Below are more stories of families unjustly separated by the “system” without representation of counsel and/or a Jury of their peers (our goals for reform). The starting page, with an index, is here. These people have volunteered their stories so that everyone can understand the true damage being done, and also, so those who may be experiencing your own personal “nightmare” may realize — you are not alone! We want you to hear them in their own words. We can’t vouch for the accuracy of these tales and we hope you’ll understand the bitterness and frustration you’ll read. The anger is directed at people involved, but the real source of all these issues is a system that has failed to recognize and protect fundamental Family Rights. Many times it encourages & rewards needless conflict between parents.
Name: Sam Johns Location: Jackson, TN
Email Addr: realworld11@jaxnet.net
Children/Birth Date: Molly (1975) & Leah Johns (1971)
Date Separated: 1981
We desperately need an attorney as soon as possible to represent us in filing a fraud, extortion, white collar crime, and conspiracy suit. WE have proof of everything. There are approx 15 officials involved. There is a lot more but the story was already so long that we did not mention the other issues that we have documented.
My husband has been involved with a child support case in Arkansas for many many years. It was permanently assigned to OCSE in 1996 until the ex closed the case in 1999 in the middle of the trial which started in 1998. ( We have lived in Tennessee for 23 years) His 2 children are now 29 and 33 years old with 3 children of their own. He got a $14,300 child support judgment back in 1986 which according to an Arkansas Child Support Document shows this was paid off in Nov 1993 yet Arkansas OCSE “forgot” to file a satisfaction.
His ex in 1999 found out that it was not recorded as paid off and she then closed the case with OCSE and went to an attorney who has represented her for years and is very powerful in Arkansas. They made up numbers which my husband denied owing in court and then her attorney along with our attorney signed a waiver for the first day of trial not be transcribed. The transcriptionist was there transcribing but denies being there. She even smiled and spoke to us that day!! We did not know about this waiver until after the court when we found it at the courthouse.(It is now stamped as if it was filed before the first morning of the trial. When we first found it it was not stamped as filed. This waiver date is the day that we denied owing anything else so he had to dispose of it! )
This waiver helped to deny us of our due process of an appeal. Then this opposing attorney typed up an order and had the judge sign it stating that the plaintiff and defendant through their attorneys agree that my husband owes over $40,800 in arrearages from this $14,340 1986 judgment that we have all of our cancelled checks to prove has been paid off!! The attorneys did not sign this order but it was “stamped” only with the judges signature! There was NEVER an agreement by the parties!.
( We DO have a letter that this attorney wrote the judge saying he did not think our attorney would sign it yet it was filed with the judges signature the next day! We were ordered to pay $5,000 lump sum to the ex or for my husband to spend 6 months in jail! We went and borrowed the $5000 to keep him from having to go to jail. We then went and got a new attorney to file our appeal even though we only had the last day of the trial because the first day had been destroyed (due to the waiver the attorneys had signed.) The new attorney said he had never heard of the ex`s attorney. This new attorney then filed our appeal a day late and sent us a letter saying the appellate court threw it out because it was late! We filed a complaint on this new attorney .
The ex`s attorney (who had recently served as chairman of the Ethics committee) wrote a letter on the new attorneys behalf concerning our complaint and the committee only gave him a warning!!! ( This new attorney then said the ex`s attorney had been a family friend for years! ) We continued paying ex $300 month but we realized that we were approx $13,000 overpaid and my husband became very ill so we stopped paying in March 2005.
Then in 2006 they took my husband back into court and they got a judge to have an expedited hearing in a little room in the courthouse. They called it Circuit Court but Circuit Court was being held upstairs by a lady judge and our court was the only one being held in that little room. The judge (chosen by her attorney) drove from out of town just to hear our case. When spectators came in they were immediately sent out.. The judge refused to look at our proof of payments and just said all we had was a paper from OCSE and they had a paper showing what we actually owed! It was figured by a man who had his accountant license taken away and was sent to prison several years ago for money laundering!
He had been the ex wife`s boyfriend for years and has been a car salesman since getting out of prison. All of these people knew this was totally fraud yet the judge ruled that my husband could pay a lump sum of $15,000 plus at least $500 month until this fraudulant $48,000 was paid off or spend 6 months in jail! He wanted us to report back to the Court about a month later with the $15,000 or my husband to come prepared to stay in jail.
We tried getting to the courthouse on court day even though we did not have the $15,000 and had no possible way of getting it. We were worried about having the gas money to get there. Our car started running hot and we turned around and e- mailed our attorney telling her our circumstances. She went on to court for us. The judge then ordered the $48,000 plus $1000 to her attorney to be paid in a lump sum or my husband go to jail!! (We had already paid our attorney $7400., which we had to borrow, and were totally broke!) We do not even have $48.00 much less $48,000!! We have absolutely no way to get this kind of money. We have been in real estate for 20 years and houses are just not selling!! Our grown daughter is bringing us food for survival and she is on government assistance trying to raise 3 kids on her own.
In our testimony we told the judge about us losing our Real Estate building to foreclosure (where we have run our company for 16 years), We also told about having our car and van being repossessed. We are having to borrow an old 1990 car from my brother. He has taped the back glass in with wide black tape and if it rains we just get wet. It has huge hail damage ALL over it and the top is severly torn all over. The paint is coming off on all four sides and of course it has no air. We have no retirement or health insurance. His ex has a great retirement, good health insurance and a good income at a college where she has worked for years. She drives a nice like new car, wears designer clothes,and lives in one of Blytheville`s most exclusive neighborhoods. She takes a vacation at least every year. We have not had a vacation in 14 years!!
Never in all of these years has any financial means EVER been shown. We do not even have the money to pay our bills each month and we have not bought any clothes in several years. We are considering filing a chapter 7 bankruptcy because we have absolutely $0 equity in anything. We are totally broke! We appealed our case to the Arkansas Court of Appeals and they affirmed the case June 25th 2008 . We cannot prove it but it is our belief that the ex`s attorney somehow did the same thing he did with the judge in 1999 and showed the folks at the appellant court (which he knew well) these fake documents as if we owed this money.
If my husband goes to jail or if they garnish his check I will lose my home of 23 years to foreclosure and even though it has no equity it is still home and it`s all I have now. My husband recently got a job working in a restaurant making about $300.UNDER enough each month to pay our bills. The ex wife has told their children that she knows this case is illegal but the courts has said she can get this money and she WILL get it or my husband WILL go to jail!! We sent approx $8400 in checks (made out to her) directly to her attorney one year (as requested by this attorney), He gave them to her bypassing OCSE and they never reported them to OCSE and the $5000 we paid for the purge in 1999 was also never reported to OCSE.
I sent copies of these cancelled checks along with a copy of the cashiers check for $5000 to Little Rock OCSE but they were never recorded in our file there. We also have a “certified” copy from Little Rock OCSE from several years ago where all of our checks were not shown!! It does not even match their printout! The Blytheville Courthouse does NOT show the $5000 in their printout of what`s been paid even though it was paid to them (and they STILL show a $0 balance without these payments) If it had been recorded it would show us being overpaid! They did make a note of the $5000 in the docket book. If they had just those payments to ex with the $5000 alone recorded we would be $13,000 overpaid in their records! The ex`s attorney has now filed a document in our file in the courthouse as if it came from OCSE with these fake figures being owed! Blytheville OCSE as well as Little Rock now say they have nothing in our file because the case has been closed .They can only give a payment history (which does not show all checks) and which does not give a balance at all !
If only they had filed this satisfaction in Nov 1993 when it was paid off we would not have lost everything and we would not be going through this awful nightmare!! Her attorney is so powerful that he can get away with all of this theft and fraud and get others to conspire with him to pull off this extortion. He is so powerful that nobody will go against him in Arkansas so we HAVE to get it before the federal people so that we can prove this fraud!! Her attorney even somehow got my personal & company tax return years ago without my knowledge. (It was for a year that I was not even married to my husband until Oct that year!) How he got it is beyond me but I have had identity theft ever since! We just need someone federally to audit this child support case so that this terrible mess can be resolved proving we do not owe this money so we can go on with our life and my husband will not have to fear jail or garnishment for this money that we do not owe.
Isn`t this what is called debtors prison–when you are forced to go to jail if you cannot pay a fraudulant debt? If we were to have to pay what`s been ordered we would be paying about $100,000 (counting what we have already paid and what is now ordered) for this $14,300 judgement from 1986.! Anyone should be able to tell that on a $14,300 judgment at 10% interest for 22 years ,even if we had paid nothing– (which we have paid $39,600 on)–this $48,000 additional amount as just affirmed by the Court Of Appeals is totally impossible!! I`m just thankful we have ALL of our cancelled checks to prove our innocence! We do not have any more money we can use for an attorney. Folks in Arkansas will not help us because of the power of this ex`s attorney who has held several important offices in the state. We first met our most recent attorney in the courthouse just a few minutes before our trial (This is the one who filed our appeal). Even though we paid her $7300 and she has billed us for over $4000 more she was always too busy to sit down with us.
To this day she has NEVER had a sit down meeting with us. We have no idea what her personal office looks like! We did first talk to her father who is also an attorney and he immediately turned it over to her. She only used the records from the files at the courthouse which is the very fraud we were fighting against! We left our cancelled checks as our proof of payment with the secretary at her office but never saw the attorney there.
The only correspondence we have had with her was every few months she would e-mail us or text message us (most of the time around midnight). We would go for months wondering what was going on! We did not have any idea what she filed with the Court of Appeals until after she had it filed. We were then VERY shocked from the things she did not mention! It was as if she had never been to our trial and did not know what the case was even about!! (Could she have possibly got into the scam with them???) We found our Court Of Appeals affirmed case on the internet and we e-mailed her that we found it but we have STILL not heard a thing back from her.
We have absolutely nobody to help us now since we are broke! I do not expect to hear anything from you on this either because I know of the fear people have when it is this many important Arkansas Officials involved in a case like this. (There are at least 15 well known Arkansas officials involved) but I know it is long and I really do appreciate you taking the time to read it. I am not just another crazy person with another crazy story. This case has cost me my entire life. It has caused us to lose all confidence in our judicial system. It is my belief that this case should be given strict attention just as Paula Casey did in 1998 on an Arkansas Child Support case when she brought down several important people in Arkansas. It should become a case that is well known in Arkansas Corruption. We are in contact with the media and several other important people and organizations and will not give up until something is done! Your attention or any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Name: Jessi Wright Location: New Orleans, LA
Email Addr: Jessi_Wright_Legal_Hostage@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: James “Peanut” Wright 12/06 Justin “Just” Wright 03/12/08
Date Separated: 7/29/2007
On June 30 2008 my husband paid a fine to the court for a simple matter not related to our children. On August 19 2008 I recieved a phone call from my husband telling me he was arrested for nonpayment of that fine and was to be held in jail overnight until he could see the judge. He asked me to find the paperwork and bring it in at 8am when he saw the judge.
