock I spent a weekend in a local motel with my mom as she had to feed me zanax to keep me calm and asleep. Any way, court came along and of course I represented my self and made less money than he . . . so he was awarded custody and all I get was two weeks in the summer for visitation . . . oh my God! I thought. I tried to steal my daughter in February of 2000 but was told by Salisbury, North Carolina police that I would go to jail if I didn’t return her. I thought deeply about this and believe me she means more to me than any jail! So I was about to go to jail until I put my faith in my brother …
Look I am sorry. I was supposed to march this year with Kids-Right at Syracuse, I got cold feet. But since then I have moved to NC to see my kids more. I thought things were going to be different. I guessed wrong, anyway, he said, ” If you move here you will see them more”, actually that wasn’t the case. I am still going through a really hard time. I can’t see them. Their dad won’t talk to me on the phone …. how immature! Anyway, he has remarried and has my children calling her mom, kills me to no end… How can you see your children if the father lies and won’t talk to the mother. I have had it and no one will help. Sometimes I think I should have just gone to jail to prove a darn point, my heart cannot take much more
… lonely without my kids in NC
Update: 2/5/02:
Well thank you for your help. Maybe this year I’ll not chicken out and come to Syracuse. I have been working myself to near exhaustion , trying to pay for a lawyer , because the state of NC does not have legal aid for family court. They say only if you are in a shelter. so therefore , as this state has taken my kids unless I find an attorney , I’m doomed.. well please get back to me when you can …
Name: Cynthia Blanchard Location: Jacksonville, FL
Email Addr: collie01@mediaone.net
Children/Birth Date: Stephanie 1991 & Karina 1995
Date Separated: 1994
We where married young, we have four girls. Two oldest live in another state now with their father. My ex-husband left back in 94 while I was still pregnant with our youngest daughter. The other one at the time was 4 years old. He left for another woman who was just 17 years old and she was also pregnant. .The oldest one was having problems in school and her behavior was out of control when he left. He never said goodbye — he had me do it. So I got both of us counseling. They suggested we both try family of divorce and parenting classes. He declined. I went and still do for making myself a better parent. Our youngest was then diagnosed with a brain disorder. He never came by to visit or call. Said he didn’t have time… (rest of message as originally received – Ed.)
saw the girls only 4 times in two years.i asked him to go to counseling said he would but never did they missed him terribly. he called one day after the second year and said he was leaving town that they wouldnt see him again. he left after two years I filed for divorced. didnt pay child support for those two years.since then we have moved to another state, to be closer with my family the children where. they where adjusted very well. with counseling now doing well in school. then in 2000 he decided to come back into their lives said he had changed for the better. he has a new girlfriend with a two year old. differant state he living in . said he would do better and changed no more broken promises and things like that. well I was a fool again and agreed to his having contact with them. he was good at first every week and then the same excuses I am busy or I am sick. something always to do.
I explained thats he was hurting them their grades failed. they started to misbehavior in school. he stop writing altogether. for two months.l he missed or forgot his youngest birthday. even when I reminded him a month before than a week before. but still nothing. he wrote again out of the blue said he changed again said he would write more often and keep in contact. promised whatever they needed they would have I told him the sizes of what they needed, nothing came in the mail. he missed christmas. promised gifts nothing came again.the system here where I lived said he had right for contact that they cant force him to take classes.
but I was ordered for him to allow contact no matter how small. I think this unfair. I am the one who has to go to counseling with them and school meeting. and sit allday. he still makes promises to them no matter how hard I tell him no to and still says he will write but then dont. so we are back to the same thing. he says he will change again that he now realize that he done wrong but he says he will not seak help for the girls into counseling. for divorce children he says he has no money and cant afford it. I told him the church does some and the community center to. he says he will look into it. but who knows. I just want to know how many of iam sorry or iam sick is left. the girls dont want to write anymore they refuse, they said there daddy is gone now. that they knew. he says he busy cause he has 7 children in all 3 other women to deal with too many children involed. he wants all families to get along all the women. I just want the hurting to stop with these girls. what can I do. I was ordered for him to have contact no matter what. but its hurts them when he does this. in and out and makes promises to them.