So I found a babysitter and worked all night and got off at 7am on the 20th. I spent the next 30 min trying to find that paperwork and then went to court empty handed. When I got to court I found out that he had 2 court hearings that day, one for the traffic violation he was stopped for and the other one was to be at 3pm about the fine. So I started trying to find anyone who could help us in that matter. I made someone really angry (I found out later that that court has had an extensive history of theft of fines).
Well I came back at 3pm, as I was instructed to by the lady I made angry, to go to court and talk to the public defender for my husband and try and explain. I had a friend with me and my 2 babies. When I went into the courthouse they informed me that children were not allowed inside so my friend kept the kids outside while I ran in for just a few moments.
The public defender talked to the judge’s assistant right away and I was just waiting on conformation that I could repay the fine and get my husband out of jail. The whole amount of time had only been about 18 min when I was called out of the courtroom by the police. In the lobby of the courthouse I found my friend and my babies. I was informed that because it was a warm day that the kids could not be outside and that because they were that OCS would have to be called as a normal procedure.
As I sat down next to my friend he told me that my older baby had a poopy diaper and he was about to change it when the police had come up on him. So I sent him back to the car for a diaper. I knew that he couldn’t have a dirty diaper for any amount of time because he had a diaper rash (I had even made a doctor’s appointment for that day for the diaper rash because it hadn’t healed within a week like normal). Because the police wouldn’t let us leave his sight I changed the diaper right there in the lobby. The officer noticed the diaper rash but didn’t say anything about it.
Well within 2 min of OCS being called the lady was already there. I thought it was kind of odd but glad that it would be over quickly and then we could head off to the doctor. Well the OCS lady and I talked for a few moments and then the court officer came out and told me that the judge had ok’ed my request and just go pay the fine again and then bring back the paperwork when we found it for a refund. So the OCS lady told me to go pay it and then we could finish our conversation. I left my babies in the care of my friend for just a few more moments to go pay and when I got back the OCS lady had a whole new attitude.
She started off yelling at me saying that I was giving my babies spoiled milk. I was very polite because I have heard that alot. As soon as people smell that formula (Nuetramagen) they think its spoiled. It has a rotten smell fresh from the can. Well I smiled and told her that I had just made that bottle about 20 min before and that it was just the normal smell of that formula. This lady kept yelling at me and calling me a liar and that I was trying to poison my children and on and on. So at some point in all this yelling I finally said “No, Now listen to me,”. Well she wouldn’t even let me finish what I was saying she just jumped up and said “I dont have to listen to you! Your a bad mother! I’m taking your kids! You will never see them again!”
And stormed out the door. She got the officer to keep us detained. So I walked back into the courtroom and asked for a public defender. She was busy so the guy I asked asked me why I needed one. The only thing I could get out in my sobbing was “They are trying to take my kids”. Well I guess I said it louder then a whisper because everyone started looking. I ran back out to my kids and friend and we were just sitting there with them saying this is going to work out when they call the boss he is going to give them right back, its all a big misunderstanding. All the people in the lobby were stopping and asking what was going on and my friend was having to explain because I was just sobbing.
Then a probation officer that overheard me in the courtroom came out to find out what was going on. When she found out she ran and found me the only lawyer she could find that worked with children. Unfortunately that lawyer only worked on criminal cases so all she could do was give me phone numbers. The lawyer took us off to the side and when the officer saw that it was an attorney he grabbed the kids and said “we’re taking them now you can stay or you can go”. Well of course I was going with my babies. Well when we got to the office that’s when the verbal abuse got extream. I have never been cused like that in my life.
They had the babies sitting behind a glass where they could see me and cry but I couldn’t get to them. And every person in that office came out and cussed me. I was told that they would make sure the judge ordered me to have a hysterectomy so that I would never have the opportunity to harm a child again. They said that my babies were starving (Peanut my 20 month old at the time weighted 35 lbs and Just wRight my 5 month old weighted 25 lbs). They said that they were medically neglected because of the diaper rash. I tried to tell them all the doctor’s information and have them call the doctor. They wouldn’t do it.
They kept saying that I was making it up that there was no such doctor in the state. They said that because Just wRight has a birth defect that it wasn’t a birth defect but it was where we had shaken him and his neck was sprained. I never raised my voice to them and I never said a mean or nasty word to them I just kept saying “Thank you for your concern, it makes me feel really good that someone besides family has my babies health and wellbeing in mind”. I kept thinking if I am calm and polite it can’t get worse.
Well while all this was going on, my husband still waiting to be released from jail, was informed that they were taking the kids. He was talking to the officer in charge about it when the same officer that had taken my kids came in the cell. He put on the chains like he was about to move my husband to another cell, but instead of moving him he started beating him. He pepper sprayed him a few times then he beat him in the head and kicked him in the ribs multiple times. My husband never fought back because he didn’t want them to say he had a temper and give them a reason to take the kids. After the officer came back to me he started cusing me using the “F” word. I finally said “Please don’t say that it insults me and my faith and right now I’m praying”. He then went on to say “I don’t give a “blanking blank”, this is “blank blank blanking” personal!” I’m not sure why it was personal.
Well at that point after they told me I would never see my kids again, I gave them a long list of allergies my kids had and then I started having chest pain and ended up going to the hospital (thankfully it was just stress and not a blood clot that had broke free I was on blood thinners my whole pregnancy for blood clots). My husband started making calls first thing the next morning (we were thinking maybe I had made somebody really mad and he should handle everything while I was in the background). Well they set up a court date for the babies on August 22 2008.
They had all my husband’s information and knew that he had to be in court at the exact same time for the traffic ticket he had. They knew that he couldn’t make it to both so his choices were go to court about the babies and then go to jail for missing his traffic court or go to traffic court and lose the babies. Well that’s not a very hard choice. He went to court for the babies while I was back in the hospital and then we just hoped to beg for mercy from traffic court. We were very very very luck that all this had happened in the courthouse.
We ended up having a lawyer (We are not sure who the actual lady was but we believe that it was some lady that I just thought was trying to be supportive of me). We believe she had listened to everything that was going on and then made it a point to call the DA, explain everything she had witnessed and then show up in court before my husband ever got there. She and the DA had all the paperwork filed and signed by the judge before my husband or OCS could show up. When my husband got there the DA walked over to him and said “I don’t want any part of this, your kids are being released as we speak and will be delivered to your home. This whole case has been dismissed.” We are the lucky few, but the damaged has been done. Peanut can’t be out of our sight he cries when we go to the bathroom or at nap time. And both the boys are bleeding from allergies.
After all the warnings I gave them about allergies they ended up feeding the boys everything that was on that list of do not feed. Unfortunately there is nothing we can do about the bleeding it will just have to take it’s course. All we can do is give them over the counter pain medicine. I am so afraid to let the boys out of the house now. Everytime anybody even looks at my boys I freak out and start looking for escape routes and if I don’t see any I look for places I can hide the boys until the “threat” is gone (not to worry I haven’t actually hid them anywhere). I intend to make it my life long goal to never let this happen to another family. My first step is to try and have these people that were directly involved fired and jailed for the harm they placed upon my babies (We are sure that it was a set up because the lady I made mad told me exactly when to be in the court where to sit and that I would be allowed to bring my babies). Maybe that will be an example to these people that think they can have a power trip and rip apart families and lives.
Name: Jeff Tennis Location: Ontario, CA
Email Addr: usctennis1993@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Chad (1993), Luke (1998), Peri (2000)
Date Separated: 7/29/2007
Ongoing custody issues — mother has Chad 100% and is positioning to take the other two.
I was married in June 1990, we had three children, separated in 2003 and divorced in 2005. In the State of California we have what are called 730 custody evaluations where psychologists evaluate parents for “fitness”. The psychologist appointed to conduct mine did a lousy job and is currently being reviewed by the California Board of Psychology and the California Medical Board. Parents in California can have their 730’s reviewed by another psychologists and this is called a 733 evaluation.
My 733 was glowing and identified numerous factual errors in the initial 730, although this guy did not write anything until 14 months after initial contact and a few days before custody was awarded to my ex. I filed a complaint against that psychologist, and it’s now sitting in the Office of the State Attorney General. For the benefit of our kids we must all fight corruption, incompetence, bias and dereliction on all fronts.
Name: Victor Avidor Location: Newark, NJ
Email Addr: Victor_Avidor889@hotmail.com
Children/Birth Date: Katelynn, 1993
Date Separated: 2000
No contact, lives in Florida with divorced maternal grandmother, possibly. I have the strangest case around, I dare to say. I am married with 2 kids.
When I was in college about 15 years ago, my then girlfriend became pregnant. She gave birth to a girl and moved out (we lived together). About 3 months later, social services became involved with the police because they discovered she had abused the baby in serious ways.
I had physical custody of her at that time, signed legal documentation with the state to protect her and had a court document adjudicating me the baby’s father. (the court lost these docs, but I retained them).
Young and naive at the time, I allowed my daughter to stay with her divorced maternal grandfather in his and his ex-wife’s NJ home. I was an active part of my daughter’s life and provided what money I could afford at the time to support her. Guess what happened? The divorced maternal grandparents got together and applied for full legal custody of my daughter without my knowledge or consent.
—- How did they do this??? They simply went to court and signed SWORN documents denying any knowledge of my whereabouts! (while they hosted me just about every other day in their home with my daughter!!!!!!!!!!)
It gets more shocking — the divorced grandparents (the grandfather passed away 3 years ago) then proceeded to sue me for child support from Florida and the nightmare began!
Getting custody of my child was a lost cause because the states all have competing jurisdiction and lawyers began sucking what little money I had. (They are truly sociopaths that feed on the misfortunes of others. (The only ones worse are the actual judges that rule on a whim my lawyer told me to drop him from the case and get another because he thought the judge would rule against me as my lawyer had personally offended him in the beginning of the case). I was also told that the judge (now retired) played golf in a country club near the divorced grandparents home and had a rapport with the grandfather. Land of the free???????? I wrote to the courts about this. Somehow they did not address the issue now, I wonder why that is? After two tortuous years of letter writing to the highest authorities – the judge heard my case. I was in a wheelchair at the time. The judge apologized to me for all my trouble/illness and VACATED the child support order. I was so exhausted I left without speaking my mind.
I would like to know why the grandparents were not punished for so brazenly lying to the court. When you lie to the court isn’t that perjury? I had canceled checks, dated pictures and videos – everything! But, the judge just said, “Mr. Avidor (that’s me) we have so many cases we cannot keep track of all of them… we did not know who you were. (what about the court’s own docs adjudicating me the father?) We will be praying for your recovery…yeah, right!
It has been five years since His Excellency’s ruling. In all that time I have spoken to my daughter once and received maybe 6 or 7 letters from her tops.
The workers in the court were as outraged as me. They saw very clearly the undeniable pattern of deceit and perjury committed when I displayed the canceled checks and other docs.. I was advised to get on with my life (despite the loss of my child) and be thankful I do not have any wage garnishments. It was never about the money, anyway.
I often think what would have happened to the grandparents if they were black. (I am Caucasian).
I am so effected by the insomnia and emotional meltdown I endured while being diagnosed with MS (incorrectly) and being threatened by the courts that I am in serious need of therapy.
Could you kindly forward this e-mail to as many people as possible?
I never believed in real evil until now. What is devastating to me is how utterly corrupt and evil many of these family courts are. I think that my letters to the high court judges and my confinement to a wheelchair ultimately shamed the court into at least vacating the child support judgment so cleverly initiated against me from Florida.
This has been “over” for 5 years now (soon 6) but the enormous anger, frustration and emotional pain – loss, and separation has taken a terrible toll on my emotional well being.
Name: Kathie Davis Location: Lawrence, KS
Email Addr: kathieannedavis@hotmail.com
Children/Birth Date: Jeffrey, born in 1992, Julie born in 1994, Keri born in 1997
Date Separated: Feb, 1998
I haven’t seen Keri since Feb of 1998, Jeffrey and Julie are currnetly in Louisiana and I am allowed NO CONTACT.
I signed custody of my three children, Jeffrey, Julie and Keri, over to my mother in March of 1998. Within one month the youngest child, Keri, was missing. It has been seven years, during which my mother has drawn benefits from the state of Louisiana on her. I have been fighting for my children ever since I signed those papers.
On July 13, 2002, my mother and my stepfather (a Louisiana law enforcement officer) brought my two oldest kids to me here in Kansas. They have lived with me for nine months. The 3rd child, who is now eight years old, I haven’t seen since she was 13 months old. My parents SOLD her for $35,000 to another police officer and his wife who live in Sylva, North Carolina . I have never been able to get ANY attention to the fact that a child was sold. I had surgery on Monday (4/14/03) and the next day, while I was still in the hospital, the Ellis County Sheriff Department in Hays, Kansas sent an officer to my children’s school and removed them from school, they were then placed in protective custody and I was not allowed to see them. The next morning my step father picked them up and returned to Louisiana with them. My mother had called the Ellis County Attorney and claimed that I had come to visit the kids over the Christmas holiday (2002) and stated that I left to take them to the store to buy them something, and never returned with them (kidnapped them).
However, I have DOCUMENTED proof that the children have been living with me since last July, including school records that place them here all school year. I also have proof that she brought them to me. The county attorney didn’t ask any questions and informed me that it was a “professional courtesy” among law enforcement officials that they help each other out, he simply said, “ok” and sent my kids with my step father. This is the same man that molested not only me, but my sister as well for most of our early childhood, and then came to me totally naked when I was 15 years old and was putting his hands all over me and such until I ran out of the room, into my bedroom, and locked the door until my mother returned home from work. When I told her what had happened she said to me “How dare you accuse him of that when all he has ever done was be a father to you.”
My mother and this same man locked my sister and me inside a mobile home in January of 1980, when I was in the second grade, and then set the mobile home on fire and simply drove away. When the smoke woke my sister up, she got me up, we tried to get out, but the deadbolt on BOTH doors had been turned around so you had to have a key to get out instead of in. The windows had been screwed shut from the outside as well. My sister, who is two years older than I, then proceeded to bust a window with a kitchen chair, knocked the shards of glass out with her Barbie doll, and helped me climb out then she climbed out, too. We lived out in the country, so there were no neighbors to run to for help, instead when the school bus ran that morning, we got on it and went to school, still wearing our pajamas. Nobody has ever investigated this matter, and I am not sure how much proof can be accumulate this many years later, but I will not stop until these people pay for their crimes and my children are returned home to me. I tried everything that I could to stop them from being taken away, but I was powerless against the law.
My mother passed away on June 15, 2003. I was not notified of her death until June 24, 2003. I left to go and pick up my children on June 27, 2003. For my own safety, I contacted the Morehouse Parish Sheriffs Department when I first got into town . I asked them to escort me out to pick up my children. I showed them the custody papers that do NOT have my stepfathers name on them at all. They told me that they would go with me to get my children. I was following the officer (Sgt. Hall) to the house and one mile before we got to the house, he pulled his police car over and so I also stopped. He then informed me that “I was just told not to get involved.” I was devastated, I begged, I pleaded, I cried, I screamed, I cussed, and all of it was useless. I refused to allow the officer to leave the site until he told me WHY. He said that he had called the sheriff from his car and the sheriff told him NOT to help me.
I told the officer that this man was of NO relation to my children, I told him about him molesting me and my sister as children, I told him about my youngest daughter being SOLD, I told him that my children were in danger and that they HAD to be removed from that house. He replied “if I get involved I could loose my pension.” I was appalled, how could a law enforcement officer who had taken an oath to protect and serve put his pension before the safety of my children. I demanded an answer to that and was informed that I had NO RIGHTS TO MY OWN CHILDREN!
I left there and went to the neighboring parish and asked them what I should do. I was then informed that had they lived in that parish I would have my children. The truth about the whole situation is simply that my stepfather is a close friend of the sheriff where he lives. I then asked who was the sheriff’s boss and was told “nobody.” I then asked “so in other words Danny McGrew (the sheriff) is God in Morehouse Parish?” and the answer I was given was “basically yes.” I was sent away again without my babies.
I have been doing some research and I have found that my stepfather has been using three different social security numbers, and my mother had been using two different ones. I have also found that US Code Title 42 Section 408 makes it a felony to do this, but yet again, it is nobody’s jurisdiction. I also know that they had sued numerous companies for workers’ comp. for fake injuries, along with a couple of other fake lawsuits; it has been their way of life. In speaking with my ex-husband, I learned that the entire time that the children lived with me he was still continuing to pay monthly child support payments to my mother, who kept the money and spent it. These people are career con artists and something needs to be done to protect my babies
On the second trip to try to get my children, this time I went prepared with a legal pleading that I prepared myself, and an appointment to see a judge. When I saw the judge, he told me that the papers that I had prepared were not done correctly, and that I would have to have an attorney . He did refer me to an attorney, who agreed to help me. This attorney filed a paper with the courts to have the children removed from my stepfathers home and brought to the courthouse the very next morning, and the judge held a hearing that same morning while the children were being held in a small room in the court house. During this hearing my stepfather lied to the judge and told him that I had kidnapped my children during the summer of 2002, however he couldn’t explain why there was never a police report filed. He also accused me of beating my children, not feeding them, and sending them to school dirty. All of which is a lie. The judge agreed to set it up for another hearing in order to allow Tom Smith to get an attorney.
The hearing was set to be held on October 20, 2003, but yet again, ordered that I leave my children with this monster. I have plenty of witnesses to the fact that I am a very good mother and I do NOT mistreat my children, however, all of these witnesses live here in Kansas and cannot afford to go to Louisiana to go to court. The Uniform Child Custody Act of 1997 states that in order for a custody trial to be held, it must be held in the child’s home state, home state is defined as “the last state that a child lived in for a consecutive six month period of time prior to the filing date.” In our case that would be Kansas, the children will have been gone for six months on October 15, 2003; I filed this case on September 20, 2005. The next court date was set for October 20, 2003, I took my children’s’ natural father with me. I also took my children’s’ natural grandmother, my aunt, and my sister, and a cousin.
During that trip to court, I learned that my children told the judge last time that they love me, they miss me, and they want to come home. This time, an attorney that was appointed by the judge to represent the children testified that my children didn’t want to see me, didn’t want to talk to me, & didn’t want me in their lives. My attorney asked him one question, “What would be your conclusion if I told you that just four weeks ago, those same children told this judge that they loved their mother, missed her, & wanted to go home with her?” his response was “I would be very shocked and I would have to say that the children have been severely coached.”
Another point brought up this time was the kidnapping allegations. My stepfather could not “remember” the date that I “kidnapped” them. He did however know that it was “a Saturday in July 2002” In July both of my oldest children have birthdays, and luckily for me, they both fell on a Saturday in 2002. Julie’s on the 6th and Jeffrey’s on the 20th. My stepfather’s attorney placed me at their house in Bastrop, LA on Saturday, July 13, 2002 at exactly 9am by having my half-brother testify that he spoke with my mother on the phone during his break at work that day and said that I was talking in the background telling my mother to tell him I said hello. They said I was driving a dark colored car with Kansas tags. The problem with that is that I live 16 hours away from there, yet I didn’t get off of work Friday, July 12, 2002 until midnight. Physically impossible for me to be there unless I flew, yet, if I had flown, how was I driving a car with Kansas tags?
They also said that they didn’t hear from me after that, that I simply disappeared. I have records from my job, and my landlord showing that I did not move nor did I change my job. I also have telephone records showing that I was calling their house and staying on the phone for anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes at least once a week.
When they were asked why a police report was never filed on the kidnapping, the response from my stepfather was “My wife loved her daughter so much she didn’t want to see her go to jail” yet when asked why I wasn’t notified when my mother died his response was “My wife didn’t want that little bitch to know.”
Needless to say, I had documentation that everything that they accused me of was a total lie. The 3rd day that we were in court when we got back from the lunch recess, as I walked into the court room, I saw my stepfather coming out of the judge’s office WITH the judge but nobody else. When court convened the judge said that he was leaving the district and didn’t have time to finish hearing the case. My stepfather’s attorney had finished her case. She had already cross-examined me and my ex-husband. The only thing left to do was for my attorney to question me, my ex husband, and my stepfather.
The judge said that he would have to set yet another date, and yet again, my kids were to stay there with that monster. I went downstairs to the clerk’s office to get the new date, like had been done in the past, yet when I got down off the elevator and to the office, the judge had beat me there, and instead of setting the date then, like had been done in the past, the clerk informs me that they won’t set the next date until the judge gets back to the district. I informed her and my attorney that I had spent all my money on these trips, and that due to that my phone was about to be disconnected. I made sure they both had my address and I told them both that I would be calling them asking about the date.