Name: Kim Taylor Location: Stockton, CA
Email Addr: kevkaskansmom@aol.com
Children/Birth Date: Kevin John -1989, Kasey John – 1991, Kannen John – 1993
Date Separated: 1998
He has sole custody. No court battles as of today’s date. MY feelings? Hmmm… That’s a question that has not been asked to me one time from the courts. Nor have any of the decision makers in this twisted ness of unfairness asked any one of my 3 beautiful sons. I am to not feel anything, is what I guess the law and it’s fellow enforcers of this real travesty expects me to come to terms with and simply just understand. I fear getting started even attempting to patiently, and without harshness write another letter on this matter. It is a subject that runs so very deep and is very painful to me thru personal experience.
I still CANNOT believe I am not raising/watching my sons grow up!!!! I just simply don’t know how, or why this has happened to me and my children. Or for anyone else who has lost their babies to a man that only wanted to hurt us wonderful mothers to the ultimate of extremeness if we ever left our abusive marriage. Well, my ex always warned me to never leave. That I would severely pay. And he made sure of those repeated and promised words. I don’t even get to see my babies. Unless, of course its done as an eye spy and a sneak. Watching my surroundings at all times to not get caught, and go to jail. (which has happened) I have to look from afar. I have to dress incognito. With only a few moments to let my babies know that I am alright. And that I have never stopped loving them. And that I will never give up on us. NEVER!!
Only to then walk away from them again singing “our” song aloud. “YOU ARE MY SUNSHINES”. Until we can no longer hear or see each other in clear sight. Tears rolling down all 4 of our faces. (just like they roll down my face right now, as I write this letter in hopes of some help) Complete emptiness, and loneliness. A rage, and a deeper hole in all our hearts is what we are left with again and again. And only to leave them one more time. Because I have too according to what the law says I must comply to!!! Or I will go to prison for kidnapping my very own children. God forbid I ! ! DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL in my divorce/ custody case. (and he loves dialing 911)
He’s abusive in every way possible. He also has his family financial support. Which is enormous amounts of money. He has the town that he was raised in for social support.( very small town) He also was blessed with a prominate name in his community. And he has the evilness that is only shown behind those closed doors. The courts are completely biased. And I have not a chance ever being fairly heard. And believe me I have tried, And tried. And now 5 long years have past. And I am no closer to having my sons safe and with me again. In my arms, where they belong. I was a stay home mother. So in all the abuse, I had no money of my own. Its an unbelievable story for almost anyone to except as the truth.
Somedays, even to myself. That is unless you are actually one of the mothers such as me with a similar story. I refuse to accept that what the legal system has illegally and unfairly taken from me and my sons to be anything but sick, heartless and without any shame, or guilt by any one of the people that swore to uphold the truth in legal matters where lives were at risk. The courts have been bought off and sold to the higher bidder. Unfortunately it was not me. I lost my life as my Kevin’s, my Kasey boy’s, and my Kannen’s (mammas bubbish) mother.
And the worst of it all. I don’t even have the RIGHT to ask why or what I did wrong to not have any rights at all? Not one of those irresponsible individuals even take a moments time to think about what severe life threatening damage they have done to our lives. Instead, they get go home after a days work has been finished. Only to return home to their homes and beautiful children. This would not happen to one of the legal representatives that took the right to steal me and my boys away from one another. To just add insult to injury. He took my children from my entire family as well. And this of course ripped my entire family apart.
And now it is coming up to the date of the 1 year anniversary of my mothers death. MY babies didn’t even get to respectfully say their good-bye’s to their grandmother. Whom they loved with all their hearts. How much more are we supposed to just accept and just accept and get over with no regard to what has happened to so many of us involved? What kind of world did I bring 3 innocent angels into? I fear what any kind of man would do what has been done to us. Am I going to be on the 5:00 news in devastation one day because no one would listen or help get my babies back to me AND FINALLY he snapped to the ultimate in one of his very mentally unbalanced rages. Who will be responsible then? How dare anyone who accepts my story or others like me as anything less than an severely wrong way for us to live, And not humanly try to help these children that are our worlds future. God help this worlds way of believing. What will the end result be if my babies are to continue being raised by someone such as the person I describe? And for anyone else as well, that suffers in the laws way of thinking? Or not thinking at all in actuality? Any help by anyone is deeply appreciated. Thank-you for allowing such a place on the web. Even if its only to vent.