I returned home to Kansas and called there at least once a week, sometimes twice a week. I called on Friday, December 12, 2003 and was told that no date had been set yet. I called back on Tuesday, December 16, 2003 and was informed that court had been held on Monday, December 15, 2003 and that the Judge ruled against me on the grounds I didn’t “bother” to show up. I have since been unable to get ANY further information and my own attorney has YET to speak to me. I have tried calling his office, writing letters to him, and still no response.
Since all this has happened, I have been doing EVERYTHING I could possibly imagine that might help. I cannot afford to pay another attorney. I always get the same response, basically, everyone agrees that I deserve at least my FAIR chance in court, but I have yet to meet anyone willing to do anything to help me get there.
This monster is making my 11-year-old daughter sleep in the bed with him; please help me save my children!
Something here is WAY wrong!
My two oldest children are currently located at 7277 Bridgett Lane, Bastrop, LA 71220, as for Keri, all I have are the names Gary & Lisha Shular of Sylva, North Carolina.
I have done a lot of my own research and I found a photo of my daughter on this web page…http://www.thesylvaherald.com/081904/html/celebrating_fontana_s_60th.html
I also found this contact information for Gary Shular… http://sheriff.jacksonnc.org/html/civil_process.html
I can be reached at……….. (785)979=0012
kathieannedavis@hotmail.com
1121 E 13th Apt B-8
Lawrence, Kansas 66044
Name: Raymond Goossens Location: Viola, IL
Email Addr: illinoisdeputy777@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Raina, 2001
Date Separated: 2001
Many legal motions in court now, also custody hearing. I WAS FALSELY ACCUSED OF MOLESTING MY 3 YR OLD DAUGHTER. I AM A POLICE OFFICER OF 11YRS. I HAVE BEEN CLEARED OF EVERYTHING, AND NOW EVEN THE DCFS INVESTIGATOR SAID HE NOW SEES HE MADE A MISTAKE. I’M INNOCENT. I HAVE SPENT $23,000 SO FAR AND COUNTING. I HAVE BEEN SEEN BY 2 PSYCHOLOGISTS, BEEN CLEARED. TWO JUDGES HAVE CLEARED ME, SO I’M WAITING FOR MY CUSTODY HEARING , AS I AM NOW GOING FOR FULL CUSTODY. I AM WAITING ALSO FOR A CUSTODY EVAL that is costing me $3,000 but will show me ex has some issues. Who is suffering is my baby
Name: Jeremiah Holder Location: APO, AE 09175
Email Addr: jeremy@redondowa.com
Children/Birth Date: Jordan Wesley Holder/1994, Kyle Louis Holder/1999
Date Separated: May 5, 2000
My story is long and complex, but the center of my story is my effort to have my children returned to their home in Germany.
In May, 2000 my (ex)wife left with our two young children from our home in Germany for a six week vacation to Mt. Vernon, WA to visit with her parents. 3 days after she arrived in WA, my (ex)wife informed me that she would not be returning to Germany.
I had no idea what my legal rights were, but for the next several weeks I pleaded and groveled for the return of my (ex)wife and our children. Eventually, I was told, “If you want to talk to me, then talk to my lawyer.”
Since it was now clear that she had no intention of working something out between us, I contacted my local JAG office to see what my options were. I was told to file for divorce in my “home of record”.
**Note: This is horrible advice. A military members “home of record” has no bearing on child custody. According to the UCCJEA, a child must have been living in the state 6 consecutive months prior to custody papers being filed in order for their to be subject matter jurisdiction.**
I immediately filed papers for divorce and asked the CA court to order the return of our children to our home in Germany. I informed the court that my ex had moved out our home and the case should be considered a “move away”.
We were immediately sent to mediation. Upon arriving, I was asked by the mediator, “How are you going to arrange for visitation?” I was shocked. We had just walked into the room and it was already a foregone conclusion that I would be the parent “visiting”. I asked the mediator, “How is it that we can be talking visitation when we haven’t even addressed custody yet?” She replied, “You’re in the military, right?” “Yes.” “You live in Germany, right?” “Yes”…”Then the kids stay with the mother.”
That was the total of my custody battle. I arranged that day for some visitation, because my ex refused to allow me any contact without a court order. While exercising that visitation, I found a new lawyer (within three days) who informed me that we went about it all wrong and in fact, California lacked SMJ, and we should have filed a Hague Convention petition.
That was August, 2000. I cannot go into all the details, but since that time, I have been through the CA appellate court, where they made an unpublished opinion which made (not necessarily) a military exception as a rule, but an exception to the UCCJEA in my particular case.
I have also been through the federal courts in WA…first to the District Court for the Western District of WA, which stayed my case to see how the CA custody case was going (opposite of what should happen). I appealed to the 9th Circuit, which remanded the case back to the District Court to have an “expeditious hearing”. A three day hearing was held and it was determined that I did not have a case because our home had never left CA (the United States) even though we had moved all of our possessions out of the country. Additionally, none of the parties lived in that state, not even when she chose to abduct the children back to the US.
I appealed again to the 9th Circuit, which added one more blow on Dec. 9, 2004. In its Opinion, the court states that I “failed to prove that we abandoned the United States” as our habitual residence. So the court created a whole new burden upon petitioner’s in Hague cases. Not only do you have to prove where you lived, but where you didn’t live (or on longer lived).
The proof the court offered for a lack of abandonment, is that we move only temporarily (4 year tour), and the military paid for it, so it didn’t count. Additionally, we lived on base, so our home in Germany didn’t count as well.
I am now preparing an En Banc Petition for the 9th Circuit. The premise of my argument is that they put an unrealistic burden upon the “left-behind” parent that is contrary to the specific provisions of the Hague Convention. I also intend to argue that a new “military exception” clause is being created because the only distinguishing factor between my case and the majority of cases in which the children were returned is that I was military.
I don’t have much faith anymore in this legal system, but I will put in the fight because it is the right thing to do. It has cost me and my family dearly. Most importantly, it has cost us the time we could have spent together as family. It has also taken a huge financial toll…well over $140,000.
If more information is desired, then please check www.findlaw.com , or a request can be made and I will send all documentation/arguments desired.
There must be legislative change before we will get cultural change in the Family Court System. One major issue is the family court’s complete lack of accountability. The family court should be just as accountable to the rule of law as the criminal courts. After all, besides our right to freedom, what greater right is there than parenthood/privacy?
Name: Wendy Miller Location: Angie, LA
Email Addr: ncoolmaw@wmconnect.com
Children/Birth Date: Koby Miller 2000, Kaitlin Miller 2001
Date Separated: Nov 2001
Maternal grandparents have legal guardianship of children. Second degree cruelty to a juvenille charge pending against father of children.
One night in November, 2001 my one-month-old baby girl, Kaitlin, stopped breathing while in the arms of my husband, Brian. I was in the bedroom with my little boy, Koby, about twenty feet down the hallway from where Brian was trying to get Kaitlin to sleep. She had been pretty irritable all night with what we thought was a stomachache. I heard Kaitlin crying as I was clipping Koby’s fingernails, and I heard her when she stopped crying. I thought nothing of it; I just thought she had cried herself to sleep. It was at that point that my husband carried her back to the bedroom where I was to tell me that she felt funny. When I observed her, it was obvious something was very wrong, and this is when my worst nightmare began.
I frantically called 911 and told them to send an ambulance immediately. I then called my dad who lives about 100 yards from our house and told him something was wrong with Kaitlin. Brian had already started giving Kaitlin some rescue breaths while I was on the phone. As soon as my dad arrived, he and Brian began CPR. Kaitlin had begun faintly crying when the ambulance arrived about 20 minutes later. My dad met the paramedic at the door where he handed Kaitlin over and the man laid her on an adult sized stretcher and instructed me to sit in the front seat. The ambulance drove away with my little girl, totally unrestrained, and then proceeded to the end of the road where the driver slammed on breaks to avoid a collision with a Sheriff’s deputy. She was rushed to Riverside Hospital in Franklinton by the way of rural roads. The paramedic attempted to start an IV in Kaitlin’s foot, but failed. When we arrived at the hospital, Kaitlin was stable and the ER te! am began tests.
After being in the ER for a couple of hours, they admitted her into a regular room, but still had not made a diagnosis. They mentioned sepsis and reflux apnea as possible diagnoses. The next morning her doctor examined her and was considering sending her home but after conferring with the pediatrician decided to transfer her to Children’s Hospital for precautionary reasons. The doctor also said they would teach us to use an apnea monitor.
On the way to Children’s Hospital, Kaitlin began having seizures. Once she was admitted to Children’s, she began seizing more frequently so they sent her to PICU. We were not given any information on Kaitlin’s condition, just that it was grave.
The next day a Washington Parish OCS investigator and a forensic pediatrician, Dr. Scott Benton were questioning us about what had happened. We answered all of their questions very honestly and cooperated whole-heartedly; however, it didn’t make any difference. In their minds, they already knew what had happened, and it was at this point that we realized that Brian was being accused of child abuse. Dr. Benton labeled my husband from the very beginning saying that because he was young, unemployed, and former military, he fit the profile of a child abuser perfectly. While we were trying to digest that, they also told us that they wanted to perform a range of tests on our son, then 16 months old, for a sibling comparison in which he would have to be put to sleep. The tests on my son were to be performed in Franklinton so if I wanted to be with him that meant I would have to leave my little girl. All of the tests on Koby came back fine, but we were still told that we! were not to be alone with our son.
After three weeks in Children’s Hospital, Kaitlin was released, but not to the loving and comforting hands of her parents. OCS had decided to take custody of both of our children and placed them with my mom and dad. Since then, my husband and I have been allowed liberal visitation but an adult must supervise us at all times. We have both cooperated to the fullest extent with law enforcement and OCS. Brian has been before a Grand Jury who passed a “No True Bill”. We’ve been told by our caseworker that the department believes the only reason Brian was not prosecuted is because there was political influence by my dad on the Assistant DA, which makes absolutely no sense. Regardless, the Assistant DA has decided to override the Grand Jury and prosecute Brian anyway. We have been to see two doctors with our caseworker, which have disputed some of Dr. Benton’s theories. Both times after the appointments, OCS arranged meetings with Dr. Benton a! nd the disputing doctors. The doctors now deny ever telling us anything that disputed Dr. Benton’s theories. Our case worker has even told us and one of the doctors that she is not totally convinced that Brian abused Kaitlin and that she didn’t agree with the recommendation that she was going to give in court but that if she didn’t give that recommendation she would be fired. OCS has also been using me to try to get a confession from Brian. I have been told that unless I convict and divorce my husband, I will never get my kids back. My parents have also felt threatened by OCS. OCS has said that because my parents do not believe that Brian abused Kaitlin they too are potentially a threat to the safety of my kids; and, therefore, my children could be placed in foster care.
My husband has been very adamant that he did not harm our little girl, but OCS just keeps telling us that until they know what happened we will never get our kids back. OCS has said that they do not believe that I did anything to Kaitlin, but because they do not know exactly what happened, I am a threat to my kids’ safety. I have been in counseling for ten months. Brian has also been through counseling but has been told that unless he makes a confession, there is no reason for him to be counseled any further. Both of the counselors were hired by OCS. They want my husband to make a confession to something that he did not do and even then we are not guaranteed that we will ever get our kids back. We have explained every detail to the best of our recollection of that horrible night to law enforcement, OCS, a grand jury, and a judge. We have waived all of our rights to testify. We have completely cooperated with everything anyone has asked of us. OCS has even told! us that there is nothing short of a confession that we can do to end this mess and get our kids back.
In October, 2002, we attended a hearing in which the judge decided to give legal guardianship of my children to my parents. At that same hearing we also found out that my husband was being charged with second degree cruelty to a juvenile. We have hired separate attorneys now, but they haven’t been able to do anything for us. At Brian’s pre-trial hearing the attorney told us that after speaking with the prosecutor and the trial judge neither believe the allegations against my husband. The prosecutor has also told my husband’s attorney that the DA’s office does not want to prosecute this case, but they have to satisfy OCS. I ask, “Who’s running the show here?” but I think the answer is obvious.
I understand the reason why OCS got involved in this case, but they have taken this too far. Something has to be done. My daughter is now 18 months old and my son is almost 3 years old. Both children are very healthy, and we are all managing the situation the best we can. My biggest fear is that by the time my children get to come home, if ever, they will not want to anymore. I could not handle that since my children are my whole life. This has caused strained relations between my husband and me, my parents, and both of our families. All I want is my family.
Name: Patrick & Samantha Weber Location: Milwaukee, WI
Email Addr: Ssammie01@aol.com
Children/Birth Date: Leandra Przybyla 1993
Michael Przybyla 2000
Date Separated: 4/1996 & 6/2001
Our daughter has been adopted by her foster parents Our nephew Michael’s mother is in the process of having her rights terminated.
Leandra was taken from us in April 1996 after a custody issue with her birth mother turned violent. I was trying to gain sole custody of my daughter since her mother had not had any contact with her in 2 years. Her birth mother showed up in court strung out on drugs and started a fist fight with my fiance. When we went into court the family law judge said he wanted the case turned into a “CHIPS” petition. This meant that the daughter I had fought so hard to keep with me would now be placed in a foster home 50 miles from where I lived. I had no vehicle and was only allowed to visit my daughter when her foster mother allowed and only around the corner from her home. I was also instructed not to bring anybody with me or the visit would be cancelled.
Visits were always supervised and limited, the foster mother always had some type of conflict with the times that I would be available for visits. I worked second shift and Saturdays, leaving Sundays as my best chance of visiting with my daughter, except that the foster family had declared Sunday’s “Family Day” and even though she was my daughter I was not permitted to visit with her on Sundays. As time progressed and I met as many of their requirements as I humanly could and got a little closer to getting my daughter back they pulled a new rabbit out of their hat.
The accused me of molesting my daughter therefore stopping all visits unless supervised by a social worker, when they were available. I still don’t know exactly what these social workers do with their time because they were never available for visits. Of course that was if they could get any one social worker to stay on the case for any length of time. Over the course my case I had nine different case workers on my case, and every time they changed that meant starting all over again. After completing a parenting class, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, AODA treatment, Batterers Anonymous, counseling, getting married and keeping a very safe and healthy home they informed me that I would not be suitable to be given custody of my daughter, of course this decision was helped along by the foster mother who dearly wanted to adopt my daughter and had gotten permission from my daughter’s absent biological mother to adopt they then forced my hand into giving up my parental rights.
Now I live with the regret that I volunteered my rights and did not know enough at that time to fight fire with fire. I have lost my daughter to a woman who is old enough to be her great-grandmother has adopted 13 child. The system failed me and my daughter and now it is failing my sister in the exact same way. My nephew was placed in protective custody 13 months ago in a foster home where the foster mother has had 19 miscarriages and is unable to have children of her own so she has decided to use the foster care system in a way the the state officials allow, a “legalized adoption agency” you get to pick and choose the children that you would like to keep for yourself. If you don’t like the child you can help make that child’s return home successful, but boy, if you really like that child you can help the department keep the mother or father away and form a bond with that child and there you have a child to call your own and a lot sooner than going through a traditional adoption agency.
My wife and I even tried to gain placement of our nephew but now the bond the foster family has formed him is more important the the bond mother and child formed through pregnancy and in the time they had together and it’s more important than keeping him with his “biological family”.
I would like to see changes made in the system, families put back together and GAL’s, DA’s, and social workers held accountable for their actions. Our cases took place in Milwaukee, WI
Name: Jerry Gunn Location: Centennial, CO
Email Addr: ncp_justice@att.net
Children/Birth Date: Kevin (1990), Shawn (1994)
Date Separated: 1995
I want to let you know about a set of recent events that has made my stomach turn. This is a watered-down, but long story. Please hear me out. My only hope is that you will come to realize the full extent of the deep emotional turmoil and sense of hopelessness my husband is suffering at being separated from his children and over his dealings with the family court.
To start, my husband had two very charming and beautiful boys with his then girlfriend, Jennifer. Kevin was born in 1990 and Shawn in 1994. Shortly after Shawn was born the relationship, in which both were abusive to each other, ended. The state of Michigan filed an order giving sole custody and control of the boys to Jennifer and ordered Jerry to pay the Friend of the Court (FOC) $128.00 plus administrative fees per week in child support. In addition, he was ordered to pay 90% of any unreimbursed medical expenses.
The court order, however, failed to give Jerry any kind of visitation rights. Any visits he did have with the boys were at Jennifer’s sole discretion and whim. I will commend her for allowing Jerry to see the boys on an every-other weekend schedule. Unfortunately, it was a rare occasion when he got holidays. Jennifer did write the FOC stating that she objected to Jerry paying support because he was already supporting her by paying many of her bills. If he didn’t help pay her bills, she could not make it on her own and the children would suffer.
So, Jerry continued to pay her bills and pay her directly the $128.00 per week to ensure his children were taken care of. After approximately a year, Jennifer disobeyed the court order and moved the children out to Colorado in 1995. Jerry missed his children so much that after a year he packed up everything, left his family and friends, and moved to Colorado to be with them. Since then it has been a constant struggle. Now, my husband is not a saint, nor do I want to paint him as such. But I want you to see what he has done to support his family. Please keep this in mind as you read on. During the first couple of years Jerry was in Colorado, he attempted to find employment. As a laborer and painter, the jobs were inconsistent and paid very little. Although attempting to keep up with his support order, there were times when he literally gave Jennifer every dime to his name.
And, as he is not familiar with the law, was unaware of his right to request a modification. In early 2000, Jerry and I started dating. We had dated twice before, but that’s not relevant. Shortly thereafter Jerry and I set a wedding date for August 18, 2001, and he moved in with me since I owned a town home and his was unemployed. Jerry finally found a job as a construction assistant superintendent. However, because of financial difficulties, Jerry could not obtain a checking account and we deposited his paychecks into my account. I maintained and paid all bills, including his child support and other various child-related costs. In August 2000, Jennifer got upset with Jerry and demanded a child support payment before it was due.
After a heated discussion, Jennifer called back and left a voice mail message state, “This is the deal: you don’t see kids until I see the money.” This was the point that I told Jerry he needed to get an attorney and a custody battle soon followed. Although our original intent was to get Jerry legal rights to his boys established and in writing, we found more information about their household and life style that gave us cause for concern. We have found that their stepfather has abused the boys on more than one occasion and consistently uses corporal punishment on them. Jennifer has neglected the boys by failing to get them additional educational assistance when both were failing (Kevin in 4th and Shawn in kindergarten), and didn’t get Kevin the dental care he needed when he had an abscessed tooth.
Additionally, Kevin has been diagnosed as having Post-Traumatic Stress disorder with psychotic features. He also wets the bed every night. Now, I can give additional examples of all the other tidbits we have learned about, but these simple examples should give you insight. So, we petitioned the court for sole custody hoping to at least get more time and a little more decision-making in their lives. Jerry wanted to help his boys become mature, responsible adults. He felt that boys need their father and mother; not just a visitor. Finally, Jerry was in a position to help his children and wanted to do just that. I do want to point out that since this has started we have been alienated from their lives. It is on a rare occasion that Jennifer informs us of doctor and therapy appointments as well as school happenings.
At one point it got so bad, that Jerry or I was stopping at the school every Thursday to find out what was going on and what we could to do help. In fact, Jennifer failed to show up to two of Kevin’s IEP assessment conferences and didn’t show up for Kevin’s Parent/Teacher conference. In addition, we have had to do damage control by explaining to the boys that their Dad DOES support them. Yes, he does pay child support. No, he didn’t abandoned you when you were young. Additionally, Jerry and I offered to pay for summer school and offered to place them on our insurance. Both of which Jennifer declined. Also, we have purchased school supplies, school cloths and various other items for them. Not once has the money been an issue if we had it. We also hired a custody evaluator to make sure that we weren’t doing this for the wrong reason and to get his opinion. Unfortunately, we spent $6,500 for an inaccurate and incomplete report. Not to mention the fact that he didn’t get his job done on time causing a continuance.
The evaluator failed to contact important references and then proceeded to write up an additional report about the stepfather hitting Kevin over the head with a gate. In his report he stated that he had talked to all parties involved when he hadn’t. Essentially committing fraud on the court. We did, however, come out with a recommendation for � time and joint decision-making. With the evaluator’s report in hand and all our witnesses, we thought for sure we would at least get a couple additional days a week with the boys. Jerry was a loving, attentive father who wanted nothing more than to be involved with his sons. How could we loose?
Boy, were we dead wrong. We received our verdict from Magistrate Angela Arkin on August 9, 2002 that allowed my husband’s two boys to remain in an abusive and neglectful environment. We even had one of the boys’ neighbors testify to what she had been witnessing: ongoing verbal and physical abuse, a filthy house and information from Jennifer that they were selling their house and would move the boys away from Jerry. But, the Magistrate completely ignored it. In addition, we got slammed with hefty arrearages, child support, and a portion of her lawyer fees. All that essentially take 2/3 of my husband’s income…putting him below poverty level.