Update 1/30/02 – Hello again to all who have read and responded with true human compassion to my and my three sons unfortunate situation. All the letters of encouragment and advice is so very much appreciated. I equally sympathize and wish so much that any of you as well, would not have to go through the tragic trials that have put you in the place that you are in your daily lives. When will justice be served? I will continue to keep going in my knowledge of what I have learned in this seperation from my sons.
Something soon must change. And I say this not for just me and my sons. But for anyone that has our same stories. And we parents and children must stick together!!!Since alot of times, we are all that we have for a true understanding of the non stopping ache and pain that we have been unfairly FORCED to live with. PLEASE keep the reponses comming. I swear it really helps to know that I am really not all alone. God bless this web site! And God bless our beautiful children! Thank-you!
Name: Lisa Location: Loveland, CO
Email Addr: kodiak2@qwest.net
Children/Birth Date: Bradly (12/19/98)
Date Separated: Dec 19, 1998
OUR EX ABUSER GOT CUSTODY BEHIND MY BACK AND CAME DOWN TO COLORADO AND TOOK HIM! BRADLY HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE!
I GOT CUSTODY OF MY SON! OUR EX ABUSER TOLD THE JUDGE HE DIDN’T WANT HIM. WHEN I TOLD THE JUDGE ABOUT ALL THE ABUSE THAT THIS MAN HAS DONE TO ME AND MY SON, ALL HE SAID WAS “WHEN BRADLY TURNS 25 HE’LL KNOW WHO THE GOOD PARENT IS WON’T HE”? THAT’S SICK! THE NEXT THING I KNOW THE SHERIFFS CALLED ME AT WORK JUST TO TELL ME THAT THEY PICKED UP MY SON KICKING AND SCREAMING FROM SCHOOL AND HANDED HIM OVER TO HIS VERY DANGEROUS AND VERY ABUSIVE FATHER WITH A TRACK RECORD! I TOLD THE SHERIFF I WILL BE THERE IN JUST A MINUTE AND HE SAID “NO” BY THE TIME YOU GET HERE HE WILL BE ON THE ROAD TO DIA (DENVER INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT)
I ASKED HIM CAN I TALK TO HIM ON THE PHONE AND HE SAID “YES” MY SON GOT ON THE PHONE AND STARTED CRYING HE SAID “SORRY MOMMY” I SAID “IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT” I TOLD HIM “I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND I WILL GET YOU BACK” HE SAID “I LOVE YOU TO” HE TOLD ME THAT HE TRIED TO GET AWAY BUT BEING HE WAS ONLY 10 YEARS OLD HE COULDN’T FIGHT AGAINST A BIG SHERIFF DEPUTY! ! ! HE HAS BEEN MISSING SINCE DEC. 19, 1998. CBI (COLORADO BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS) CALLED ME AND TOLD ME THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE FOUND A BOY WHO MIGHT FIT MY SON’S DESCRIPTION BOUND UP IN DUCT TAPE DEAD! I’M JUST TIRED OF ALL THIS! I JUST WISH WE ALL CAN MEET AND STOP THIS SILENT WAR! I JUST WANT MY BABY BACK! I LOST MY FIRST SON TO SIDS I DON’T WANT TO LOOSE ANOTHER ONE!
I JUST WANT THIS SILENT WAR TO END ONCE AND FOR ALL! ALL JUDGES WHO MAKE MONEY OFF OF US NEED TO BE EXPOSED, LAWYERS, CHILD SUPPORT AGENCIES! THERE IS GOOD FATHERS AND GOOD MOTHERS!
LISA
Name: Tina Young Location: Taylorsville, UT
Email Addr: tinamark69@hotmail.com
Children/Birth Date: Summer (3/22/94) & Zoie (8/23/99)
Date Separated: June 15, 2000
They are trying to terminate our parental rights in April of this year.
My husband and I have 7 children total, his, hers and ours. We have been together 8 years and have had all the children with no help from anyone. His ex wife was jealous and called DCFS said that we were selling drugs out of the home. He worked out of our garage as a mechanic. DCFS came into our home only took the 2 little ones that were ours together. Have not let us see or even talk to our kids because we are fighting them. What they have done is wrong — these are my babies! They have since then raided our home 3 times and sent my ex in with a lab to further keeping him from going to jail on his own felonies! He has since then signed a affidavit that this is what has happened. Every time we make an accomplishment they raid us! We are now going to court for 5 felonies. There is not any of our prints on anything that they have found in our home. These cops are so mad because they look stupid so they are going to see us in prison!