To add to this horrible set of circumstances, I was just laid off from my job. My husband and I are trying to figure out how we are going to survive. He can’t support himself, let alone his new family. During the trial, we were not allowed to enter so many things into evidence. Some of which included taped telephone conversations of Jennifer calling Jerry to help her because Kevin had gotten out of control, and one where Kevin called crying because his Mom had slapped him across the face for talking-back. If you could only hear the hurt and confusion in this boy’s voice. Other items included school records and copies of expenses that Jerry had paid on behalf of his children. Her attorney’s opening statement included the fact that Jerry was heavily in arrears.
Now, since the Magistrate had been a former child support enforcement officer, this set her off immediately. Do I think Jerry owed Jennifer money for arrears? Yes. Do I think that affects his ability to parent his children now? No. I feel that the Magistrate was so clearly biased that she failed to hear our side. And I would also like to mention the fact that there are so many mistakes of facts in her order I wonder if she was even in the same courtroom. My husband was blamed for not giving their mother additional money when she asked for it and continually made reference to his “unwillingness to financially support his children.” She then proceeded to dismiss the fact that their mother committed welfare fraud, is underemployed, and allows their stepfather to abuse them.
Needless to say, the boys are confused as well. All they wanted was more time with Dad. Now what happens when they move away? After going through the process we’ve spent over $40,000 in attorney fees and other related expense, lost our savings and am now left with no choice but to continue pro-se. We can’t figure out how we are going to appeal this, or if we can. If we can, where do we begin? I need help understanding how scared, unprepared, or overwhelmed fathers can be helped to go on trying for the love of their children.
Today, there is no carrot for fathers — only the stick. I believe that there is an undeniable need for the family court to protect many women, but there is also a strong need for an “unbiased” inquiry into family law and the child-support system to make it fairer and “less brutalizing” for men. Now, I want you to know that if even for an instant I though my husband was a danger to those boys, I would not have supported him throughout this ordeal. What I ask of you is to help. Please help us get our story public. We need publicity! If there is anyone out there who can help us and help the children fight this injustice, we would be eternally grateful. Thank you for your time.
Gena Glider-Gunn
Name: Mary Jo Marceau-Hawthorne Location: Macedon, NY
Email Addr: mmarceauhawthorne@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Gwen Ann Marceau, August 12 1985
Brian Arthur Hawthorne, November 6 1989
Date Separated: November 1999
My daughter was taken from my custody because I placed her into a government PINS (Persons in need of Supervision) program for out of control teens. My daughter later filed a complaint against me when told her rights. She claimed I abused and neglected her. This is not true. She is very confused and listened to the wrong people. She was placed into a group home for troubled teens by the court.
click on image for larger version.
I appealed and asked for a review of the case when I found out she might be suffering from depression. I have never been allowed to have Gwen come home to live and never was any family preservation counseling done by CPS although they claimed to the judge under oath that it was done. Even my daughter knows it was not done but she defends CPS because they give her any thing she wants. They don’t supervise my daughter properly and allowed her to go driving with 17 and 18 year old boys at the age of 14. She is now in a foster home and the foster parents are angry with me when I criticize their parenting of my daughter.
The foster parents both work yet they are paid by the state and county for watching my daughter who is home alone after school. She was supervised in my home after school. My daughter has claimed to me that she had a relationship with a boy that is 21 and named Joe. The foster folks have a son that is 21 and is named Joe. The judge didn’t even bother listening to me and he made all of the decisions.
My daughter testified and the judge believed every word she said and none of what I said. The family courts are corrupt, the CPS and Family Placement divisions are corrupt and violating our constitutional rights as parents. They have absolute power that has corrupted absolutely. We are being treated like a pay check instead of a parent by the court system and this corrupt system is deceiving the tax paying public and misappropriating funds to keep this corruption going.
We need to take a stand!!!!! We need to take back our country.
Name: Elaine Hartin Location: Deltona, FL
Email Addr: cehartin@hotmail.com
Children/Birth Date: Grey Hartin (1991)
Date Separated: Aug 28, 1998
My aunt and uncle have custody of my daughter. We will be going to court soon for a contempt hearing. I filed contempt charges against them for violating my court awarded visitation on Mother’s Day weekend (of all weekends). I am also planning to take them back to court for a change of custody hearing, but my attorney won’t do anything yet because I owe him a rather large sum of money.
My daughter was taken from me by a temporary emergency custody order that was filled with false information. This order was granted without any rebuttal opportunity from me, nor was the Department of Social Services (South Carolina) notified or asked to investigate. I am a gay mom who has been with my partner for four and a half years. My daughter loves us both dearly and she is miserable with my aunt and uncle. I have been handed the burden of proof of fitness from the beginning and I have faced a biased family court system and two biased attorney guardian-ad-litems (one admitted to my attorney she was biased against me only after she had given her recommendation and the hearing was over).
The judge’s latest decision was that he did not find me unfit, but he did not feel that I was fit enough to care for my daughter. I also suffer from manic depression, but I see a doctor regularly and I take my medication faithfully every day. My lifestyle and my illness have been used against me at every turn. I’m chastised for seeing a psychologist to treat my illness, even though it has really helped me get my life and priorities straight. My lifestyle is condemned, though my girlfriend has been VERY supportive throughout this hell. We own a home together, have steady good paying jobs, and a wonderful circle of family and friends who support and love us unconditionally. We have everything a “normal, conventional family” has except a piece of paper that says we have right to live together (otherwise known as a marriage certificate).
I’m not crusading for gay rights, I just want people to understand that I can love my daughter just the same as a “normal family” can. God made us all and he doesn’t make mistakes. I’m currently having to fight to keep my aunt and uncle from alienating my daughter from me. They stand in the way of almost every opportunity we have together and the court seems to condone this. It seems as if I have no rights as a natural mother.
The family court system in Lexington County, South Carolina has only two to four judges available to handle cases so you pretty much go before the same ones every time. The guardians are attorneys so they all know each other, the judges,… and you know the rest of the story. Your chances for a fair trial are slim to none since your case is not decided by a jury, but by the judges and the guardians. The need for reform is definitely in order.
Parents, whether on opposing sides or fighting a third-party, seem to have no rights whatsoever when it comes to fighting for their children. Their children’s fate lies in the hands of complete strangers, stangers who get paid to break up families every day. Something needs to be done to stop this. No one should have to deal with this sort of pain, especially children.
Name: Jack Jonnasen Location: Gainesville, FL
Email Addr: critterbytes@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Erica (1986)
Date Separated: 8 May 2002
I can’t describe what I was feeling the first few weeks! You know, they took her from school? I didn’t even see it happen. I found myself wandering about the back yard, late one night, wondering if she was buried there! My mind wasn’t making the connection that they took her. (I knew, but I didn’t see it happen, so it didn’t!)
I lost about ten pounds the first two weeks, ya just don’t feel much like eating. I break out crying, for no reason, in the middle of the day… A major part of my life, 15 years worth of it, has just been yanked out from under me.
I’m scared. The doors are all locked, the fence is chained, and I’m still afraid of being broken in on, at any moment, to be arrested…And for what? What did I do???
I can’t get them to tell me much about what is going on. I’m only given single page notices to appear. I’ve been to court now, 4 times. We’re scheduled to appear for mediation next week. The third visit, the court appointed attorney finally showed up. He read me the riot act. He told me I should “go walk in front of a truck!” “Don’t you have any friends?” he asked Lately, it don’t feel that way! My confidence in him is at an all time low. He told them to take my daughter, “we aren’t going to contest this, this is now lack of porch screens type of case!” His secretary is nice, but she has only scheduled me one appointment to talk with him, and that is for two days before the mediation.
I’m feeling better, now it’s a few weeks into all this. I saw Erica at court. I hardly recognized her, she has her hair dyed black. She was in tears, and gave me a hug. I’m not supposed to have any contact with her, so I’m confused. I hand her a letter I wrote and restrain myself from getting excited. She walks away, the social worker yanks the letter from her hands before she gets a chance to read it. She gave me a father’s day present, and left… She was on the opposite side of the court during the proceedings.
I’m to get a batterer’s assessment. My daughter has never been injured by me. I have to go to parenting classes. I still am not allowed any contact with my daughter. We meet again in a week to discuss the charges…
All this psychiatric consultation, it’s only about money? God, I hope so! Then there would be a solution. Just throw some money at it! And, I could be done with it!
Well, I’m realizing the state’s message is this: you are not allowed to criticize your kid, don’t ever raise your voice at them, and god forbid, you should even “think” about smackin’ them! You are allowed to only think “happy, happy” thoughts while in your child’s presence! A minor, after all, could never do any wrong! And your mental disturbances will most likely rub off on them! So, they should be strictly censored…
You are required to give your child a minimum of three hugs and a dozen compliments a day. Your child had better come before all else! (Or, else!)
If she says “Dad, you need to take me to the mall”, you had better be at the car, keys ready, fishing for your wallet, asking “how much do you want, honey?” And, “shall I bring the car around for you, later? At what time, would be convenient for you m’am?”
It doesn’t matter that the truck payment is due, along with the bill for her dental work, and the credit she ran up on clothes she didn’t need, or that you may be a little short! Dig deep!
And, you had better be doing all this, with a smile! :0)
Should your daughter tell you, she decided to go to the school 25 miles across town. So, she can be with her boy friends. (one of which she just broke up with, the one who is the reason she decided to do the first unsuccessful suicide attempt) When a better one, that she was hot to go to only a month before, is closer. So, you can spend hours driving her to sporting events, or other extra curricular events of her choosing (or just give it up, and let her go unsupervised). You, had better tell her how clever she is, and what a smart decision she made!
If she lies to you about her relation ships, her activities over the Internet, about any adults she has on going relationships with… Well, it’s none of your damned business! She has a “right to privacy!” (I don’t recall ever seeing that one on the books!)
Should you notice unusual tire tracks in the yard, and strange foot prints, do not even think about inquiring as to “Who was here this after noon, honey?” It only demonstrates that you are paranoid, obviously in need of psychiatric care, and psychotropic medications!
Do not ever inquire as to where strange articles of underwear came from. Which, you would never allow her to purchase.
And, Yes! 17 year old boys, commonly do make $50 gifts to 15 year old girls, when it is not their birthday, or other special event!
“You should be happy, Mr. Johnson, that your daughter hasn’t started using drugs, or committed any serious crimes, considering all the crap you put her through!” My lawyer told me.