They are going to terminate our parental rights soon and I keep finding my children so they keep throwing us in jail on contempt charges. What do you do when your children are your world and a stranger can take them? How do you prove your innocence when the whole agencies are against you and they are working against you? I was always raised to fight for what I believe in and now I know that the system is so corrupt and I can prove it with there own paperwork! But no one wants to hear about it because now your just on drugs! God gave us these little ones to raise and nurture, who gave these people the right to play God? They have not even been in our home or seen us interact with our children. What is going on? and when will it stop?
Tina Young, mother in Utah
Corruption is so widely spread in our government and if you try to prove this you’ll be sorry!! and they win! People should speak up and fight back. Those are my children no one else’s. What can we do?
Name: Bruce Jonassen Location: Gainesville, FL
Email Addr: critterbytes@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Alan (4 Feb 1984)
Date Separated: July 1984
Faith quit her job and moved in with me after a few months of dating. She told me she would marry me. But, she was unhappy with the prenuptial agreement I had drawn up. I figured it wise, since she had already divorced once by age 23.
My house was to remain mine. She figured I should just put her name on it. That unsettled, I told her we should wait until after the child was born, he was due soon, to get married. We made plans for a June wedding. I bought the ring and gave it to her to care for, until it was needed. She seemed appeased, and wore it all the time. Alan was born in Feb., with me in attendance at the hospital. The prenuptual is still not signed.
I was working lots of overtime to cover the expenses and my new responsibilities. I asked, “when are you planning to send out the invitations? It will soon be June” “I’m not.” She replied. She had been unhappy since Alan was born. So, I wasn’t surprised.
We had a scrap, when her mother came out to help. I didn’t know she had told her mother we were already married. Her mother counseled her, in private, on how to proceed, having had personal experience with an out of wedlock birth, her daughter’s. Her mother left earlier than planned. She was angry with me. I was not surprised.
There was more, Faith didn’t give him my last name. I was not allowed to sign the birth certificate. She had told the hospital I was “Mr. Schlehlein”, her adopted name. When they found out my name was Mr. Jonassen,” St Joe’s” told me, “doesn’t condone unwed father’s signing of the birth certificate.” I was disappointed, but didn’t put up enough of a fight.
“Things are going to change around here!” She told me. “Now that I have had your son, you are going to buy new furniture, and a refrigerator!” My home, my furniture, I thought. I didn’t see any reason to replace what was working. And, I told her so. More unhappiness…
Weeks go by, June is upon us. “Why have you not sent out wedding invitations?” I asked. “I’m not going to!” She replied. “Is the wedding off for some reason?” “No”, she told me, “I just want a simple wedding, at the court!” I’m confused, this is not what we had discussed, and I told her. “Well, maybe we shouldn’t get married!” She says. “Well, you can’t stay here with me, if you do not intend marry me! Figure out what you want to do, and let me know!” More unhappiness!
March is over. “I need a plane ticket” she tells me. “What for?” “I’m home sick, and I want to go back to Seattle!” “O.K.,” I tell her But I can’t go. I have a job here in AZ.” “You can find one in Seattle!” she tells me.
In the early 80’s electronics people are getting laid off left and right. I’m working for less than half the pay I was went I first met her. I told her, “I don’t think so, not with the way things are going! But, you get your mom to send us a couple of news papers from there, and you look to see if there is any jobs for me there.”
June has come and gone. “Well, I see you have the news papers, what did you find!” “There is no work for you! I’m still going to Seattle!” “O.K., when do you want to go?” “Next week!” I called and arranged a flight for her. “How are you going to pay for this, I’m barely making the house payments?” “I’ll sell my car” she tells me. “Fine, tell me how I can help…”
The next week, I notice that most of her possessions are gone. I never ‘invaded’ her space before, the spare bed room I had turned over to her, for her exclusive use. She left me the her two cats, and the refridgerator, we had bought. My son is now in Seattle.