Ya, right! And monkeys will fly out my butt! Let me bend over so they can see! :0)
Should your daughter attempt suicide, not report it, and lie to you about it, and then report it to social services… You are guilty of gross negligence and mental abuse! This makes you eligible to have your child removed from your home, to protect her from you. Even though, she has already demonstrated that she is the only one dangerous to her self!
Further more, the department of protective services will ask the courts to go directly into your income sources , bypass your choice in the matter (even though your credit is good) to cover any damages we deem appropriate, until the end of your life! You lousy abusive scum bag!
Only the state can determine what is best for your kid. So, if you haven’t been to a state sponsored “education program of parenting” that they requested (and of which there is no legal requirement), you have absolutely no rights as a parent. Or, to expect to be treated with any dignity on the matter…
Your children may be seized for any reason the department deems necessary! It then becomes your financial responsibility, to try to get them back. Because, in this day and age you are guilty of any crimes the state accuses you of. And, it remains so, until you have been to a state sponsored psychologist for mental health screening.
You must be cleared for parenting by an approved school, and have proven beyond any reasonable doubt that you are innocent of any crimes, misdemeanors, or insults, your child, any stranger, or anonymous fax, ‘suggests’ you may have committed upon her.
Or, your child may be removed if the department thinks ‘you may’ , or ‘may be about to’ commit any of the above.
“This is only a civil suit, Mr. Johnson! (that is why we brought two squad cars to accompany us, and ask you if you had any weapons in your car while it was on your property, and you were not driving it) Of course we knew you would be unwilling to surrender your social security information, had the kind officers not so ordered it from you!”
“By the way, did you ever say that you wished your daughter were dead? There is no reason to get upset, Mr. Johnson! We are only doing our jobs! We take children from their parents, all the time. It really isn’t a big deal…”
(I heard that Nazi Germany had a similar philosophy, and programs :0) Long live totalitarianism!
Now that they have my attention, and my child…Ya, I could use some help!
“When is the department going to go after her mother for back child support? We asked for assistance with that 10 years ago. Yes, I would like her to have visits with her mother. I think she is upset that mom failed to vist over spring break. When are they going to help me get some sort of reasonable custody agreement worked out?”
“Yes, Being an inexperienced single male parent, I could use some insight into the workings of the teen aged girl’s mind! Why are the state’s sponsored psychologists the only ones who can give me this information, and no one else? Why is it that it only became important for me to have this information right now? When did their psychology training become a lawful prerequisite to custody?”
“If my daughter is suicidal, and hides it from me, how does that make me negligent? Yes, I could use some help for my daughter’s mental health problems! What services should I seek from your department for a suicidal teen? “
“What? You believe that just separating my daughter from me, and placing her at a girl friend’s home with her uncertified single mother, is sufficient help? (Hello! Is there something wrong with this picture? Or, is it just me???) Why isn’t she on suicide watch? Or, getting a full drug and pregnancy screening? Why is she not placed with a certified foster care family?
The state’s official reply: “Now that we have your daughter, we’ll get back to you on that! It takes up to three months to work up a foster care plan. It could take up to a year…So, hurry up and seek psychiatric counseling for your self, and take all these classes we have proscribed! (at your own expense, of course!)”
“By the way, it would be really convenient, if you wouldn’t bother us with any lawyers you might seek assistance from! “
“And, don’t forget to drop off some more clothes at the front desk. You know? The one with the ‘community service’ helpers manning it… “
“Thank You! Please go away now!”
All said and done, with a very toothy smile, the social worker walked off with a disgusted look on her face. As if, I had been being difficult! I noticed her sharply pull the bottom of her blouse down in front, making it pop, like a disgusted officer on Star Trek might do!
I still have my prayers going, I’m hopping that the judges have more sense than these investigators and social workers do. And I pray, my daughter is not a psychotic mess, when they get through with her!
Following UPDATE submitted on 7/25/02:
The department is “working towards reunification” story:: This is a copy of some correspondence with a friend:
Ron, About time those turkeys picked up on the truth. Mitch and Joanie (me too) feel you need to sue the adult that put E up to it (getting department of Women and Children involved) for your monetary loss and loss of affection. You need to talk to a good lawyer that handles such cases. Ralph
Hi Ralph,
Those turkeys believed that I was the turkey, all fattened up, and ready for the kill! Erica told them I was psychotic, refusing to go to the VA for treatment, and not taking my medications. Gee, ya think they could have at least made a phone call to the VA to confirm that? :0)
This woman that helped Erica is, no doubt, a nosey busybody. But, I think that she actually helped. She doesn’t know anything but what Erica told her. And, that is what she reported. I think it’s chicken-shit of her to FAX it anonymously, but that isn’t what is damaging. She did get E. some place to get her helped for her psychological problems.
So, I’d have difficulty showing that she damaged me. I still think it’s the department, at fault. And, I think they will be, until they return Erica to my home!
Well, I still don’t have Erica’s deposition tape. I wasn’t invited to attend it. They want to withhold it from me for some reason. My lawyer’s secretary seems to think it should be my lawyer’s decision weather, or not, I have a copy of it. Don’t we have a fundamental right to face our accusers in this country? I guess we don’t, not when it is a child involved! When did it become the lawyer’s right to decide? (I think my lawyer’s secretary needs a kick in the buttocks!) If I had the tape, at least then I could understand what E’s complaint is all about!
E’s angry at me. I can’t fix that. It can only be fixed with family counseling. (Or, so the social worker thinks. She seems to control a lot more of this whole process, than anyone is letting on.) So, the worker gives me a list of family counselors, and tells me to get help, on my own account. I get to pay. We both get to go. She was even gracious enough to “allow” me to come pick up Erica at Interface, to do the sessions. Well, she also tells me that the counselors must be state certified, but she doesn’t say in what, or if it means that they are just state licensed. The people on her list don’t even know what she is asking for!
Also, Interface tells her, “You had better make him clear his visits and pick ups through your office, before you let E. out to go to counseling.” I can understand that. I can schedule a fictitious appointment, and then take her to Mc D’s. Do they just make up the rules as they go along? (I’m wondering where this Social Worker keeps her brain, when she is not using it! :0)
So, I’m hung up on securing the family counseling, until she clarifies it. In the mean time, home studies are being done in CA at E’s mom’s house.
I see social services saying one thing, and doing quite another, delaying me just enough to see if they can’t place Erica at her mom’s. I don’t like what I see! In court, there are big pats on the back, and smiley faces. Out of court, there are changes in plans, and delays to the process. Why? So, E can have a vacation at her mom’s? I think that will add a lot more confusion to this mess, than it needs! She can work out her differences with her mom, after she has focused on the big problem that landed her at Interface…
Social Services seems to be going out of their way to make Erica comfortable. Why her, and not any of the others? This looks real suspicious to me!
I wish I could sue somebody. But I think the state workers are insulated from prosecution. I think the biggest foul up going on, is at the state level. And, It’s the state’s rules and regulations that seem to need an overhaul.
My sister keeps telling me about all the horror stories that are involved with FL’s dept. of women and children. They keep broadcasting them in Va. (I just realized that it might be the name that is confusing these people… It should be the ‘department of families’, period! Then men aren’t the logical and unstated enemy!)
I think the department is guilty of failing to insert brain, before acting on child’s complaint! They took E’s story at face value. They didn’t look into it for the facts.
Well the facts are out, and now the department has egg on their face. But they are still justified in holding Erica. She needs psychological help. She told them she is suicidal. That is what they are holding her for, now. Of course they aren’t explaining it that way to me. I’m just the “offending parent”! (That title needs a change now, too. Along with a rewrite of the laws so they can deal with that, when it comes up. They need a way to send the child right back home, immediately, when the parent is found to be not “offending”!)
Mean time, this is going to be listed in the final results as “unfounded”. Unfounded cases will still take 6 months, or more, of separation! So a child can be picked up for assistance, separated from her family, and detained, while they verify that it is “unfounded”, for 6 months, or more, with out a trial, and with out a court order! The parents can also be denied visitation, or contact, and be ordered into parenting classes, and/or to counseling, because the dept. deems it “necessary”! And all that, on a social worker’s whim!
I’ve also found that the department can be a bit vindictive, using visitation as a ‘carrot and a stick.’ Mine promised me visitation, then rescinded that when she discovered that I was not ”cooperating with the department”. That is, I consulted with my lawyer, and then refused to just turn over my personal documents at her request. Now, how “unfounded” can that get? I’m either a threat to my daughter, or not. And, that should be the sole deciding factor with regard to visitation!
Had the lawyer explained all that, this wonderfully pleasant experience I’m having with the department, to me, on day one, instead of showing up to court late, and giving me the rushed explanation at the temporary shelter hearing, “We can’t win this! Just give her to them, and I’ll help you get her back…” I’d have said, “No!” Right there, and then.
So, if there is a case or cause for damages… I think the lawyer was in the know on this, and was too busy, or just failed to help me correctly at that time. Or maybe, he is paid better, by the state, to play these child welfare games? He quoted me “$5k, up front, flat fee…” Does the state pay him by the hour? If so, we are really putting in the time on this! (none dare call it a “conspiracy!” :0)
Erica is (I think) cutting herself (allegedly, on two occasions). Supposedly, she did it to get my attention. But, she’s not letting me know she did it. Very strange! I would think that she would want me to know, if I’m the reason!) Anyhow, she is using some very bad means to settle her differences. Those means indicate mental problems. For that, she needs help.
So, I’m not really damaged by the woman who sent the anonymous faxes. And, the department needs to help Erica. But, I don’t see how they need to keep her separated from me! Only Erica, has been proven to be dangerous, and then, only to herself!
In the mean time, I get to suffer through the process! Why could they not just tell me, “You need to get help for your daughter,” and send her home? They can always follow up on it, and can take up custody with the courts at any time. But it seems like, once they got them in their greedy little clutches on the children, they intend to keep them! Are they saying, “Let’s keep the easy cases, to justify the budgets, and show we are over worked, and under funded?” I think that needs to be looked into!