My first phone call from her, “Where were you last Friday night?” “You know I had dinner scheduled with Wyatt” I told her. “You weren’t home when I called. I need money!” “Fine, how much,” etc…
Several weeks and calls later, “When are you coming home?” “I’m not, I’m staying here! I need some more money…” Several more weeks, another call,”I need money!” “If you plan to do nothing, but call me and ask for money, then don’t bother to call!” I tell her, in frustration, realizing I might not see her again.. Realizing, I may never see my son. It was, definitely, the last phone call I would get from her.
The following summer. I’m out of work. But I have plans to use my VA benefits and go back to school. My uncle offers to pay my flight up to Seattle, if I’ll go up to Widby Island, and drive his wife to be, back to Prescott.
I spend the night, arriving after 2AM, walking through the neighborhoods of Tacoma, looking for a house, grandmother’s, and my only lead to Faith’s whereabouts. I don’t have the funds to get a room, or rent a taxi.
At 6AM, the dogs are let out in the yard, and they start barking at me, the stranger. I decide not to enter the yard, but wait for Grandma, to come out to me. She recognizes me, and sends her husband out to chase me off.
“Look”, I tell Howard, “I’m not here to cause any trouble! I just want to drop this stuff off for Alan. If possible, I’d like to see him, before I leave.”
He seems to be able to tell I’m not trouble, and takes the suit case I can barely lift over the fence, my arms so sore from carrying it all night. “I’ll discuss it with Cia, you wait here!”
Cia comes to the gate, no invitation to sit down, or have a coffee. “You go get cleaned up.” I looked pretty bad, sweaty and dusty from the long walk. I’ll get Faith, and have her meet you at Denny’s for lunch”
Faith and Cia arrived at Denny’s with a small boy, toddling, a stranger to me. I was instructed to sit on the opposite side of the table. Alan was guarded between the two women.
“Can I at least hold him, or give him a hug?” “NO!” blasted me, in chorus! I held back the tears, thinking I could talk some sense.
For about an hour, Faith screamed at me, Cia encouraging her. I’m the only one that orders any lunch. The women refuse my offer to buy. This is, but one of the many subtle insults they will throw my way.
My son fidgets and crys, he gets tossed back and forth between the two women, and is told, “shush!” There is no need for all this, I think…
I finally figure out that Faith is upset over money. She knows that I’m in bankrupt proceedings, and that I lost my house. It seems there is still a matter of $500 in her name, unpaid, on the hospital bills. “Why,” I ask, “we prepaid most of that stuff?” “There were other things added to the bill..”
“Fine! Will $500, that I’ll give to you right now, settle this matter, so and you and I can get back together? “No!” again, in chorus. “I don’t ever want to see you or hear from you again! I mean it!”
I finally realize, the dagger that has been in my heart, a very long time, too long, is getting the final twist, the death blow is being dealt. On this, the two women rise to leave. Faith decides to get in one more insult, “All your problems seem to be with money! You need to get your financial act together!”
I wanted to cry. I lost two jobs, started a bankruptcy, gave up my house, and didn’t have much more than $50 dollars left in my pocket! She was right, I did need to get my financial act together. But, she was wrong, I didn’t have money problems, before she came along!
The waitress glared at me. I realized I had been staring at an empty glass for twenty minutes, and the front of my shirt was wet from silent tears. She was standing there, waiting for me to look up. Her glare was the look you get from those feminist divorcees, that “what a whimp” look, combined with the “you think you’re gonna stiff me, too? Not a chance!” look. I didn’t need that! I tipped her well, anyways. I have programmed enough restaurant cash registers, to know that her wages weren’t what got her by.
18 years! Gone! I have a few rude letters from Grandma Cia, and one lousy picture, the red eye shot, nobody wanted.
Faith has changed her name, moved, and remarried. She took my son with her! Most of my gifts disappear into space, at the address of Grandma Cia. Seldom a letter saying, “your gifts and checks arrived, Alan loved the Ninja Turtles you set, he’s doing fine, growing like a weed, looks like he’ll top 6 foot some day!”
There is never a letter saying, “I’m sorry, did I forget to give you a forwarding address again? It’s…” None that told me he was doing well in school. None that said he was sick, so pray. Nothing, to give me any indication that he even knew who I was!
Age 17 going on 18, Alan gets his driver’s license. I’m have just finished up a degree in Computer Sciences. I’m doing a little research project to see what kinds of information can be had over the internet. Driver’s license? WA? Bingo! $4.50? What a deal! I don’t have to prove anything, just send my address and state that I’m his father??? No way!
Three days later, I have a copy of Alan’s license in my hand. 6’2″, blue eyes, 150lbs. He’s scrawny, but tall! He beat me, by about a half a foot!
Two days later, there is a 4 page letter in the mail to him. Telling him about his family, my side of it, and where he can get in touch with me
1 month and a week later, I have a one page letter from Alan, “I resent that you invaded my privacy!… Ya, I saw all those letters you sent over the years. It was interesting, looks like you have a really messed up family… I was told that when I was ready, I’d be told about my birth situation. I don’t know why you want to bother me with all that now!…No, nobody said anything bad about you, ever! In fact (St. Cia) grandma kept every thing for me. Here’s your check back. You probably need it more than I do…It seems like all your problems have to do with money! And, I don’t want to have anything to do with that!”
OOOOOOuch! Not again!!!
Name: T.D. Oakes Location: Ogden, UT
Email Addr: Flamejob@Angelfire.com
Children/Birth Date: Mariah 7 Jordan 10 Korriagan 13
Date Separated: Sep 1999
Same old same old … Phony exparte, phony sex and abuse charges. I proved this with pages out of her own journal in her own handwriting that she lied to gain temp custody and all of our possessions. On a document such as an ex-parte it clearly states that if it found to have been used to abuse the system that is can be treated as a felony…WELL ITS ABOUT TIME FOR THESE WITCHES TO BURN!
All of my possessions both pre and post marital were burned , sold, or given away, SHE BROUGHT IN PHONY WITNESSES TO LIE AND SAY IT WAS ALL JUNK….So I have had to start over completely from scratch and she has even came over and stolen my new stuff from my new residence, when I called the police they basically laughed in my face (thank you so Ogden P.D.) They would do nothing and just like the court (another unfunny joke) simply shrugged and said “what do you want us to do its a civil matter”
After two and half years I am at my wits end. I never understood why some one would go postal but I do now…they are left with nothing to loose but more of an already tiny paycheck. My estranged ex some how even got Joe Prantil an evaluator to print unsubstantiated statements in the custody evaluation and he conveniently left out things I had proof of….The woman even tried to lie on the M.M.P.I. “to make herself look better than she really is” Joe Prantil new she was a malicious manipulator and still took her side..
What does it take… All men who are reading this should take a militia stance against this tyranny…Two and half years ago I had three healthy happy well adjusted children whom I played Mr. MOM to for nearly seven years…now in her custody two of them are in psychotherapy, one is out of control and hates/disrespcts and is openly hateful to women including my wife to be…and no I didn’t leave the wife for her…I stayed in a sexless, controlled marriage with a hateful drugged out freak faithfully for 11 years…never stepped out on her even though she did so on me…
Patra (the wife to be) came after two years of shamelessly sinful frolic… Something I felt was well deserved and she is a woman of worth only a fool could pass up. She’s crazy sexy and hippy cool. If you are reading this and biled in hate read on. I was feeling the same way…I was starved by my estranged wife so badly that spoke to no one, I knew nothing but masturbation as far as sex went, my only outlet was writing..that was the least of it I was also starved for affection. that was partially requited by a close loving relationship with my children.
Dianna (the eStranged wife) starved me intellectually, physically, and emotionally for 6 years before I said enough is enough, I cut off the physical part because she had brought me home the crabs and clamidia on two separate occasions. The relationship was like being in a deprivation tank….dark and devoid. My point? If you are angry don’t deny yourself too much.. I have rediscovered sex, a decent cook and an amusing companion to say the least.. Its not perfect but thats what makes it great….I lived with a perfect idiot for 13 years…its nice to have something human in my life and I highly recommend it…If not for Patra…I would have indeed gone “postal”
Yeah the judicial system….its a joke and I am not laughing…Listen up whoever you are. I sat in your courtrooms and chambers while you told me I have no right to speak…you would not look at proof..well who the hell are you! You taunt a tormented sleeping giant……keep poking this giant with your pen or gavel..its time to fire the whole system get rid of old dead wood and create a system the actually works on the pricipals of JUSTICE..remember JUSTICE? you say you stand for JUSTICE…we will see. “