They’ve already had Erica for 9 weeks! My next court date is 10 weeks away. That means, no court order to return Erica to my home, at least, not until then. It will be at least 20 weeks, before Erica is returned to my custody! (And we thought we had it resolved!) “Things are moving very quickly, by our terms…” my lawyer’s secretary tells me. “Not by my mine! ” I tell her. “This whole thing seems a bit insane! The department tells us, “We are going to work towards reunification…” in court… “But, we are going to send E. to CA for a little visit with her mother, first! “ They tell me outside of side of court, (where I can’t have the judge think it over). “You need to get family counseling for you and your daughter, before we can consider unsupervised visitation. But, you can do that, after your daughter returns…” They continue…Is there some thing wrong with this picture, or is it just me? God! I hope she does return! :0)
Mean time, Ralph, if you guys can find it in your hearts to forgive Erica her indiscretion, we could use a supervised visit. I think we can get a dinner out approved with you and Joanie. We’d have to get it approved through the dept. and you would have to pick E. up at Interface. I think that would help a lot! But I’d understand, if you need to decline. (My heart is still hurting too!) In any case, I’d still like to take you guys to dinner to the place of your choice, my treat! :0) Let me know what’s a good time…
LAteR ON!
Following update submitted on 4/13/03
Don’t know what I’m gonna do with Erica. She don’t want to be here with me in my home, and I am not inclined to put up with any more of her B.S..
When people lie, and then get the courts involved, the results can be devastating! (And then you get people screaming in the streets, “there is no justice!”) Do this in the presence of the Dept of Children and Families, and it’s worse. It becomes a nightmare that can last for a years. There is no such thing as justice there, even when every thing gets proved out in the end. There is no repairing the damage that department can cause with it’s interference in a family’s lives. You can’t put back together, what they have rent apart. It will there after, NEVER, be the same!
Erica saw a chance to make things go her way, and sway the custody issue. She took the shot. I don’t think she understood what she was getting us (her self, her mom, and I) all involved with. But the seriousness of her character flaw still glares out, there. At 15, she is still a child, what thinks she is an adult, and can make adult decisions about her life. She is getting a $300K home with a pool, a vacation in Tahoe, to go skiing while she should be in school, and is working on an income for life , courtesy of dad’s pocket. ( But, not if I can help it! :0) That is her motivation. Who cares, that dad has been the only one fending for her, for the last 15 years?
As a parent, I’m supposed to “forgive and forget.” And, I’m also supposed to see that she is not unduly protected from life’s lessons. What you don’t know: I’m getting the blame, for her difficult life; her insensitive boyfriend’s behavior (the one she insisted she never had); her mother that didn’t care, until recently; her difficult classes at school (which she chose to take, against my advice); her hormonal changes; and all the other miscellaneous pressures that life in America places on a kid; Erica has not made this an easy task…
There will be no recovery from the lawyer’s fees, to a lawyer that don’t care, and thinks you are guilty, from the numerous court sessions, or all the shrink’s fees and visits, from the parenting classes given by people who should never be allowed in the presence of a child, much less teaching about them, from the night mares of having your kid wrenched from your home, with no valid explanations, from trying to figure out why the DCF singled you out for a “Minority Report” style operation, and accused you of a crime, before any was committed.
It’s not unlike living in a waco-ward, let me tell ya! The difference is, in the psycho ward, at least they can give you an injection to make you forget about it all, for a while! (he says, drugged, with a bit of drool hanging from the side of his mouth…) And, a nice padded cell, so you don’t hurt yourself banging your head against the wall, while you scream out, “Why, Why” WHY???” to no one who cares, or who will ever answer!
And, there is no recovery, from the discovery that your child has grown up to be a liar and a thief! I won’t mention, all the crap she tossed at my character! A parent, you see, has only themselves to blame! It couldn’t possibly, be a flaw in the child’s character, or genes! :0)
Yes, I hope this blows over too, but, at present, I think it is unlikely….
Still, the BaDDaD!
Name: Debra Moreland Location: Grafton, WV
Email Addr: PoohHug@aol.com
Children/Birth Date: Joshua Moreland age 9; Toby Moreland age 6, and Nina Moreland age 4 (as of July 2002)
Date Separated: February 1, 2002
Yes I have not seen them since the last weekend in February And because I was going through a depression from not having my kid’s I am no longer aloud to see them. Their abusive father has them and his lies has caused me the loss of my kid’s.
In my divorce { which was because he left the kid’s and me for my own cousin } my lawyer would not fight for me to keep my kid’s with me. My husband in June of last year left bruises on two of our three kid’s and then left us for my cousin and her two kid’s. I turned him in trying to protect my kid’s for being abused by him any more. He went and told lies on me and made it look like I abused them when I never did abuse our kid’s. This caused me a lot of problems when it came time to go to divorce court.
The case worker did not even try to find out if what he was saying was true. She just believed him over the truth. She told my lawyer that if he went in and fought for my kid’s I would be stripped of my rights to be their mother. He told me the day of court he would not fight for me and made me sign a parent agreement. I called my kid’s every night and he didn’t like this fact, or the fact he had to bring the kid’s to me on my time to visit them and come back to get them. So he went and told the case worker I was filling the kid’s heads with things and because I know he drinks and drives with them and was trying to look out for my kid’s by calling the cops and asking questions about what I can do to make sure he wasn’t drinking when he came to get the kid’s.
I was no longer allowed to call them and only had supervised visits at His dad and mom’s. This caused me to go into a really big Depression and I end up signing my self in the hospital twice from it. Now I am not aloud to even see my kids and I am being forced to just let his abuse keep on going. My parents are going to fight for their rights to see my kid’s and this case worker is trying to keep them from it. She told me she will see they have no contact with my kid’s.
So I am left doing this about these laws that is to prevent child abuse but is causing it and letting real child abuse keep on going untouched. The facts our like this, our Federal Government coughs up just under $20,000 dollars a year for each child in foster care weather or not they are being abused or not. 192,000 children every weekday is being but in foster care and this don’t mean these children are being abused but that Child Protective Services say they are. 8 out of 10 of these children in foster care are being abused and/or killed by their foster parents. This makes them abusing our kid’s as well as us parents. If we all got together and fight to have these laws changed or new ones made.
This may just put a stop to good parents being abused by the system. If you are willing to stand up for your rights contact me and let me know what you are willing to do to help. The other sad fact in all of this is trying to prove you are a good parent. If you can find a lawyer to stand up and fight for you. You will be spending thousands of dollars, and this don’t mean you will win. Only that you are spending money to try and prove you are not a bad parent. My email address is PoohHug989@aol.com and my home address is :
48 Sunset Terrace Grafton
WV 26354.
Its time the system was changed to stop abuse and not do abuse. My Name is Debra Moreland and I am standing up for all parents rights not just my own.
Name: Mike Mates Location: Concord, CA
Email Addr: joseph.m.mates@bankofamerica.com
Children/Birth Date: Ryan (1998)
Date Separated: 15 June 2002
My wife convinced the mediator that my “presence in the home” was causing emotional stress for our son and that my son does not think of me as a father, he thinks of me as an “uncle” and I have virtually no relationship with him. These things are completely untrue. In addition I am gainfully employed, have been for 22 years, have no vices, am educated and there has been no physical or emotional abuse. yet the court bought what she said, I have to more out and there has been a “temporary” custody order allowing me to see my son 1 day a week and every other weekend.
We both have to attend a second custody evaluation paid for by me ($4000). I’m ok with that. Right now I live in OUR home and see him every day morning, night and a tremendous amount of time on the weekend. What is wrong with this picture? My attorney told me today; You lost the first round, move out of the house. My problem, moving out before the second custody evaluation will damage my relationship with my son thus hurting my chances at the second custody evaluation.
How come a mother is assumed to be a good mother, by virtue of the fact that she is a mother, and a father has to prove he is a good father. I even provide at least 10 letters of reference to the judge and mediator and just just blew it off. Any suggestions. I am contacting a second attorney tomorrow. A “men only” attorney. My current attorney is not the “pit bull” type I need. I don’t think she understand men only issues.
Name: Shanda Behl Location: Portland, OR
Email Addr: hiz_angel@msn.com
Children/Birth Date: Cameron (2000)
Date Separated: 06/2002
My son has just turned 2 and is in the custody of his father. I left his dad in April of 2002 due to domestic violence. My son and I stayed where his father could not find us while I got a restraining order. Once that was established, we went to court for dad to have visitation. He was given 2 hours supervised by the court. I was given full custody. At this time, dad decided he wanted his son, but had no grounds for getting custody. In fact, there was a considerable amount going against him at this point. Shortly after, his dad began to threaten me with accusations of MSBP. Remember how I said he had no grounds for being able to get custody? Well, here it was. MSBP! Our son is a special needs child and here was the answer!
Up until leaving, I had been a stay at home mom virtually. My financial resources had been cut by 95% when I left! Anyways, I had a legal aid lawyer for low income families and that was it. His father told me that if I did not give! up custody to him!, then he would take me to court on the accusation of MSBP. He even got "experts"e; involved at get financial cost. I have enough evidence and proof that I have not subjected my son to this horrible abuse, but it takes money to get it in court.
His dad had money and I did not. If I went to court to fight to keep custody, I would have walked out with nothing, not even supervised visits. Not because of guilt, but because I did not have the funding to get the proof of my innocence into court. Legal aid does not pay for subpoenas, expert witnesses, evaluations, testing or anything else. It only covers the number of hours your lawyer puts in, like a mechanic, you pay for the labor and then you pay for parts ,but it is worthless if you do not have the parts and the labor!
So, in fear of what would happen if I went to court without being able to properly defend myself, I willingly (under duress) signed over custody without ever going to court. Well, we had 2 hearing! s, one was for him! to have visitation, the other was whether or not he had the right to access all my medical records by subpoena. The visitation was supervised for him and he was denied access to my records.
So, I thought that by giving up custody willingly would be the best choice for these reasons.
1) If I went to court now, I would have custody taken away for lack of proof of innocence and not have another chance, or
2) Willingly give up custody, get my ducks in row and go back in prepared.
It seemed to me that the 2nd option seemed to be the best one. Boy was I wrong! In the end, both options would end up having the same results. He now has custody, and I have supervised visitation and I have no rights and am more worthless now that I was in the beginning. I can not even move to have unsupervised visitation as if I do his father has said that he will then take me to court for termination of parental rights and /or criminal charges.
It is no longer about what is best for our children, it is now, who has money? Money is deciding where my son lives and what kind of quality of life he will grow with. My hands are tied till a money tree sprouts in my mail box or back yard to hire an attorney that will take this on.
Dear son,
I want you to know, that I love you with all of my heart. You are always with me. My empty arms yearn to hold you. To be able to smell your sweet head and kiss your little toes. I wish I had the words to tell you how much my heart aches for you. No matter what happens, I never want you to doubt my love and desire for you in my life. Nothing and no one will ever be equal in my eyes or in my heart. Whenever you hear the song Amazing Grace or You are my sunshine, please let your heart and spirit remember how you felt when I held you and rocked you to sleep singing……your mommy